Rules for Single Males

[SIDESHOW]

hmmm good advice for a noob in there. most of it seems to be common sense, but thats the funny thing with common sense these days- its really not that common.

I would love to find one of these clubs or partys in the vancouver bc area if anyone has any tips or leads, how can I take the advice w/o a club lol


c

[hartfordlover]

Well!
That's why a newbie, like myself cant' seem to get into the scene! I'm a single male, and my perception is that this is a closed society. I didn't know that couples had so much trouble getting a single male to participate in consentual adult fun. I know it is definately difficult for a single male to find a woman to get into the swinging lifestyle! I'm new, interested, and, eager, but I can't seem to find anyone to introduce me.
Now I see why!
I'm humble and want to go in as a student. I want to learn the proper etiquette, then become a practicing, desired partner. Take me, mold me, teach me...I'm yours!

[JnCC]

Originally Posted by hartfordlover

I'm a single male, and my perception is that this is a closed society.

Not really, but as a single male, you're NOT going to find many couples who will go out of their way to welcome you into it. Unless you are bi, or have a specific desire to have sex with another man's wife in his presence, you might find that this is more trouble than it's worth.

I know it is definately difficult for a single male to find a woman to get into the swinging lifestyle!

If all you're looking for is a swing partner, you're probably right. Most women won't do this unless they're in some sort of relationship with the man they're doing it with. If they're NOT going to be in a relationship with him, what do they need him for? Certainly not for sex...they can get plenty of that in the lifestyle. YOU'RE the guy that's going to be on the outside in that situation...

I'm humble and want to go in as a student. I want to learn the proper etiquette, then become a practicing, desired partner. Take me, mold me, teach me...I'm yours!

You sound a little needy, maybe even desperate. If you REALLY want to learn what this is about and what a couple might be looking for in a single man, you should probably start with a woman of your own. After you've been in a committed relationship with her for a while, ask her to find another man to join you in bed. Once you've learned to deal with your own fears and insecurities about single males, you'll have some idea what it takes to BE one.

[1funmedic]

I as single male completely agree. I only have one thing maybe to ad that I haven't seen posted, and that is you are not only going to be in an intimate setting with the wife but the husband as well. So if you can't talk to the couple as a couple with your clothes on, you probably won't be allowed to be around when the clothes come off. Bottom line is this boils down to respect for everyone and everyone's feelings.

[Oui69]

The biggest turn-off for my wife and I is for single guy, dressed like he just got off a tractor, stroking his cock and following us around the club - thinking he's even got a chance of getting in on the action! We've left several clubs early because of that and even told the manager of one we've known for several years that we'll only go back on nights when there are no single guys.

Like many others have posted: that's my wife, treating her like a piece of meat and thinking she'll jump on you - get real and show some respect.

You might try telling some couples that it would be a big turn on if you could just quitely watch them have sex in a semi-lit room, ask if they want you to talk while they do it okay, etc. - feed their fantasies instead of yours - it's better than chasing them off and you might get further.

[Amanda69]

Some other advice for single men at clubs:

1) Insist that you are the one for me. Then even after being told "I don't think so." Continue to insist you are the one for me.

2) Think that just because I agreed to dance with you that means we are going to "fuck" tonight.

3) Think that just because I talk to you that means that we are going to "fuck" tonight.

4) Tell me that you are here without your girlfriend/partner/wife tonight because she does not agree/like the lifestyle but you came anyway, don't think that will mean I would be interested in playing with you.

5) While we are dancing I really do enjoy when you ASK if you can touch, that is a good thing....however I don't enjoy when you then grab my breasts as though they were pieces of dough and start kneading them at high speed...What is that about? Not a turn on believe me.

6) Wander around the club with your shirt undone, belly hanging out, beer in hand deliberately bumping into women to cop a feel. yeeyucckk.

7) Try talking to me in a normal manner, just like you would at any other place you might meet me. Compliments are fine but try not to make them sound like you have never seen breasts, kissing, dancing etc before, even if you haven't. In other words play it cool.

8) When a couple are having a intimate moment on the dance floor or elsewhere in the "Club" DO NOT stand within 6" of them drooling all over the floor waiting to be invited into the moment.

