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I was taking a new look at our profile on SLS recently (it had been a while since we'd really updated it) and I realized that I had been ASSuming that SLS automatically updated ages in your profile, but they don't. They actually rely on US to keep them accurate. :eek:

 

Ours were only off by about 3 years!

 

This did bring up a thought. There are so many times where we hear about people whose pictures don't match their current ages (ie. "those pictures were accurate 10 years ago), I wonder how many times we might think someone is lying about their ages when they really just didn't realize they hadn't updated them in a couple of years.

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Well, NOW our ages are accurate. :blush:

 

Every year I forget they don't update. Then, we end up being understated by one year for about 9 months or so.

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LOL, we try to keep our ages up-to-date on sls - Another site does change the age automatically and funny thing is, we don't list our "actual" birthdays and used 1/1/correct year. This makes us older by 6-9 months and hubby recently took exception to that (being on the verge of the big 5-0 and all).

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We try to keep ours up-to-date, but it usually is a month or so either before or after a birthday that we change them. Sometimes I err on the side of caution and change it a few weeks early if the thought strikes me since I figure I'll forget around the actual date. I always look at people's join date and figure they could be anywhere from the age listed to the age listed + number of years on the site. lol Assuming they told the truth about joining, one never knows...

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mine is totally up to date. that said....i dont really pay attention to someones age. im sure i skim it, but it never really registers. i look at pics and if i'm attracted, great. now, there have been a few times where the pics 100% did not look possible for the age listed....in which case i questioned it, but, eh, whatever.

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My brain does SLS join date + profile info + picture math to get the true ages.

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Funny, we just noticed this on SLS recently and updated it. Hadn't realized they didn't automatically update it. In fact, I can't imagine why they don't.

 

We've met some people from other sites that do update ages automatically and it ended up that they were definitely older than they stated. One didn't look like it, but they let it slip based on how old their kids were and they came clean.

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I had to bump this up after talking to a friend today. We were talking about a couple that are mutual friends and she mentioned that this couple is older than her husband. I was like "What? That's not what their profile says!". She said that she was sure that in talking to them they'd told them they were, she mentioned that she thought the guy was about 57. I looked at their profile and it said he was 47 and she was 45. And then I looked at their join date - 2002. So, if they haven't updated their profile in 10 years, that would put him at 57. Interesting. I have no idea if they haven't updated intentionally, or if they just don't realize.. but I have a hard time they've gone for 10 years and not realized that their ages haven't changed.

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I can imagine someone being 57 and not being technically savvy enough to realize they need to update it. I know lots of people in their 30's who are so technically boneheaded that I doubt they'd notice.

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I can imagine someone being 57 and not being technically savvy enough to realize they need to update it. I know lots of people in their 30's who are so technically boneheaded that I doubt they'd notice.

 

I'm pretty sure that technical savvy is not an issue with this couple. However, I do seriously believe that there are large # of people who just don't realize that SLS doesn't automatically "fix" your age for you. To me it seems like that is just something that should be built into the site.

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I'm pretty sure that technical savvy is not an issue with this couple. However, I do seriously believe that there are large # of people who just don't realize that SLS doesn't automatically "fix" your age for you. To me it seems like that is just something that should be built into the site.

 

Yes! I'm not tech savvy AT ALL, but the people I know who have programmed sites have said it's not a hard feature to include. Makes you wonder why they don't have it on SLS...

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Now we are wondering if people think we are 3-4 years older than the ages we have listed on SLS. We keep our age up to date. but our profile is almost 4 years old. maybe people think we are 50 and 48.

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Interesting! Mrs. Alura and I had a free lifetime membership on SLS but never used the website after signing up. I'm sure I haven't even been on it since before her death, so ours really needs to be updated, if I cared. Nobody ever writes to me though. I guess it doesn't matter.

 

 

Alura

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The older we get the more I want to lie on our profiles.

 

The issue is we DO look about 10 years younger than we are and this isn't some self delusion thing, it keeps getting validated from outside sources.

 

The reason is in part genetic luck, but we are also health nuts to some extent, work out constantly, and have avoided tanning our adult lives. Personally I think the tanning is the biggest factor (being we rarely drink and don't smoke adds to it).

