Same Room or Separate Room Swinging?

When we first launched ourselves into this lifestyle, we told each other that we wanted to stay in the same room during a partner exchange. We eventually came to the realization that we had nothing to fear from heading off to separate rooms. We learned something about ourselves -- we trust each other implicitly.

Nowadays, when entertaining a couple at our home or visiting the home of another couple, one of us begins by leading her or his other-gender swap partner off to a play room, leaving the other to give attention to his or her swap-friend. After an hour or so of private intimacy, one of us makes a suggestion, "let's go see what our spouses are doing." This often results in a ménage of four. I suspect the progression from same-room sex into separate-room sex happens to many couples.

~Michael

Well...

Trixie and I have only swung a few times with one couple and each time we did it we were in the same room. I think I can speak for us both when I say that we prefer same room swapping. Being able to look over at Trixie and see someone pleasing her, or vice versa, is such a turn on. Plus, in close quarters, being able to reach over and touch her is great as well!

I'm not sure I would be comfortable at all with Trixie running off to another room with someone. Nor would I want to leave her to scamper off with someone else for that matter.

Speed.

Our experience so far is limited to same room; however, we are open to and have agreed that opposite rooms are an option in the future.

Until recently our only answer and experiences were for same-room only except with the latest couple we have become good friends with. Separate is their preferable method of play and we are comfortable enough with them to have bent our rule.

While it does seem the more experiences in the LS, the more likely rules go by the wayside and certain changes seem enviable, but while we might do separate with future couples as well we still prefer same-room as the whole point of play is to enjoy watching the other's reactions.

Until recently our only answer and experiences were for same-room only except with the latest couple we have become good friends with. Separate is their preferable method of play and we are comfortable enough with them to have bent our rule.

While it does seem the more experiences in the LS, the more likely rules go by the wayside and certain changes seem enviable, but while we might do separate with future couples as well we still prefer same-room as the whole point of play is to enjoy watching the other's reactions.

Ya, us too. I don't want to be in a situation that the first I know that the wife is uncomfortable, is after the fact, or when I hear her saying something from another room.

straight up, we prefer same room.we wouldn't have it any other way.we are just to excited about each other.

 

honestly,we were talking about this yesterday.i doubt things will ever change.

 

mr.fun

Us too, Love to see each other having fun.

Either. Same mostly, separate some. Both have sexy advantages.

Separate room is the very strong preference here (red alert!).

 

Like another mentioned, there is the anxiety of equipment comparison and then the distraction element. How people can have sex while doing this and that, having conversations with others in the room, etc. is beyond me.

I couldn't agree with this more. Same room is usually awful, same bed is a deal breaker if my aversion to that isn't overwhelmed by hotness, which has happened recently.

I like to pay attention to the woman I'm fucking instead of looking around the room at other people. I consider it courtesy, and I don't like it if she's looking around the room.

We still prefer , at least starting, in the same room. If we are comfortable with the other couple and one of us would like to leave the room, we always ask "are you OK out here"? When one of us asks that, we know the other wants to leave the room. It does not interrupt play and lets the other know what is going on.

New in 2014 we really became comfortable with separate room experiences.

Neither of us will ever play separate, neither in separate rooms, nor separately.. never.

We've started in the same room and then separated, started separate, and been in the same room the whole time...all is good! But the preference leaned towards same room because that's what USUALLY happens...so that's how I answered!

Same room is probably our favorite but it really depends on the mood and what feels natural at the time.

I enjoy watching my hotwife way to much to play seperately and yes I do not pay exclusive attention to the other wife but we enjoy more than partner swapping. We enjoy 4 some play were everyone is involved some how especially the women enjoying each other and MFM and FMF positions. Cant do this in separate rooms with another couple

80% same, 10% seperate, and 10% hall passes

... we were separated and i found it easier for me. I don't like my fiance watching me enjoy sex with another man. I can't get get into it. I also have a guilty feeling of being with another man in front of him. He says it does not bother him. it does not bother me to be in the same room with him and another girl, but i can't watch him because, yes it do get a little jealous. Especially when he is making her moan and groan. I rather for us to go do our thing with the person and share stories afterward....

Hi, this is Petra reporting. Our start was unusual in that my boyfriend (then fiance then husband) let me continue the sexual relationship I had with my ex-fiance, Red. It's strange, but for me it felt natural and I didn't feel guilty about it at all, just loved. I didn't consider it swinging at the time and would have thought it weird if hubby watched, so it wasn't just separate rooms but alone play for me. Hubby didn't play with anyone because I was extremely jealous, until I had my epiphany (another story entirely). Now he has a girlfriend too (actually, she is both of ours). As things stand now, our poly Z foursome plays alone or together in any combination except Red&Clair and MM, whatever the situation allows.

