For HIS Pleasure...

[Spoomonkey]

Okay - I am going to vent...

Like it or not...

Because I need to...

And hopefully someone will chime in and tell me whether or not I am an idiot.

We have been recently looking for single men to add to our circle of friends. We kind of gave up on the clubs for them for a couple of reasons: 1. There are so many couples to choose from! and 2. GOOD single men are pretty tough to find at the club. So we hit the internet with a little vigor.

We found a lot of interest, but since we don't post pictures, it was definitely manageable. But - between all the fakes, married guys cheating and folks who just didn't read our profile - we only found a couple that we were really interested in AND made a connection. I expect to have to weed out the low-lifes...

But here is what is really starting to bother me...

Currently we have three guys with whom we are corresponding. One is going to get the boot here in a second - and another is likely to get the boot in the next day or two. Our fingers are still crossed on guy number three, but our hopes aren't especially high...

Here's why guy number 1 is getting the boot...

He won't curb his locker room talk. When he is IMing me, he is constantly talking about what my wife is going to do to him... Like she is his personal whore... Asking me if she will do this or that - and is she good at it. It is a little bit annoying...

You'd think that a single guy - wrestling against the "anti-single" culture out there would realize that he has to stand out - be a gentleman - and show that he is able to think about something other than himself. "I can go for five rounds!" Great - which one of those do you think she might enjoy there, bub?

The other guy who is likely to get the boot for other reasons, did a similar thing when he asked early on if Mrs Spoomonkey would be able to accommodate a particular fantasy of his...

Well - yeah...

Mrs Spoomonkey is a pretty versatile chick, but we are really hoping to build a friendship within which we feel comfortable sharing fantasies - not just accommodating yours... In fact, we are talking to you because we have fantasies. And while we hope you can accommodate them, it isn't the first thing that we asked. The friendship - the chemistry - those things matter... We aren't offering her up to make you happy...

I don't know - it just seems selfish - and I wonder if these guys ever have any luck...

Men sometimes get a bad rap for being a little selfish in the sack. But - for the most part, the swinger husbands that we have played with are giving, attentive and good at what they do. And the ones who have become friends could likely get just about any fantasy fulfilled that they wanted - because they are priceless playmates...

But this hunting for a single - a GOOD single - is proving to be pretty tough...

Sorry, but grrrr...



Spoomonkey

PS - If you are a single guy, do yourself a favor and READ... Read profiles, this board [especially posts from guys like Eternally Single, The "curious" guys (one's from Texas and one's from Tennessee) and Mephisto - along with other good ones around here that escape my mind at the moment] and anything you can get your hands on... Because some of us are frustrated and would love to find some great single men - if there are any out there...

[DBL D]

Mr. & Mrs. Spoo,

I can only imagine what YOU are going through.

The only thing that keeps us going is knowing that eventually we WILL find a few couples that we can enjoy on every level. Till then...fasten your safety belts.

Male D

[DBL D]

I forgot: You Are NOT an Idiot.

But you've been a little quiet lately.

Da Male

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

We aren't offering her up to make you happy...

I don't know - it just seems selfish - and I wonder if these guys ever have any luck...

Your frustrations seem justified Spoo. I haven't searched for single men, but I have been contacted by them.

Your first line above caught my eye. I wonder if you feel the same way when you are looking for couples - that is, do you and Mrs Spoo think of swinging as a non-recipricol arrangement?

Knowing you and Mrs. Spoo I wouldn't think so. I imagine you want the couple to make you happy, and you want to make them happy too.

I think single males are looking for the same.

When you mention in the second line about being selfish, I understand you to mean the guys are being selfish because they appear to be more concerned with what they will get out of playing rather than what they can give to it. Maybe it's the way theys guys are communicating their desires that is the turn off.

I feel a single male can too easily be thought of as a "toy" rather than a person. If a guy wants to know if you can fulfill his fantasy I don't think that's unreasonable or selfish, it's clarifying interests - we do the same with couples we are considering.

I don't know if this helps you any. If I were in your shoes right now I'd have more to offer, and it probably wouldn't be as kind to single males.

LM

[curiousagain]

Vent away Mr. Spoomonkey, you have every right. I seem to remember some time ago ES talking about writing a book as a guide for the single swinging male. I still think that is a good idea, but I have of late been of the opinion that much greater good would come from lessons in manners, salesmanship, and interpersonal relations. But, then those things cannot be taught quickly or easily. I feel for you, as I have said before, I know some couples who play with single males and the crappola they have to wade through to find good single males, is intimidating to say the least. I understand why some couples who would really like to do that, have just finally thrown their hands up and said forget it, and blocked single males.