 

When we are at parties or travel events, we normally end up with the 30 year olds but those same ones will ignore our profile with our listed ages (and we don't have face pictures in public).

 

On the other end of the spectrum, after 40 it seems a lot of people decide to say "fuck it" and let themselves go. Thats just not our thing, and its hard to find people in our age range who put the effort in to maintain themselves.

 

I know to some this will sound pretentious or the like, but its frustrating to us.

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Is that your real age or is that your SLS age (to paraphrase Frank Zappa)? I know one woman who believes that it is a God-given right to not tell all. She also believes that a real gentleman would never ask (but has been known to associate with scoundrels).

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Since Mrs. Fours birthday is only two weeks after mine, we always update both within a few days after hers. To us, it is just part of being honest and it forms our opinion in seeing other's profiles whose ages haven't changed since their join date especially when we find out how old they really are.

 

Personally I think this is done in an effort to attract more hits and less then simply not knowing some websites don't automatically update. I mean anyone computer literate to place an ad must also know to expect a site like SLS to be so sophisticated to have this feature would be like expecting their Windows 98 program to still run the latest computer game. This is especially obvious when you notice they have changed other info in their profile over the years, yet somehow missed that their ages are static...hmm :rollseye:.

 

As far as photos, while we are not big on taking regular pics of ourselves, we will try to post the most recent ones we have, no older then a few months to a year and rotate them as needed or if there is the rare significant change in appearance.

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Swingers cruise:

Him: I'm 40 my wife is 42.

 

Day later:

Him: That was back when I was 40.

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Swingers cruise:

Him: I'm 40 my wife is 42.

 

Day later:

Him: That was back when I was 40.

 

Are you trying to say that the cruise took years off of your life?

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In Canada more people seem to use AFF, and it updates your age automatically

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Interesting discussion. We've met a fair number of people who are clearly not the age they post. In our case, my husband purposely describes us as younger because he thinks no one will be interested in us if we post our real ages - especially me. I'm 63, he's 59. He has us listed as 59 and 58. I don't like the deceit, but I don't dare challenge.

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MrsO

 

Your age discrepancy is minimal, but this reminds us of a couple that contacted us on SLS and we met at a local club. Their profile stated 51/50, at the time we were 47/45 so we thought close enough to our age. In reality they were 69/68 a big difference. We were disappointed when we met them, but we were polite and spent some time at the club. We found that most people fib about their age, and location. Is this an indication of other fibs to come after meeting the couple?

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We keep our age and photos fairly accurate (meaning within a year and only not updated due to oversight on our part). We met one couple who said in their profile that they were 50 but on meeting them they confessed that they were 60. Granted, they both looked even younger than 50, but we look for others who are around our age and when we find that someone is stretching the truth in one manor, they usually don't have a problem stretching it in other ways as well (or, for us, this is a :redflag:). In the end, he was married, but not to her. She was his mistress that he worked with and the wife knew nothing about his extra activities.

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We have met couples, too who were clearly 10 years older than what their profile said. Perhaps both of you are right, GoldCoCouple and Softtaild7, if people "fib" about their age, what else are they "fibbing" about? Sometimes, me thinks people try too hard in their profiles, especially when they say they have the most fabulous marriage ever, best sex life ever, all they want to do is spice things up a bit. I don't get it - if the recipe is five stars and tastes great, then why mess it up by adding other ingredients? In our case, not only is the age "stretched," but we try to act as if our marriage is solid. It's not. MrO is convinced that swinging will make everything better, even though everywhere you read and marriage counselors say it won't. A sad state of affairs . . . (no pun intended)

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Swinging is a magnifying glass (sorry for those who have read this before), if a relationship has problems, swinging will only magnify those problems. If a relationship is strong, it can make that relationship that much better.

 

Example:

 

Butter is tasty. So is sugar and cocoa powder. Each by itself is good, but add them together with a little heat and it makes chocolate. If you don't try new things, you never know when you might find something even better. But only if the relationship is very strong and stable. Otherwise adding heat only makes things burn. If you can't be honest in your profile, that is a sign that maybe you aren't being honest with your partner. Pretending something is so doesn't make it true. If you don't have a great relationship, swinging (or just about anything else for that matter) won't make it better.

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