Bi guys - hot or not?

Tia Vampire said:

If I found out that my man was bi, I think,I would probably lose all respect for him.

Well Tia, I would have to say Dito on this part...........

I know for Mrs. Menage and myself we both tease Mr. Menage about using a strap on on him when we think he needs to be punished LOL - BUT in all seriousness - if he was bi or into other men - for us we would loose ALL respect for him as a man. That is just us. Mrs. Menage and I are both Bi and love other woman however, we both strongly agree nothing beats a man in the overall satisfaction department.

New Slut Dress - $59.00

New Ho Shoes - $79.00

Entrance to Hot New Swing Club - $100.00

Two men together - totally mood killer - SOOOO NOT A MASTERCARD MOMENT!

The Other Mrs. Menage

There are several posts here that state in one way or another "I would lose all respect for my man if I found out he was bi."

I ask, "why?" Why would you lose all respect for him?

We're a both bi cpl...have done the MMF with another bi male. Wife get extremly turned on while watching 2 guys in a 69 ;-)

WesternSwing said:

There are several posts here that state in one way or another "I would lose all respect for my man if I found out he was bi."

 

I ask, "why?" Why would you lose all respect for him?

Good question, WS. I'd like to hear the answer as well.

WesternSwing said:

There are several posts here that state in one way or another "I would lose all respect for my man if I found out he was bi."

 

I ask, "why?" Why would you lose all respect for him?

I agree completely. I don't think it is any less natural for a man to be bi-curious than it is for a woman....it is just a prejudice society has placed on it.

Menage_a_Trois said:

I know for Mrs. Menage and myself we both tease Mr. Menage about using a strap on on him when we think he needs to be punished LOL - BUT in all seriousness - if he was bi or into other men - for us we would loose ALL respect for him as a man.

I would like to ask why you feel this way?

I'm just curious, I don't want you to feel like I am judging you in any way, because you are absolutely entitled to your opinion. I just don't see how it is seen as "natural" for a woman to love making love with men and women, but so unnatural, and "dirty" when a man thinks the same way. Men think about sex what, 10 times more than women??? Do we really think that all that thinking about sex is just about having sex with women? I'm curious about that. Anyways, ya'll all have a great day.

This all boils down to what i've been saying for years.. If it feels good, do it! I'm a married bisexual married man, and my wife understands my feelings and we both enjoy the scenario with other guys. Now don't get me wrong; I enjoy women much more than I do men, however to be honest, when I can have both, it makes it so much more enjoyable for us.

It would seem to me that if both partners are comfortable exploring this issue, then by all means explore it..But don't keep secrets from your partner. Exploring same gendered sex is still cheating if you are doing it behind your partner's back...Just the way I look at it.

It never ceases to amaze us at the number of guys that will admit to us when they respond to our SLS ad, that they are bi curious...even though they are listed as straight....we've met one or 2..lol...one was genuine. He was a kind and considerate gentleman and we enjoyed his company very much. The other was a complete asshole...and only said he would consider bi, just so he could get at my wife's pussy..didn't take us long to put him out the door.......Now it would have been fine if he hadn't lied to us, but he did and I can't handle a liar.

So there you have it.....talk to your partner and decide together if this is something you want to explore...Try it...you might like it...and if you don't, chalk it up to experience..

WesternSwing said:

There are several posts here that state in one way or another "I would lose all respect for my man if I found out he was bi."

 

I ask, "why?" Why would you lose all respect for him?

Got to Dito this as well...what the hell does a man's sexual preference have to do with who he is as a person?

Teresa

I don't mean any disrespect in any way, but you asked me to tell you my reasons why I'll lose respect for my man. If men were able to have babies, the world would come to an end because of the pain they would have to go through during labor. Now if you can't stand that pain, why would you want a dude inside of you. It might just be me, but I don't understand the logic in it.

Tia Vampire said:

I don't mean any disrespect in any way, but you asked me to tell you my reasons why I'll lose respect for my man. If men were able to have babies, the world would come to an end because of the pain they would have to go through during labor. Now if you can't stand that pain, why would you want a dude inside of you. It might just be me, but I don't understand the logic in it.

Not to argue with, or pick-on you, but so far you are the only one that has offered any answer to this question.