Play safe and play careful, it's a big world out there.
Curiousagain
ps: There are many scenic wonders here in my area, I think all this stress is making you and Mrs. Spoomonkey need a vacation. I know someone who would be your perfect guide. Just kidding sort of. LOL

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

Your first line above caught my eye. I wonder if you feel the same way when you are looking for couples - that is, do you and Mrs Spoo think of swinging as a non-recipricol arrangement?

Not at all - but often, other common interests are explored first. With the right single guy, we'd have no problem trying new thing (I mean, how fun!!!) but it is the right out of the box, "does she deep throat?" questions that just really raise my ire. What I meant by, "We aren't offering her up to make you happy", while worded poorly, simply meant that she isn't the single guys play thing - any more than he wants to be ours... Does that make sense?

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

If I were in your shoes right now I'd have more to offer...

Well - I am not sure that you'd have more to offer or not - but I can say this with certainty... You'd be sexy in my shoes

Spoomonkey

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by curiousagain

ps: There are many scenic wonders here in my area, I think all this stress is making you and Mrs. Spoomonkey need a vacation. I know someone who would be your perfect guide. Just kidding sort of. LOL

If you're kidding, we're hurt

Tennessee wouldn't be a bad place to visit at all!

Spoomonkey

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

If you're kidding, we're hurt.

Dito That!

Originally Posted by curiousagain

ps: There are many scenic wonders here in my area, I think all this stress is making you and Mrs. Spoomonkey need a vacation. I know someone who would be your perfect guide. Just kidding sort of. LOL

Actually I love TN . . . we were just waiting for a vacation guide to show us around.

Mrs Spoomonkey

I know exactly what you are going through Spoo-trust me, I've been there.

If a man cannot have an intelligant conversation with both of us that does not include sex or the many aspects of it-he's gone.

I do not like being treated like a whore(until I tell a guy to ). I would say for every 10 who contact us, we chat with one & meet maybe one out of three that get to that point.

Look for profiles that are clear & contain more than "LIKE TO HAVE SEX WANT TO HAVE AS MUCH SEX AS I CAN". *Guys if that is what your profiles say-change them*

I know they are out there, so don't give up!!!

(ps-if you don't have any luck, come on down, & Mr. Naughty will be single for the night) hehe

[LikeMinds321]

If a guy - single or in a couple - used the term "does she deepthroat" he'd be off my list in a second! Discussing common interests outside of sex is the first place I begin to engage potential couples in coversation. If we have nothing in common but an interest in sex, that isn't enough for us.

Now on to better topics. . .

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

. . . but I can say this with certainty... You'd be sexy in my shoes

Spoomonkey

What size do you wear Spoo?

Maybe you can fit into mine as well.

LM

Here's why guy number 1 is getting the boot...

He won't curb his locker room talk. When he is IMing me, he is constantly talking about what my wife is going to do to him... Like she is his personal whore... Asking me if she will do this or that - and is she good at it. It is a little bit annoying...

Good call!

Like mrs naughty already said,
If all they want to talk about is sex we will drop them in the first 5 minutes.

Of course that is what we are looking for. We Already know that about each other. Lets see what else we have in common.

The single men we have met have been the ones who were respectful. Who did not bring up sex first. And if they did they dropped the subject after we said we were not ready to talk about that yet.
But one thing we have found is that some can get awfully clingy.
Mrs naughty is not looking for a boyfriend!

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Mr&Mrs-naughty

(ps-if you don't have any luck, come on down, & Mr. Naughty will be single for the night) hehe

You know - we won't play with married men playing single...

But I think we'd be willing to make an exception

Spoomonkey

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

What size do you wear Spoo?

If I tell you what size I wear, will you then assume that it corresponds to other parts of my body? I think this is a trick question... Like the banana in a box trap that I always used to fall for...

Let's just say that I need an extra wide shoe

Spoomonkey

Hey!!!
Don't I get a say in this????

I feel like a piece of meat! But I think I like it!

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Mr&Mrs-naughty

Hey!!! Don't I get a say in this????

I'm not sure you do...

That's what happens to the good guys, dude...



Spoomonkey