What are you looking for in a single bi female ?

[happy_single_bi]

Thank you all. I had no idea how to start my own intro thread. But here it goes.

If you wish for more background, you may refer back to my introduction from which this originates.

First, I will tell you I have been inundated with responses ...even without a picture on the profile...which I did not expect.

Couples don’t seem to care what I look like…as long as I am breathing…and I find that suspect.

I wouldn’t buy a car sight unseen just because it is a Mercedes, it could be a rusted out wreck! That is just not good business acumen. So I find the correlation very disturbing…albeit in my favor.

Question1: Why do you do that?

Why would couples want to meet someone they haven’t seen a picture of?
Also, many of the couples who have contacted me seem to be rather possessive in nature. They are interested in me becoming..."their"...single-bi female.

Is the desire for exclusivity that common or am I just dealing with wading through the backwater?


Question 2: How can I do that?

I mean ...I am interested in a MMF...how does a single female accomplish that?

My concern is ending up in a circumstance wherein I loose control of the situation in a very unsavory manner. I would like to have fun and not be used…this is the area in my opinion were couples do have the advantage.
The woman knows her mate will look out for her. I do not have that luxury.


It is a bit of a quandary … but I am sure the advice here will be eye opening and interesting at the least.

Always,

[Sexygirltina]

If you are looking for MMF and you are in PA you should go to the Farm. I was there a couple years ago with a couple and there were a bunch of single guys on shore leave.

Here is the link: http://www.farmtc.com/.

You should have no problem arranging a MMF there. But are you sure you want to. I mean maybe I am little shyer than most but even after two years I haven't worked my way up to a mmf.

Tina

[happy_single_bi]

hey tina...I read your posts also... nice to see a kindred spirit.

Yes, it is what I tried when I did give this a go with an ex and I loved it!
He had a bit of a problem with it though. Thank you for the heads up.

Alwyas,

Happy

[HotCoupleGnS]

Howdy & Welcome to the board!

Question 1 = I guess the reason why people do that is b/c you single females are hard to find. I guess after a while some people get a little desperate. No offense to you or anything, but thats probably why they may not care what you look like. In those cases if I was you I would just pass them over. I voted Experience, similar body shapes and similar goals b/c I would want a female we had something in common with.

Question 2 = I have no idea how to go about getting a mfm where you felt safe & in control. I have never had to worry about that b/c hubby was always there. But maybe you could recruit a male friend or 2 that you already have. Otherwise I would look for single swinger males then get to know them first. Good luck with your search, it would be worth it! MFM are great!

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by happy_single_bi

Question 2: How can I do that?

I mean ...I am interested in a MMF...how does a single female accomplish that?

My concern is ending up in a circumstance wherein I loose control of the situation in a very unsavory manner. I would like to have fun and not be used…this is the area in my opinion were couples do have the advantage.
The woman knows her mate will look out for her. I do not have that luxury.


It is a bit of a quandary … but I am sure the advice here will be eye opening and interesting at the least.

Always,

On this question I would say find a good friend or friends that are sexually open and get them to help you out. Either by getting in with a group of swingers (at a club or a private group) and finding people you trust. Or looking at the guy friends you already have and either finding a couple that would be into the idea. Or even if you just had one guy friend that you could trust who could just be there as a chaperone/bodyguard type thing. Then you could set out on your search for single guys via ads or whatever and find a couple that fit your bill. Get to know them a bit first and trust your judgement if there is any reason at all that you feel uncomfortable don't invite them to play. But then if you can find 2 that work and have your male friend there as well for support you should be ok.

[happy_single_bi]

Not to mention a hell of allot of fun! great advice...thank you

[EternallySingle]

I'm a single man, so my requirements for a single female are V*E*R*Y different than a couple or single female would have.

First, last, and always, she would have to be willing to do non-swinging non-sexual things with me occassionally. Yes, by being on a swingers site I'm saying I'm looking for someone to have sex with, but with a little vodka in me and I literally can find that down the street. That way I won't remember all the bad things I know about her or care that I wasn't the first that day (probably that hour...No, I'm not mean, she's proud of that fact but won't touch swinging ) I meant to choose similar body type, but there really isn't a choice for single men thats valid in my opinion. I guess that falls somewhere between willing to be exclusive and similar bodytype and interests.

Now your questions
1)...I don't know. When I was part of a couple, I never used the internet for swinging, only for finding clubs near the cities my girlfriend sent me tickets to. Wasn't neccessary. She was an "old hand" at swinging and a regular at most of the clubs I suggested. She had numerous friends she met at clubs and we really never looked for anyone. That was my mistake. I never had a chance to make my own friends because she had so many willing to play with "her new man." Because of that, when she moved, I was left high and dry. They were her friends and told me so in no uncertain terms.
2)...Be a little creative. Find two men you trust, either at a swing club, your hang outs, or online, and play with them seperately. Let them know you are not "His Girlfriend", but a girl friend. Bring up the idea of a threesome once you KNOW they both can deal with it, then introduce them. It works better if they have similar interest, but different personalities. Guys don't hang out with guys that are just like them. We look for friends that can do something we can't, that way we can always get together and be experts on everything when we go home. LOL Seriously, you will have to give them both a reason to be protective of you without feeling possessive towards you. That means BECOMING THEIR FRIEND!!! I don't know why thats such a foreign concept in swinging, but ask any couple that swings with single men and most will tell you the men are friends, not just stunt dicks. As a single woman, a single man who swings is going to be your best resource because you will have someone who is going to watch your back AND rub it the right way.

but thats just my opinion.