Your answer is assumes bi-play between men has to do with intercourse rather then just oral or other activities (bi sex with women usually only includes oral and other activities). So this still doesn't answer the question: why would a man being bi cause you to lose respect for him?

And as a follow-up question to continue the discussion: what does this loss of respect encompass?

I guess I'm looking for an answer beyond the emotional knee-jerk reaction. I'm looking for the intellectual answer.

I had similar experiences growing up. With male friends as teenagers and earlier, 'pleasuring each other'. Mainly just sucking or jerking each other off, while sneaking dad's Playboy's or whatever, no kissing, touching, penetration, or anything like that. But around 14 that stopped.

Fast forward several years later. Wife and I had a pretty wild time w/a friend of ours. We had had 1 swingning experience previousely, a few years before. We were staying w/this friend while we found a new home, we stayed there for almost 2 months. After a few weeks there we were drinking and having fun one night. Well one thing led to another and we all ended up in his bedroom, and had a threesome. This continues, almost EVERY night. And it just got better, one night we were fucking for like 4hrs.

Anyway after the first couple times, we all relaxed quite a bit more. I was on top of my wife, and he was lying next to her kissing her, sucking her tits, and I kept feeling his cock rubbing against my hand. So I thought he was trying to give me a hint. I started stroking him. So the next couple times we were doing this to each other. She caught on and it was turning her on. So one night one thing led to another and we went down on each other while she watched. Then we actually ended up taking it further and went all the way. She really got off on it. I would've never thought in a million years she would get turned on by that, but she did.

Now fast forward again, and our marriage is in the toilet (not because of this), and I'm kinda wanting to try it again, w/another guy. But in no way could I ever imagine wanting a guy over a woman, or doing anything "affectionate" w/a guy.

I don't mean any disrespect in any way, but you asked me to tell you my reasons why i'll lose respect for my man.If men were able to have babies,the world would come to an end because of the pain they would have to go through during labor.Now if you can't stand that pain, why would you want a dude inside of you.It might just be me, but i don't understand the logic in it.

This is such an astoundingly hilarious stereotype...IF men were physiologically and anatomically built to bear children then OF COURSE they would be able to bear the pain of childbirth. Plus your assumption that men as a gender cannot bear a finite amount of excruciating pain is both disrespectful to those who deal with it on a daily basis and has nothing to do with their sexuality or whether they deserve respect as a person. If you are saying that bisexual men are unworthy of respect, I would have to ask you to logically explain the connection between their sexuality and how they conduct themselves and live their lives.

You initially state that you would lose respect for YOUR man, which is your own personal issue and I have no quarrel with but then to base that lack of respect on an completely irrelevant and irrational stereotype is appalling, especially when you are accusing ALL men of this supposed flaw.

I was surprised and a little disappointed to see the disrespect comments from some of the people here. In a group like this were sex is for fun, and do what makes you happy kind of lifestyle, I was shocked to see such close mindedness about bi sexuality in men. I admit, I do not find it a turn on at all. But if Dog came to me and said he was interested in giving it a go. I would support him completely. I may not enjoy it, but he has to explore his desires as do we as women. I am not bi or bi curious but Dog is willing to support me if I would like to try it. Why should he not be given the same?

I was answering Mr.Westerswing on why I would lose respect for my man because he called me out. If I offended anyone in anyway, I didn't mean to. I was just answering a question that he asked, and thought that I made it clear that I didn't mean any disrespect in any way. Just like your entitled to your opinion, I'm entitled to mine.

Tia Vampire said:

I was answering Mr.Westerswing on why I would lose respect for my man because he called me out. If I offended anyone in anyway, I didn't mean to. I was just answering a question that he asked, and thought that I made it clear that I didn't mean any disrespect in any way. Just like your entitled to your opinion, I'm entitled to mine.

I think the people here thought you would lose respect for your man if HE was saying He was bi curious, not you.

I think we have misunderstood your post.

Well personally, I've lived a hetero life for 37 years, and have been a practicing bisexual for 9 years. Strictly talking Kensey Scale, I'm split right down the middle as a "3". In practice, there's nothing I wouldn't do with an attractive man that I wouldn't also do with an attractive woman .. although spiritually, I lean toward the woman as a life mate.

Hot or not? Who cares. I'm happy and that's what counts.