Anyway, all of the points you hit are valid, even though none of them ever involved guilt. What used to be jealousy is now a turn-on, but it is also a distraction to see hubby and Clair enjoying themselves. If I am screwing Red at the same time and they are near orgasm or just doing something wild, I can't cum at the moment so I watch and continue to enjoy the ride. I have no problems with hubby or my boyfriend watching me with the other or with Clair. Hubby enjoys watching me and Red, but Red does not. Also Red wants me "fresh," while hubby doesn't mind sloppy seconds, so whenever it is just hubby, Red and me, Red always goes first while hubby watches then Red leaves the room and hubby takes his turn. Red does like DP, however, because it is the only time he gets to put it in my bum.

Two other thoughts for beginners' jealousy: kiss you spouse as he/she is screwing someone else, extra nice if you do it during orgasm. Bonus points if you kiss while both are copulating with someone else. Also, after hubby started having sex with Clair I found it very therapeutic to lick her out and suck his dick afterward; part of "reclaiming" sex.

OK, enough. Long-winded Petra signing off from Polyland.

Same room for us, but there are a couple times we played separate.

When we first voted in this poll, we preferred same room. Now, I'd have to say we find both options equally acceptable.

Definitely same room for us!

Either

It all depends for us.

When we have foursomes we normally play in the same room. We enjoy the sounds and sights of watching each other. Alos, it seems that most of our partners enjoy same room as well.

When my wife has a lover over, we both prefer that I stay in the room with them, watching first and then taking part as they begin to slow down.

But we sometimes get in moods where we'd rather be off by ourselves, and we're both fine with it if it turns out that way. And if our partners want it that separate rooms, we almost always agree.

I prefer same room and my wife prefers separate rooms. She gets to win usually, weonly really play with one couple. On the few ocasions we played as a small group in the same room it was cear she did not enjoy herself. Swinging is about enjoying oneself.

I prefer separate rooms for concentration purpose. Same room is fun if there is intercouple play. I enjoy touching or rubbing my wife while she is with another, as long as she is in an early play stage and not needing to concentrate. I go much faster than my wife, so play together is not synchronous.

We both love group sex and so for most of our swinging years, we were a same room couple. We met a couple this last year who were new and uncomfortable about playing with someone else in front of each other, especially the wife. We'd only gone off separately at a few house parties so it was somewhat new territory for us but we really liked this couple and Mrs Doc felt very safe with the husband. It was REALLY different for us but we both found that we enjoyed how much more intimate the sex was especially since I could hear her with him just down the hall and she could hear us. So our answer to the question is both depending upon the circumstances.

We almost always play in the same room, but lately we have experimented with separate rooms. I know that he loves to watch me with other men or couples, but I wanted him to feel like he could focus on his own pleasure. We were recently at a house party and he was getting the attention of two ladies on the couch in a back room. I left him alone and moved to another space with some friends. I returned about 30 minutes later and it was hot to see him curled up with his new friends. He was gently kissing one woman while the other was slowly riding his cock. He had no idea I was watching and I could tell he was completely immersed in the experience in a way he would never do if he knew I was there.

When my wife and I are together playing, there's a lot of same room time to watch and appreciate one another. That's because we often play alone or one of us is with another couple for scheduling convenience.

Same room. To us, to go the separate room route would be like going to a lot of effort to have sex with one sex partner that we could have stayed home and had with each other that we would have enjoyed more. What swinging offers to us is the opportunity to have sex that can't be done with only two people.

My wife prefers separate rooms and I used to be a same room swinger. We really only play with two couples. One couple more frequently than the other and separate rooms has always been the rule. With our other friends we have done both same and separate rooms. Two weeks ago we met up with these friends and on night one we did same room. Night two was separate rooms and it was delightful. I listened to Amy enjoying lovemaking with Steve, telling him how it felt, sighs, little moans and  gasps as she took his 9 inches in and out of her pussy. Imagining what was going on was as big a turn on for me as seeing it live. Separate room =s allow each couple to go at their own speed and  try fun things without an audience.  

I think that separate rooms may become the norm with both sets of friends. 

I prefer separate rooms. I like to be quiet and focus. Laughing, giggling, talking disrupts my concentration. We have a second bedroom near our bedroom. we often split up that way. You can hear faint sounds of the other couple, which is sexy, but it is not a distraction.

We have been with couples who are very creative as a foursome and I will stick around for that!

I'm ok with same room or separate, depending on context.  In my case, I noticed it usually come in stages.  For example, in an mfm situation, if the man is someone totally new, I prefer a same room play so SO or BF can check me out while I play 1-1 with him.  If there is a repeat play (or the guy is someone I know), a separate room would be nice so the man and I can play and explore more intimately without an audience.  Some guys become self conscious if the SO is there watching.  Once comfy,  then we go back to same room, and that is the time show off!  If it is a couple, same room is the standard, unless we all agree to try separate rooms for each pair.