9) Don't try to act all innocent when the husband is around then try to coax the lady into a situation when he is gone for a bathroom/smoke break. They are there as a couple and decide things as a couple.


10) Be yourself, no need trying to one up yourself against the other guys.

11) Take the time to listen and read the couples body language before you proceed. Just because we are in the enviroment does not mean we are looking for "you" in particular.

12) And then there is something you should never say to a woman at a party or club (and yes this did actually happen to me at a club)

To clarify he had already started off on the wrong foot by telling me that he is married and his wife had not interest in and no knowledge of him being there. He then ask "What is your profession?" before I could answer he said "I mean do you work these parties? You know are you a professional?"

[Dooode]

Originally Posted by Amanda69

To clarify he had already started off on the wrong foot by telling me that he is married and his wife had not interest in and no knowledge of him being there. He then ask "What is your profession?" before I could answer he said "I mean do you work these parties? You know are you a professional?"

[SCcpl40]

Sometimes single men think with one head when they should be thinking with two. That may be where the saying "two heads are better than one" came from. For MFM, it's all about the woman. The seduction of being the center of attention is overwhelming. Keep focused on the objective, which is the woman, don't let the "hard" head cloud your vision which could be either one. The moment it's not about her, you're going down in flames.
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[Hot Raleigh Cpl]

We agree with most of what's been posted so far. One additional think L is adamant about is that the single guy be respectful of me.

Most guys are. But the guys aren't going to get lucky with L if tell her they'll give L what her husband can't, or suggest she sneak off with them behind my back, or the clowns who say stuff like your husband's a cuckold sitting alone while you're out getting some (no kidding, several have said this kinda stuff).

While I have no problem with guys approaching L for fun, it wins them extra points if they approach us both about playing with her. Or if they approach her, but acknowledge me. (stuff like your husband's a lucky man; is he OK with you playing?). Or the guys who begin their approach with me. ("Hi, how are you. Your wife is sexy, is it OK if I ask her to play?")

So, single guys: some ladies want you to acknowledge and be respectful of their husband. Hey, it goes along with the basic theme here: good manners.

S and L, Hot Raleigh Cpl

[BiloxiCouple]

Rules for Married guys would work well for some of them too..

I bet it's interchangeable with this post.

[yogee]

Originally Posted by curiousagain

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To single males AND females seeking couples

#1 NO means NO
#2 No sometimes means not right now. Don't keep going back and asking, though, when they are ready they will contact you. Sometimes you are tested to see if you maintain your manners and pride in the face of rejection.

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You are a great Real-LIfe Teacher

[yogee]

Originally Posted by JnCC

Unless you are bi, or have a specific desire to have sex with another man's wife in his presence, you might find that this is more trouble than it's worth.

[yogee]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

The kind of couples that singles want to meet (in my opinion) are those who don't think singles should "remember their place". Singles are no different than couples, really. The only real difference is they are alone - aside from that, the same rules apply for them as they do for couples: comfort, attraction, chemistry, honesty, etc.

If they are rude, arrogant jerks, their "place" is going to be on the outside looking in... Same as couples who act this way...

If they are respectful, interesting, down to earth types, their "place" is going be a lot of fun to be in... Same as couples...

The problem is, there seems to be, percentage-wise, less single guys who "get it" than there are couples.

Spoomonkey

Well, One more insight into the human behavior and life in general . Nice Spoomonkey..

I think I will have to make a list of fans for Human-Relations advisers and guess from where the whole list will come....

from swingersboard forums , of course

[jdavisauto]

Honesty, respectful to us as a couple, include the male half in the conversations and respect my wife as a person not as a pice of ass. I hate it when a single male comes up and talks to my wife and don't include me. That is a huge deal breaker. She will not play unless I give the OK. Same with me, I will not play without her OK. There is two people in a couple and a single male has to work twice has hard for approval. Now we don't want to discourage single males, my wife loves single males. Just a little knowledge will go a long ways.

I been thinking about writing a book, "The single male guide to Swinging". I think that it would be a best seller.