I do run into some prejudism and ignorance in swing society tho. Some people confuse bisexuality with being gay and that irks me. They are NOT the same.

In some ways, being a bisexual male is kinda like being between a rock and a hard place in today's world. I go chat to heteros and they say "you have sex with guys?!?? Eww!". I go chat with gays and they say "you have sex with women?!??" Eww!". My only consolation is that there are enough bicouples in the area that I usually can stay pretty busy and not have to think about it too much.

My dream wife would be the one who accepts me for who I am. Unfortunately, all the women that do are currently married!

At least that doesn't mean I can't have sex with them. God bless swingers!

haha

Decidedly Hot. I (the wife) discovered I was bi in my late 20's and had a really good time exploring that. I was also a "fag hag" so was always intrigued by the "act" between men.

Then 5 years ago I met my hubby and I believe he's a closet Bi. Similar experiences in his youth and enjoys my playing around down there.

We recently met a couple who are both Bi and hubby shied away at first but now that we have met them, he's changed his tune. I am sooooo looking forward to a night with this pair. Talk about hot...

I'll let you know how it goes.

It's been seven days now and this thread seems to have died down. Although someone could simply say "between men, bi play is not a turn-on for me" and leave it at that, nobody has been able to defend the comments made by some that finding out their husband or boyfriend was bi would cause them to lose all respect for them. I am assuming then that such comments were made as emotional knee-jerk reactions and not as intellectual, rational, well thought-out, and supportable opinions and or facts.

I hope this shows that as TNT and a couple others have echoed, sexual preferences has nothing to do in the big picture of who someone is as a person.

WesternSwing said:

I hope this shows that as TNT and a couple others have echoed, sexual preferences has nothing to do in the big picture of who someone is as a person.

As long as I can caveat that statement with the limit that those sexual preferences are taking place between two consenting legally recognized adult homo sapiens. I have played Devil's Advocate countless times on this topic but I do, honestly, believe that the majority rule is the correct one in this case.

WesternSwing said:

Although someone could simply say "between men, bi play is not a turn-on for me" and leave it at that, nobody has been able to defend the comments made by some that finding out their husband or boyfriend was bi would cause them to lose all respect for them. I am assuming then that such comments were made as emotional knee-jerk reactions and not as intellectual, rational, well thought-out, and supportable opinions and or facts.

Now I have no problem with Mrs. Chicup being mildly bi. She's always been, and I've encouraged it ( ). At the same time that she is bi, she is totally turned off by MM play of ANY kind. It grosses her out the same way that most people are grossed out by beastiality. It doesn't make it wrong, but it's not something she is in the least bit into. Now let's pretend I was bi, I know she would lose 'respect' for me. In this case respect doesn't mean I am a bad person now, but of the things she admires in me and makes me the ideal husband for her, I would take a major hit. I would be far less desirable as a mate in her eyes. It would be an undesireable trait. I don't see this line of thinking as wrong at all.

... In this case respect doesn't mean I am a bad person now, but of the things she admires in me and makes me the ideal husband for her, I would take a major hit. I would be far less desireable as a mate in her eyes. It would be an undesireable trait. I don't see this line of thinking as wrong at all.

Chicup,

What you are talking about is something different than whether or not male bisexuality is enough to lose respect for a person. An individual who 'suddenly' decides they are bisexual after they are married and wishes to pursue that is something completely different. I would say that a swinger couple, dealing with this issue, puts it into completely different territory. We are debating an ethical issue, is male bisexuality unethical? People don't lose respect over "undesireable traits" they lose it because they have gambling problems or are drunks or cheat on taxes NOT because they don't put the toilet seat down after using it or leave all the lights on in the house.

I am making an assumption here but Mrs.Chicup would probably lose respect for you because you had not been honest about that attraction, if you had been hiding it all this time. It isn't being PC, Tia Vampire actually DID put it on the table...is male bisexuality an ethical issue? For her it is and she stated it to be so without hesitation. If it is for you guys, then so be it, but that does not make the OPs question or the turn of the thread politically correct.

I am making an assumption here but Mrs.Chicup would probably lose respect for you because you had not been honest about that attraction, if you had been hiding it all this time.

I'd say that's a fair assumption.

