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Hello, me and my wife are interested in the poly lifestyle. But we just don't know how to go about it. We live in a area of Western North Carolina and we can't find any groups or gatherings in this area. We have had an open relationship now for 2 years. So we are new to the idea. If anyone has any ideas let us know. Thanks

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Hello, me and my wife are interested in the poly lifestyle. But we just don't know how to go about it. We live in a area of Western North Carolina and we can't find any groups or gatherings in this area. We have had an open relationship now for 2 years. So we are new to the idea. If anyone has any ideas let us know. Thanks

 

Well, if you're looking on sls, it might help if you have a couple's profile.

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Well, if you're looking on Swing Lifestyle, it might help if you have a couple's profile.

 

It was a surprise to us also to see a male only profile on SLS if you are looking for a poly relationship.

 

Personally we are not into a poly lifestyle yet, it is more fun and less working at it to just be swingers.

 

---------------------------------------

Laisse Les Bon Temp Rouler

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We are not poly, yet. We are a married couple, I'm (the Mrs) bi and he's curious. We're open to poly occurring if it were to come up. We're not actively seeking, but if it happens it happens.

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I'm not yet, but very, very, close. I'm in love with two wonderful Ladies and they are in love with me. I don't know how it will play out, but I'm game for it and very excited.

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Just want to bump up this thread. Anything or anybody new lately?

 

I have my own reasons for that and some of you probably know that.:) Trying to figure out how to make everything work between me, my husband and my BF...:D

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Hi, this is Petra. Although I dislike the poly label, I will admit that I am in a poly relationship but hubby is not. The relationship with my boyfriend, Red, began when I was a virgin and continues to this day... Red is devoted to me and is not seeing or screwing anyone else. David, my now husband, knew all along about the relationship and loves me so much he said that if it made me happy, he had no problem with it continuing.... For the first couple of years of marriage David was monogamous (at my urging), then began several serial, no-emotion sexual relationships with other women (also at my urging).

 

 

 

Hello, Petra again. I came across this post and feel compelled to update. Since we found Clair, hubby no longer swings. We are both in love with her. So the four of us are now in a closed poly relationship, although Clair and Red are not sexually involved.

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Hi, Petra

You have probably noticed my posts once in a while. I can see you mastered very nice quad relationship in your poly family and sounds like everybody is happy.You are a wise,smart woman.

In my situation there are some changes in air and I could feel them. We are becoming closer with my BF, we want spend more time together. I just tear myself apart trying to be in two places same time and pay attention to both without affecting the other.I have deep respect and understanding in my primary relationship and intoxicating chemistry in the other. Hubby is scared that having that much connection with my BF would harm our relationship in general because it will use up too much my emotional resources.

We don't want to be out as a poly to our kids( we have 4 kids from 4-19years old) and extended families. At some point I thought if we will refrain from public affection we could all live happily in the same house,we would just say he is our friend living with us for a while to save up money for downpayment, I guess silly me.

How do I make my husband to share me more freely without hurting him?Do you think they should get together and talk, BTW they are both bi and enjoy exploring each other sexually.How do I move forward?My BF offered going away for couple days together(me and him). I would love to do it but have no idea how to present it to my hubby. He is still very possesive of my emotional part.

What a family huh?

Everybody welcome to participate in discussion...:)

Thanks. Mrs. Wisconsin

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Hi, Petra

I can see you mastered very nice quad relationship in your poly family and sounds like everybody is happy.You are a wise,smart woman.

Thank you for the compliment, but I have no great wisdom. I attribute our success and happiness to luck that we have found one another to fall in love with and that the relationship pieces just fit (Clair pretty much lives with hubby and me; my bf is a loner that I visit). The only credit to give us in this relationship is that we are all responsible and treat each other respectfully as adults. I don't mean that with regard to sex. It's just that we give each their freedom to do individual things (like buy bottled water when the other thinks it's a waste, etc.). Think of all the couples you know where the guy tries to control the woman and the woman nags the guy.

 

For what it is worth, I will give you my advice knowing that it may not be worth much. First, take a deep breath and consider how lucky you are to bask in the love of two men that care for you so. (It's a thought that thrills me every day.) I'm sure you feel, as I do, that your love for one does not diminish your love for the other. You need to make certain that your husband feels the same, that your love for your boyfriend does not diminish your love or attention for him. This is not intended to be a ruse or a trick, it is a truth that needs to be communicated and demonstrated.