[N&G]

I guess I'll add my opinions here.

Question 1 :

Not everyone considers a picture to be that important. We are an older couple and neither of us is "Barbie and Ken". We don't expect our playmates to be that way and are more interested in the person than the package. Also my personal opinion is that a large percentage of ads by single women are fake so why should I believe a photo anyway.

I don't know why you have met so many possessive couples but I would suspect that they are just as possessive with other couples as well as singles. Keep trying.

Question 2 :

Have you thought about finding a single male partner that you can swing with? This enables you to meet as a couple and if you are comfortable with the people then either of you can meet alone for MFM or FMF. This works very well for couples that enjoy a variety of combinations. It certainly works for me. Of course you need to find a partner who isn't possessive himself.

[happy_single_bi]

Originally Posted by EternallySingle

2)...Be a little creative. Find two men you trust, either at a swing club, your hang outs, or online, and play with them seperately. Let them know you are not "His Girlfriend", but a girl friend.

Seriously, you will have to give them both a reason to be protective of you without feeling possessive towards you. That means BECOMING THEIR FRIEND!!! I

A single man is going to be your best bet because you will have someone who is going to watch your back AND rub it the right way.

but thats just my opinion.

WOW...NOW that is good advice...thank you...

I have been corresponding with one gentleman in the lifestyle, who I really like as a friend ( he is sort of me with balls or I am him with breasts ...whatever... I will take your advise and go for a test drive

He has the same story with a different name. Sort of like __________ (insert name here). I admit I like men... I am bi fun not as my main preference but because women sure do know how to kiss! (I love kissing)

I suspect this will be like putting together any team for business... it is going to take time and some research into peoples specialities.... but what fun research!

Always,


Happy

[happy_single_bi]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

But then if you can find 2 that work and have your male friend there as well for support you should be ok.

isn't that called a MMMF ? foursome or moresome....I don't think I am quite ready for that...YET...

[Sexygirltina]

I am glad that I am not the only one who has approached this like a business project. The only problem is that while I have desired goal and what seems like good team members. My team members don't deliver their portion of the project within the timeline of the project goal. Or they want a million pictures of what the finished project should look like. If this were a real business I would be firing and starting a new team. Despite what I think is a pretty clear objective in my profile I still get the pic collectors, and single men masquerading as couples or married men masquerading as singles. Where do these people come from. HR has done a poor job of pre-screening.
I am on the verge of shelving this project and making another go at being a good girl.

Tina

[BradAndJanet]

Tina, no need to cancel the project just because HR has let you down! Perhaps the method of communicating your requirements should be changed to a more direct, personal one. Internet makes it too easy for the casual wanna-be to appear to be something they're not.

In other words, why not try a club?

-B (love your analogy, if you couldn't tell!)

[EternallySingle]

Tina, I don't think you could be a good girl. You'd probably end up like I was a few years ago. Always distracted, never sure when someone was serious or joking, and going out of your way not to have contact with people you suspect of being swingers by the way they dress or talk or look or breathe or...

well, being good is vastly overrated. Being great is the way to go LOL.

[Elusive BiFem]

Tina, I've been following this thread since the beginning and had a question early on; however, I hesitated to ask and kept hoping the answer would pop up eventually. But just my luck... So now I'm just going to have to risk making a fool out of myself.

Early on, I got the impression you were looking primarily for a couple to team with to visit clubs together. I don't really understand why you are searching for another couple to visit clubs with you? Now keep in mind, I've never set foot in a club, but from what I understand, it just seems that couples that go to clubs would more often than not, want to meet other couples or have the occasional encounter with a relatively unknown single. I don't know...it just seems that you could visit the clubs on your own and find whatever it is you might be looking for. I guess I'm just sort of confused and don't really understand. The other thing I keep thinking...if a couple was interested in what you are looking for, why would they want to visit clubs with you? It seems they might be more interested in a "triad" sort of relationship and that would somewhat negate their interest in you.

I think I've now confused myself even further.

- EBF

[EternallySingle]

Actually, EBF, I THINK I know where she's coming from. She likes going to swing clubs, but doesn't like going by herself. I don't know if she doesn't know or doesn't trust any single men who live near her, or if she wants someone to 'play' with before or after her visit to the club, but she simply doesn't want to go alone. For that reason, she's looking for people willing to go to clubs with her.

And you are right. Most couples are not going to want to go to the clubs with her on a regular basis. Most single men would not either, at least not until they became close enough to know exactly where they stood with each other. "A bird in the hand beats two in the bush" kind of thing.

hmm...thats an English saying and those crazy Brits sometimes call women birds. hmmm....