A couple doesn't suddenly fall "out of respect" for each other because everything's honky-dory to begin with. If one or the other haven't been communicating their desires from day one, there's no way for the other to adjust comfortably to their growth as a couple. To do so suddenly is FORCING his views on her and of course, she's going to lose respect and trust.

I am frequently contacted by guys who want to experiment behind their wives backs because "my wife wouldn't understand". I recognize THAT as being disrespectful. And I also recognize that the marriage has problems because of this dishonesty and for that reason, I won't touch 'em.

how dare you compare beastiality to homosexuality, but when it comes to your own spouse its not so different.

I'm sorry but get a grip. Sex between two conscenting human adults is NOT a comparable magnitude as having sex with animals--who are not capable of giving conscious conscent or recognizing a bonding relationship between humans.

I think that was an incredibly poor analogy.

Concupiscence said:

I am making an assumption here but Mrs.Chicup would probably lose respect for you because you had not been honest about that attraction, if you had been hiding it all this time. It isn't being PC, Tia Vampire actually DID put it on the table...is male bisexuality an ethical issue? For her it is and she stated it to be so without hesitation. If it is for you guys, then so be it, but that does not make the OPs question or the turn of the thread politically correct.

Well if I was bi and told her at the start of our relationship we wouldn't be married in the first place. She really doesn't like MM activity. She wouldn't think I was less of a person but I'd be less sexually attractive to her.

Dooode said:

 

I'm sorry but get a grip. Sex between two consenting human adults is NOT a comparable magnitude as having sex with animals--who are not capable of giving conscious consent or recognizing a bonding relationship between humans.

 

I think that was an incredibly poor analogy.

I'm sure you do, but you have to understand where this is coming from. As a straight male I view the concept of a homosexual act of the same level, perhaps even worse than beastiality in terms of desirability.

If you put me in front of a cow and another man, put a gun to my head and said 'do one' the physical reaction would be the same to me.

I also don't think beastiality is immoral. I think it's gross, I don't understand the drive, and I have no desire to partake in it. Much like I would feel about homosexual activity.

Also we are talking in the context of swinging here, so pair bonding is a moot point. As for consent, I think that's a false argument as well. We are not talking about animal rape here, and anyone who has been around dogs enough know that dogs don't ask us for consent when they are humping our legs. Likewise as someone who has worked with horses, you can't really force a large animal to do anything they really don't consent to do. Hell part of a farmers job involves sticking their hands in 'odd' places as well as masturbating large animals for semen collection, which they are eager to have done to them. I've seen this argument used before when it comes to this subject and the facts don't match up with it.

I'm sure you do, but you have to understand where this is comming from. As a straight male I view the concept of a homosexual act of the same level, perhaps even worse than beastiality in terms of desireablity.

 

If you put me in front of a cow and another man, put a gun to my head and said 'do one' the physical reaction would be the same to me.

 

I also don't think beastiality is immoral. I think its gross, I don't understand the drive, and I have no desire to partake in it. Much like I would feel about homosexual activity.

 

Also we are talking in the context of swinging here, so pair bonding is a moot point.

Chicup:

I can understand the desirability factor, but you could've just as easily said having sex with children (and for the record, I think both are grossly immoral). A dog running off of an instinct to hump a leg is NOT the same as a human being making a conscious decision to do the same.

Pair bonding is not a moot point, because you ARE looking for compatible people within the lifestyle, regardless that you're not having a relationship with them.

Or do you just have sex with any woman who comes along?

Seriously. Desirability factor aside, at least choose an analogy that makes sense! LOL

Chicup said:

As a straight male I view the concept of a homosexual act of the same level, perhaps even worse than beastiality in terms of desirability.

So if you don't perceive a homosexual act on the same level or even worse then beastiality then your not a straight male?

I know what you are saying, BUT, you could have left the "as a straight male" part out of it. You're not speaking for all straight males.

Let's try this again, Chicup. We went off-track:

Firstly, if I were gay, I would be insulted by having my particular sexual orientation compared with what is illegal in all 50 states, not to mention wholly immoral in the United States and Canada.

If you fail to understand that, I don't know where else to go with this. But I can understand why it would irk them. It reeks of bigotry.

Secondly, if I found out my spouse were having sex with orangutans, chimpanzees, cucumbers, azaleas, cats, hawaian pathos, rubber tree plants OR any other human being without my knowledge or consent, then yes I would lose respect for them. Worse than that, they would lose my trust. Further, the fact that it is happening at all demonstrates lack of communication in the relationship and it is already in trouble.