 

 

The idea of going away with your bf should probably wait until later. From what I recall of your posts, you and hubby both have playmates you play with separately and sometimes he joins you and your bf for an MFM and that they engage in bi play. So it seems to me that the three of you spending time together would be the best thing. It seems like most men enjoy the MFM and in that way you can make him feel comfortable that he's not losing you in any way. (I have found it especially satisfying to kiss my husband while he is screwing Clair. It is almost the highest form of love we can give each other - that I love you as you are copulating with another.) Finally, although it may be difficult to have someone take care of the children, try to arrange it so the three of you can go away on a holiday weekend. And yes, definitely have him move in with you, maybe just starting for brief periods of time and see how it goes. It wll be a WONDERFUL family! And when all is going well and your husband is comfortable, your boyfriend should ask your husband if it is OK to ask you to go away for a couple of days. If your husband doesn't like the idea he is left with the thought that his wife is a desirable woman and this guy is overreaching a bit, and NOT with the idea that his wife is the one trying to get time with her boyfriend.

 

 

Good luck and keep us posted.

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I am single,but poly is something I think I can be open to.I do feel kind of jaded about the vanilla singles meat market,and want to find something fun...but more satisfying to me.Also I get hit on alot by "attached" men that are not swingers...and I'm really getting tired of that.If they don't swing...I don't see why I should get involved with that.

I think I could consider swinging and poly,both to some extent.I don't feel I'd fit into bdsm.I do not see myself as totally a vanilla.

One thing about poly or seeking poly-there don't seem to be that many polys around compared to vanilla,swingers,or bdsm enthusiasts...or I just don't know where poly community is in my area.

It feels frustrating looking for poly dating,or meet/greet,or pro-poly religious groups.

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Big Nikki here.

 

Although I cleave fiercely to my John, I could see myself in an FMF poly marriage. (MFM, no; FMF, yes.)

 

-- Big Nikki

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My marriage is absolutely wonderful!!!!!!!!!!! I love both of my wives so much, and they have moved mountains and made huge sacrifices to make our love a reality, that I am way more certain of their love and devotion than I ever was during my vanilla marriage..

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Bumping this thread to see if there are any currently active members that are in a poly situation, or have been in a poly situation in the recent past. :)

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We were in an N formation before we moved... That just kind of fizzled since she wasn't willing to have a LDR. :)

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Oops.. I meant to explain and then got distracted! An "N" is when there are two couples who are linked by one person from each dating. So it was my husband and me and my girlfriend and her husband. She and I were the link between the two couples.

 

Although in my case it was more confusing since we also swung together so all of us were sexually involved and really good friends.... Yeah. It was fun. :)

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I will say that our marriage is coming around to it, specifically creating a triad. Me, my wife, and my best friend are discussing it as they have strong feelings for each other. But we're still actively swinging for now.

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Wow - feel like I have just landed on my home planet here. Amazing. To find my own situation discussed so openly and interestingly. I read several opinions that this lifestyle seems to take a lot more work on an emotional level and at the beginning of my own experience I agree. It was an adjustment (mostly dealing with stereotypical, male ego issues instead of any problems involving ownership) but we got through it pretty quickly and have been incredibly happy ever since. The two men in my life have grown very close - closer than family and have even discussed approaching a lawyer as to whether or not there is some form of legal contract they could have drawn up that would give them a sort of family rights in cases of emergency in regards to each other and myself.

 

Anyway - wonderful thread.

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Now that I think about it, I guess we are more poly with our best friend than swingers. We both really like him very much and it is more than just the sex. He and I are both Bi so I sometimes play with him alone or with my wife watching which she likes to do, she sometimes plays with him alone, and all three of us play together in threesomes. We have been playing with him since the mid 80s, and there has never been any jealousy by any of us, so it does seem to be more poly than swinging.

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I'm very new here, and came as a poly fellow interested in exploring the lifestyle. I've been married for 20 years, and spent the last 9 years slowly getting into polyamory. I have a lovely girlfriend and my spouse has a boyfriend. My spouse is done adding others to her life right now, but I'm open to new relationships (romance or just play).

 

Here in Connecticut polyamory seems much less common than swinging. My impression is that the situation is reversed (or both things are more evenly balanced) on the west coast.

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I'm very new here, and came as a poly fellow interested in exploring the lifestyle. I've been married for 20 years, and spent the last 9 years slowly getting into polyamory. I have a lovely girlfriend and my spouse has a boyfriend. My spouse is done adding others to her life right now, but I'm open to new relationships (romance or just play).

 

Here in Connecticut polyamory seems much less common than swinging. My impression is that the situation is reversed (or both things are more evenly balanced) on the west coast.

 

How long have you and your girlfriend been together?

 

I have found that a lot of people around here don't use the term "swinger" even when they are doing what we would generally consider swinging, so I have met more self-proclaimed polyamorists than I have self-proclaimed swingers. I'd say activity-wise, however, it's probably pretty equal. That's just my experience, though.

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My girlfriend and I have been together about ten months. We date pretty regularly (most Tuesdays, and the occasional Thursday or overnight). We also work together :eek:, so we see each other a lot.

