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exploringRM

For those that participate in MFM encounters

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My wife and I have been swinging for close to 2 years and have always sought out couples. My wife would like an MFM and I guess I'm looking for advice/insight.

 

There have been a few times where it's sort of been an MFM situation with a couple, with my wife playing with the husband and my playmate taking a break. I always feel like a third wheel in that situation. Anyone feel this way and get past it? It does not bother me in a jealous way that I'm left out, but just feel a little lost.

 

Another thing that has been a pain, is that most single guys I've encountered online (or in real life!) are just too pushy for my taste. For example a recent contact I had, I liked his profile, chatted for a bit and seemed like he would be good to meet. Our schedule is really bad and I told him it may be a month or two before we are free. But he keeps chatting asking when we are getting together. This has really turned me off as if he's that way now, how will he be when we meet. This behavior really seems to be my experience with singles. And online they are always so quick to tell me what they want to do, or how well my wife will enjoy them. I have never experienced this type of behavior in couples.

 

And yes, we can always do an MFM at a party with the married half of friends that may work.

 

Also I know there are some on here that feel single guys are not swingers, etc. I'm not looking to turn this into a debate in that area, just looking for other member's experiences that do play with single guys.

 

 

Thanks!

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A lot of single men are still single for a good reason. I played with FWB and FBs before jumping into swinging with my BF. He was a single swinger, so we both had a good bullshit meter to work with.

 

First, look for someone with certifications, the more the better. Some guys have had profiles for years and pissing people off for just as long. Ask other couples for recommendations too.

 

When you find a guy you want to try out look for the following:

1. He can hold a conversations with both of you.

2. He treats both of you with respect, but treats your wife/girlfriend like a precious commodity. It's all about her.

3. He is patient about meeting you two.

4. He never tries to push you two into daytime meetings and can give you a phone number other than his work phone number. *

5. He will ask for 'rules' and preferences before hand. He cares not to offend either of you and to make sure this is a pleasant experience for all.

6. He's not obsessed with his cock and what he is going to do with it. It should be all about her. Its ok to mention it now and then and want to please her though.

7. He must be able to send pics. No pic no meet.

8. He must be willing to meet in a public place or swing club first. Your first meeting shouldn't be a hotel room.

We've been with a handful of great single males. Two of which we met when they had along a female partner but we enjoyed them so much we played with them other times too. Only one guy did we meet as a single male only. He's always been wonderful but we don't get to play with him often.

 

I'm sure I missed a couple pointers, someone else want to chime in?

 

Remember this is about having fun, wait for the right one and it will be worth it.

 

*If he doesn't tell you he is married or attached and can't give you a true phone number and can only meet at certain times (lunch hour) somethings not right. If he is sneaking around her back and lying to her, what will keep him from lying to you two also? That's just how I see it. Most of the suspected married guys seem to have problems with pushiness or rudeness, so for us the possibly married guys get taken off the list very easily for other reasons.

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There is nothing that can be done with a single man or woman that can't be done with a couple. It's a matter of taking turns. There are a lot of things that can be done with a couple that can't be done with a single man or woman. So why put up with the hassle?

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exploringRM said:

There have been a few times where it's sort of been an MFM situation with a couple, with my wife playing with the husband and my playmate taking a break. I always feel like a third wheel in that situation. Anyone feel this way and get past it? It does not bother me in a jealous way that I'm left out, but just feel a little lost.

 

Thanks!

 

I don't understand. An MFM involves two males and a female. The two males are pleasuring the female and the female is pleasuring the male. Neither male should be on the sideline just watching. You are one of the males. I have to say that in that situation I have never felt like I was a third wheel. We did get involved in what was supposed to be a MFM, but the other guy tried to exclude me. I was not there as a cuckold. I was there to participate and help bring great pleasure to my mate. When he did not understand that, I terminated the session. BTW, he was not a single male - he was part of a couple at a house party.

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I'll contrast Alura here and say that my wife and I have had multiple MFMs, and found them to be quite rewarding. It's also easier to find reasonable play partners for an MFM than it is for an MFMF, as there's half the requirements for attraction all the way around. That is, at least for us. For my wife and I, anyone that she's found acceptable I've found acceptable too. Scheduling is often easier for an MFM as well. One less schedule to work into the mix.

 

In all the MFMs we've had, I've never felt like a third wheel. One of my wife's favorite things in swinging is to be having vaginal and oral sex at the same time. I've also found it very pleasurable to just hold her while another man has sex with her, sometimes holding her legs so he has easy access to her, etc. I'm directly involved in MFMs about 95% of the time, and my wife loves it.

 

As for GPHTallCouple's comment "A lot of single men are still single for a good reason" I think I'm going to start a new thread related to that.

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GPHTallCouple said:
A lot of single men are still single for a good reason. I played with FWB and FBs before jumping into swinging with my BF. He was a single swinger, so we both had a good bullshit meter to work with.

 

What are FWB and FB? :blush:

 

 

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I've never felt like a third wheel. I have sat out and just watched, but by choice not by direction of the other male. If you feel lost, I'd suggest you simply find a way to connect with your wife, hold her hand, stroke her breasts, kiss her, lay beside her and tell her how much you love her and how sexy she is as you watch her get laid. My experience is that this will only serve to heighten her experience and allow her to feel more comfortable, more sexy.

 

My wife likes to have many hands on deck, touching her all over, so even if one of us isn't actually participating with her in a more "specific" sexual manner, we are participating in a way to increase her experience.

 

I have kissed her while she's being penetrated, massaged her, and simply held her as mentioned in another post. All experiences were positive and enjoyed by all. Remember the whole body and the mind are a sex organ, looking for ways to stimulate the whole being can be fun and quite rewarding and I'd suggest that two humans focusing on one can provide a lot of opportunity. :D

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First, look for someone with certifications, the more the better.

Gonna have to disagree with you there. We found certifications don't mean shit. At least not on AFF. How? Because we gave people glowing certs or 'testimonials', had the person or couple turn into a complete flakes on later encounters, and had no way of removing them or warning anyone. They wouldn't remove them when contacted either. We often wondered about how many others have certs that are false advertising. Because of all this, we won't give anymore or accept them and generally ignore them.

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Gonna have to disagree with you there. We found certifications don't mean shit. At least not on AFF. How? Because we gave people glowing certs or 'testimonials', had the person or couple turn into a complete flakes on later encounters, and had no way of removing them or warning anyone. They wouldn't remove them when contacted either. We often wondered about how many others have certs that are false advertising. Because of all this, we won't give anymore or accept them and generally ignore them.

 

(him)

 

Agreed AND there are couples (and singles) that don't accept certs ... like us.

 

Now as far as being a third wheel? Nope, just watching her being pleased (if there's no room for me) is exciting. Now if there is room? Well I'm there.

 

We have had a fairly steady male friend for years now, we don't get together as often as we would like but the simple fact he is a nice guy, very respectful in every way keeps us in touch with him.

 

Tell you what too, sometimes finding a nice, decent looking and well endowed (meaning average or above) guys sometimes seems like trying to find the elusive unicorn.

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True on the certifications, it's not a guaranteed that what some couples like will be what you like. It is a good starting point on SLS though, certs on AFF are a joke.

 

If I see a certification on SLS from a couple we know, and we have similar play style, then I am very intrigued to know more about the couple or the guy or the gal.

 

My list is sort of what has worked for us when we went looking. Usually though we meet them at parties in person or through other couples.

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