Umm... On second thought, let's take the cucumber off the list.

Thirdly, I don't know what your wife's sexual orientation is, but assuming that she's bisexual (as are many women in the swing community), it would be a fair assumption to say that she is a subset of gay, as you eloquently put it. Or maybe all these other married bisexual ladies are subset of gay. Were I them, I would consider it an insult to my marital relationship.

Lastly, I know that straight women have problems with being hit on by bisexual women at clubs. While this does bother them, I've rarely ever run into a hetero woman generalize by identifying bisexual women as lesbians.

I don't have a problem with heteros in general and I do understand the revulsion some can have toward same-sex contact. But you really should examine your thought process, Chicup. To my ears, it sounds ignorant and laced with bigotry.

I think I relate with a lot of guys who've written... in 7th 8th grade did a lot of sex play with guys (which always involved a playboy or two).

Strictly girls only until we found a couple that we swing exclusively with now. I personally don't think of myself (or the other guy) as homo sexual, but we are definitley are not homophobic either.

We see each other on average once a month, always at their farm--private farm. It's always a little funny to break the ice again to get back in the swing of things. But Friday night, we'll always begin with a group activity... often a 3 on 1 massage. But the baby oil gets to flowing easily, and generally our bodies are all slick before the end of the first massage.

All I can say is, we're all touching each other in every way from Friday, and we're all enjoying it enormously. And in the mix of squirmy bodies, we can all end up in some pretty interesting, intimate, and purely sexual tangles.

I believe the word would be orgy... and it's really great.

Now, I am not attracted to guys in any sort of sexual way, I don't dream about guys and making love with them... I am attracted to girls, and very attracted to my own beautiful wonderful amazingly sexy wife.

But we do like to have sex fun...

Chicup:

 

I can understand the desirability factor, but you could've just as easily said having sex with children (and for the record, I think both are grossly immoral).

I had listed sex with children and removed it before I posted my post. The reason is that in my mind homosexuality is more like beastiality to me than pedophilia. The reason is that I do not think beastiality hurts anyone, animal or person, while pedophilia can be damaging to the child.

Pair bonding is not a moot point, because you ARE looking for compatible people within the lifestyle, regardless that you're not having a relationship with them.

While we are in fact looking for compatible couples, many in swinging are not looking for compatible besides being willing to swap. While I didn't bother to post it, my guess is people who have sex with their dogs may well love their dogs too. People bond with animals as it is when sex isn't involved, I can't see how they wouldn't if sex were involved.

Or do you just have sex with any woman who comes along?

Nope, but I know men who would. Personality doesn't matter to many. Even if its about sexual attraction only, you would have to admit that zoophiles are in fact attracted to animals. This argument really doesn't hold water.

Seriously. Desirability factor aside, at least choose an analogy that makes sense! LOL

The problem with the beastality analogy is that it makes perfect sense. I don't think beastiality is immoral, I don't think homosexuality is, I don't want to have sex with animals, I don't want to have sex with men, I find the thought of having sex with an animal gross, I find the thought of having sex with a man gross. I really don't think beastiality should be any more illegal than homosexuality. The difference is that most homosexuals would find beastality gross and just hate the comparison even if it is valid. I'd not be surprised if many true homosexuals find heterosexual sex gross and undesirable and much like beastiality in terms of how it makes them feel. I don't feel threatened by that analogy.

Firstly, if I were gay, I would be insulted by having my particular sexual orientation compared with what is illegal in all 50 states, not to mention wholly immoral in the United States and Canada.

This is in fact the issue. They would and are insulted by the analogy. I don't care, I'm not PC. I'm not 100% sure beastiality is illegal in all states, but I do know its legal in parts of Western Europe. Likewise homosexuality is illegal in many parts of the planet. The legal/illegality of the issue really doesn't matter.

If you fail to understand that, I don't know where else to go with this. But I can understand why it would irk them. It reeks of bigotry.

I do understand it, but I don't care. It is the most fitting analogy I can think of. I don't think it reeks of bigotry at all unless I felt they should be excluded because what they do for sex.