 

At risk of getting you into controvercial waters, what do you see as some of the differences or nuances between the swinger and poly communities where you live? You have mentioned that you like the poly community more where you are.

 

I ask because I really haven't found either community yet where I live. Part of that is due to me-- I have a number of interests (scuba, biking, astronomy, etc.) that take a lot of my time and don't bring me into contact with many poly or swinging folk. I am not party oriented, either. I do socialize with the Burning Man community (even hit up some orgy events in BRC), but I have not yet joined what I felt was a 'community'.

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My fiance and I are both poly, and pansexual, we were part of a MMFF relationship until just recently. Now we are in more of a MFM triad situation (although I sometimes play with her boyfriend). She is very new to everything when it comes to both sex and relationships. She's more part of the poly scene than swinging currently, although our home community is more the BDSM scene, where there seem to be a number of poly people and swingers. Yay for overlapping communities! :D

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My wife and I are Poly and have been for a few years. Together we are in a Triad, but we have separate partners as well. I have 3 Gfs and she has a BF and a GF

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If the situation comes up and everyone gives it a green light, I'd be happy to give and have more love in my life and be in a poly relationship!

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I would say I could be poly. I think husband would say poly-ish. He likes the connections and crush type feelings but doesn’t want it to be any further than that.

I think with the right couple I could take it to the next level.

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On 9/5/2006 at 11:00 AM, JustAskJulie said:

We've seen a couple of posts already from some folks coming out with their "polyness". I'd like to hear from the rest of you who feel that you are are polyamorous. What is your relationship set up? Are you currently in a poly relationship, were you previously, or are you hoping to be?

So I think we might be Polyamorous, my husband and I started swinging three years back with a couple of our, at the time Vanilla, friends.  Julie and Adam had been our friends for a few years, and when they inquired about swinging with us we decided to give it a shot.  We have continued to swing with them for three years now and we have all started to develop feelings for each other.  Back in March they sold their home and were in between houses as theirs wasn't ready yet, so they moved in with us, then Covid hit and their place fell through and the real estate market was shut down in PA due to it not being categorized as essential.  We have not minded having them around though, its actually been nice. And honestly at this point you cannot see where one couple starts and the other begins.  We are all affectionate with each other and we all have sexual relationships with each other.  This morning my husband left early, and Julie came in and climbed into bed and woke me up with kisses and some very much needed oral sex, which I happily reciprocated.  I got up and got in the shower, Adam came in and I pulled him into the shower with me and we had sex.  Last night my husband had sex with Julie and me.  We have never discussed what we are but it feels like I am married to my husband, Adam, and Julie and I know it feels the same for Julie.  

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We are Polyamorous with our friends-turned-lovers August and Pauline.


August and I are in love and we can’t imagine our lives without each other now. We are exclusive to one another and are committed to no one else other than our spouses. We see each other as our significant other or lover or boyfriend/girlfriend. We never publicly address each other as husband and wife. Though sometimes we feel and act that we are and we recently have had a baby together.

 

My husband had originally given me the OK to go and have sex with another man of choosing. At first I wasn’t interested as I didn’t want one night stands or casual sex. I wanted romance, I wanted to go on dates and fall in love. August and Pauline were short-lived swingers who didn’t feel secure in that lifestyle. I always had some minor attraction towards August. I have always felt guitly for that as I was married and so was August. But at one point, I felt the need to get it off my chest and told Phil and Pauline seperately at different times. Both took it well and appreciated my honesty. They trusted me not to do anything behind their backs. 
 

They were at our house one day when we ended up confiding our secrets of (potential) extramarital activities to each other. Pauline then suggested that I should date August instead. I remember blushing furiously at that. August and Phil agreed as it would be with someone they at least knew and trusted.

 

At the time I was still unsure but after two weeks of encouragement and reassurances that as long as everyone was honest, it would be fine. It didn’t work out then it didn’t work out and we would all still be friends. But it did work out and now everything is for the better.

 

My husband and Pauline however are more akin to fuck buddies/friends with benefits. They’re close but they don’t look to each other for romance.
 

After two years as a couple, the four of us decided to live together in the same house. Four adults and five children. The kids are still small but know and understand to some extent what’s going on and how its different from the rest. We love Pauline and August’s two children and they are really fond of us, calling us aunt and uncle. The same can be said for our two children and Pauline and August.

 

Sometimes I would sleep with August while Pauline sleeps with Phil. But I slept exclusively with August from the time I was trying to concieve his baby to one month after giving birth. We all thought it best that the expectant mother and father share the same bed.
 

I never expected my life to end up this way. But now that it has, I don’t want it to change it. I love my husband, I love my significant other, I love my dear friend, I love all five of my children. Pauline and I intend to each have one more baby before we get too old. But that isn’t a sure thing.

 

I wish to anyone and everyone reading this a good day.

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