Married male, wife not interested. How do i get involved

[Avanti100]

I have always been interested in the Swinging lifestyle unfortunely i have a wife that doesn't feel the same in fact she doesn't want sex at all anymore.
So how can a guy that does NOT have a willing mate get involved in the lifestyle.I'm 52 years old average build no STD ever.I like to chat and recieve mail so lets talk.

[Pinmonkey]

When you say you don't have a willing mate do you mean that she doesn't want to swing with you, but gives you permission to go ahead and do as you please? Or do you mean she won't know about it and you'll go ahead and "swing" anyway?

Either way, there are website you can join and advertise that a married male is looking to have sex with anyone willing.

[mrbandsatl]

Playing without your willing mate is cheating. And cheating is generally not tollerated in the lifestyle. Do a search for related topics on this board and you will find plenty of advice and opinion - little of it sympathetic to your question.

The real question is why is your wife not interested. Spend your time and energy on your relationship. You will both be better for it.

All IMHO...
Bob

[good times]

If you read the board much you will find many discussions on this topic.

Originally Posted by Avanti100

So how can a guy that does NOT have a willing mate get involved in the lifestyle.

The short answer is, you don't, as the lifestyle is pretty much driven by couples.

Sure their are couples that will play with single males, but let's face it, single males are a dime a dozen so why would anyone play with somebody alone that is married? Here are a few thoughts that go through our mind when we are approached by a person without their spouse. Many guys have a sob story about how their wife isn't interested in sex with them and so forth, but in reality, we hear this and think, if the guys wife doesn't want to have sex with him why would mine? Additionally, as I stated before, with so many single guys available why would we want the added drama of a man with a wife at home? You will also find that the stability of the marriage is one of the most improtant things to most swingers, so the idea that we may be causing distress to a persons spouse, if they found out, is something that most of us want to avoid completely. By the way, this applies equally to maried women.

So you can see with these types of thoughts going through the minds of most swingers, getting into the lifestyle for a married guy whose wife is unwilling is pretty tough.

[Pepper & Drew]

Originally Posted by good times

Many guys have a sob story about how their wife isn't interested in sex with them and so forth, but in reality, we hear this and think, if the guys wife doesn't want to have sex with him why would mine?

Good Times, you hit the nail on the head! I was going to reply, but you said it best.

[Spoomonkey]

Dito to Good Times...

Brilliant and well spelled!

I am sorry for the state of your marriage, but it would be easier to fix things there than it would be to hook up here...

Spoomonkey

[JustAskJulie]

Make a choice. Do you want to be married? Or do you want to swing? If sex with other people is so important to you that you are willing to risk your marriage over it, then go ahead and get divorced now and then try to get into swinging as a real single male. If you determine that your marriage is the more important thing and there is no way your wife would ever be interested, then give it up and decide it's just a fantasy that you won't be fulfilling and focus on your marriage.

[stoutgatte]

Didn't want to reply, since I just know this is going nowhere, but hell you said it well good times....

I dunno about the speeling though Really.

[LIZA]

This sums it up to a tee. In synapis-
1. there are a million single guys. No offense but many are in their 20's and 30's so have that going for them

2. Swingers frown on cheaters. If they want a single man they dont need to compromise their own ethics by helping you cheat, they can easliy find someone else

3. there are some couple who look for single men. but the majority prefer other couples and without a wife you are out in the cold

Harsh reality is, you live with what you got. Life is not fair,no one ever said it was. Ask someone in Iraq or Ethiopia just how freakin' fair life is and maybe you little problem will be put in perspective

Originally Posted by good times

If you read the board much you will find many discussions on this topic.



The short answer is, you don't, as the lifestyle is pretty much driven by couples.

Sure their are couples that will play with single males, but let's face it, single males are a dime a dozen so why would anyone play with somebody alone that is married? Here are a few thoughts that go through our mind when we are approached by a person without their spouse. Many guys have a sob story about how their wife isn't interested in sex with them and so forth, but in reality, we hear this and think, if the guys wife doesn't want to have sex with him why would mine? Additionally, as I stated before, with so many single guys available why would we want the added drama of a man with a wife at home? You will also find that the stability of the marriage is one of the most improtant things to most swingers, so the idea that we may be causing distress to a persons spouse, if they found out, is something that most of us want to avoid completely. By the way, this applies equally to maried women.

So you can see with these types of thoughts going through the minds of most swingers, getting into the lifestyle for a married guy whose wife is unwilling is pretty tough.

[rocketship]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Make a choice. Do you want to be married? Or do you want to swing? If sex with other people is so important to you that you are willing to risk your marriage over it, then go ahead and get divorced now and then try to get into swinging as a real single male. If you determine that your marriage is the more important thing and there is no way your wife would ever be interested, then give it up and decide it's just a fantasy that you won't be fulfilling and focus on your marriage.

Well said Julie

[PAyoungCPL]

Well if you are married and you have your wifes permission i would say you might stand a chance. I know if we should ever choose to meet with a single guy swinging alone and he was married we would want his wifes verbal permission to make sure she knows about whats going on. I would not want to get caught up in the whole mess if she would find out and take it out on us. And the lifestyle is about trust to begin with.