Secondly, if I found out my spouse were having sex with orangutans, chimpanzees, cucumbers, azeleas, cats, hawaian pathos, rubber tree plants OR any other human being without my knowledge or conscent, then yes I would lose respect for them. Worse than that, they would lose my trust. Further, the fact that it is happening at all demonstrates lack of communication in the relationship and it is already in trouble.

This is more of a cheating argument than anything else and I don't think it applies here. If I were bisexual and told my wife, even if I never acted on it, I'm not sure what her reaction would be. If I were bisexual and acted on it without her consent, she would look for a divorce as I would become undesirable to her. If I had had sex with another woman without her consent she would be extremely pissed but I think it would work out.

Thirdly, I don't know what your wife's sexual orientation is, but assuming that she's bisexual (as are many women in the swing community), it would be a fair assumption to say that she is a subset of gay, as you eloquently put it. Or maybe all these other married bisexual ladies are subset of gay. Were I them, I would consider it an insult to my marital relationship.

I mentioned in one of my posts that she was mildly bi. Meaning she likes men far more than women sexually but will play around with the right woman and is turned on by it. I'm not sure how anyones marital relationship has been insulted in the least, if you would care to explain I'll answer.

Lastly, I know that straight women have problems with being hit on by bisexual women at clubs. While this does bother them, I've rarely ever run into a hetero woman generalize by identifying bisexual women as lesbians.

You haven't been around enough clubs if you haven't run into the married lesbians That being said I still don't see the issue you are bringing up here. No one is generalizing bisexual as gay, in fact I think most women are bisexual in nature, far more than men. I only put bisexual rights with gay rights as they would face the same issues. I think there is a world of difference between being gay and bisexual.

I don't have a problem with heteros in general and I do understand the revulsion some can have toward same-sex contact. But you really should examine your thought process, Chicup. To my ears, it sounds ignorant and laced with bigotry.

You like to use bigotry and insult a lot. What I don't see is a lot of logic, and if we are talking about thought processes then we need to talk logic. My logic seems pretty flawless to me. What you are doing is putting your own bias against beastiality and transferring it to my feelings about homosexuality. The problem is I don't feel any ill will to people who are into beastiality any more than I do people who are homosexual. I've never even claimed that the two are the same only that as a sexual practice they are analogous to me with my sexual orientation. No one (or thing) gets hurt, I don't understand the urge, but I am willing to accept it as natural to others. Had I included pedophilia as you suggested then I could be accused of ignorance and bigotry as pedophilia to me is a destructive act.

Wow, few subjects invoke the emotional responses like the subject of male bisexuality. I can't believe it actually. There is such a division in the two camps, with very little gray area where people say "it's not for me, but if it works for them". And like in the vanilla world where the media immediately takes swinging to pedophilia and beastialty, so does swingers about male/male contact. Wow, I thought we were the "enlightened ones".

Surrender

I have no issues with male/male or female/female contact within or out of the lifestyle. I do however have issues when someone makes a statement like

Quote

Wow, I thought we were the "enlightened ones".

Just because we swing doesn't mean we accept every form of sexual contact or sexual fetish...I am pretty open minded but even I have limits. For example I don't do gang bangs, I don't swallow, I don't like having a man cum on my face etc... That doesn't make me close minded it just means I have an opinion. Open minded does not mean we have to accept everything.

As part of that open mindedness I also accept that there are things that I don't have any issue with, like male/male contact and yet another person sees male/male contact as "gross". That person doesn't deserve any more criticism for his opinion than I do for me.

Just my two cents worth....

WesternSwing said:

Wow, few subjects invoke the emotional responses like the subject of male bisexuality. I can't believe it actually. There is such a division in the two camps, with very little gray area where people say "it's not for me, but if it works for them". And like in the vanilla world where the media immediately takes swinging to pedophilia and beastialty, so does swingers about male/male contact. Wow, I thought we were the "enlightened ones".

 

Surrender

This has nothing to do with being 'enlightened' or even the presses reaction to swinging. It has nothing to do with morals or phobias, bigotry, or any other hotbutton words.

Being a swinger doesn't mean I am now able to see two men having sex and think 'oh that's hot'. I still think its odd and gross as I don't have any of the biological urges for it. This isn't a judgement of their activity, I accept that they have the urges that make them want to have MM sex and my feelings shouldn't stop them in any way. This is what is called 'tolerance' I tolerate an activity that does nothing for me but seems to work for someone else. Tolerance doesn't mean you have to LIKE said activity.

It seems to me that a number of the responses in this thread are unreasonably extreme. One has to wonder the true conscious or sub-conscious motivations for these posts. Tolerance for others and other ways of thinking is certainly something that those of us that participate in swinging should appreciate.

It seems to me that a number of the responses in this thread are unreasonably extreme. One has to wonder the true conscious or sub-conscious motivations for these posts. Tolerance for others and other ways of thinking is certainly something that those of us that participate in swinging should appreciate.

I give. Surrender

I have always understood the desirability factor with many heteros (and some bis actually) to same-sex activity. There is no question of that. I didn't just fall off the turnip truck yesterday. I've gotten the same reaction from homosexuals pertaining to sex with the opposite sex (go talk to a lesbian about sex with a man and you'll see what I mean).

At the same time, I found the comparison to beastiality to be of an order of magnitude that is grossly unfair. It's like a non-smoker saying that smokers are comparable to druggies smoking crack cocaine. Or a vegetarian telling a meat-eater that he's a cannibal. It's like !!!!

On the subject of beastiality being "harmless" or "morally ok", I think that's also off-kilter. I put down my German Sheppard of 16 1/2 years just a few months ago .. and although I have enjoyed the cuddle sessions with her on occasion, I KNOW that not only would I have hurt her by having sex with her, I have no doubt that I would've killed her.

I like to think that I care more for my animals than that.

Anyway. That's the last of my input on this subject.

Over the years my wife and I have evolved to the point where we prefer sex with the opposite gender but can both enjoy it a lot with the same gender. It all depends on the couple or single who joins us. We've had some very hot bi experiences with FFM, MMF and MFMF.

WesternSwing said:

There is such a division in the two camps, with very little gray area where people say "it's not for me, but if it works for them".

Actually - I am very willing to say that - and actually have said that very thing. What I find around here (and what tends to CAUSE the consternation) is that no one seems willing to say, "straight isn't for me, but if it works for them."

The heterophobia makes me want to hide under a blanket sometimes...

I don't have a partner right now, but I think bi men ARE hot. I've never seen two men together except in movies and photos but that's been enough to get me wet. I'd love to see it in person, maybe participate.

Because I'm the "elusive bi fem" (unpartnered), I think it would be a while before that happened. I certainly wouldn't feel comfortable with two guys I didn't know or didn't know very well.

Hubby and I are just now talking about the whole bi male experience and the more we talk and the more we see, I am totally turned on about the idea. We are looking for our first experience. Hopefully soon.

I was one of those "never in a million years," until a fairly recent encounter with a couple I had known for some time. She wanted to see her husband and I do oral on each other. We did. She loved it, a lot. Turns out we did too. Partly for what it was and partly because of her enthusiastic enjoyment.

I don't feel any different about me or them. It was simply another one of those very memorable things that can happen in this lifestyle.

My goodness, this was a long thread to read. In answer to the question...I do not find bi males hot. Let me rephrase that, I do not find 2 males doing it to each other hot. I have seen very hot looking bi males and even gay males, but I am not interested in seeing them do each other. It has nothing to do with respect or any other issue other than it just doesn't turn me on. Everyone has their own opinion. I don't think less of anyone who does that or who likes that. If they enjoy it who cares? What I think is weird is that I like watching porn with 2 females and I am bi curious, (of course Mr. Mouse likes this fact). If we see a profile that has a bi/bi curious male, we do not contact or say No Thank You. Its just a personal preference. We have bi and gay friends, but its just not for us

Minnie

In a world where attraction can change at the drop of a hat, what is the point in solidifying a view within the now? The most unexpected things often exert the strongest pull on me. Maybe that complex is similar for others too.

Patrick, I think you're saying that at different times we find we like different things. I totally agree with you.

Precisely!

On 11/25/2020 at 12:05 AM, JessicaJamison said:

I think if you love someone you want to see them happy, I love watching my husband suck a dick, it does it for me.  

Amen to THAT! and more...

On 12/14/2020 at 2:43 AM, herpob said:

  On 11/25/2020 at 12:05 AM, JessicaJamison said:

I think if you love someone you want to see them happy, I love watching my husband suck a dick, it does it for me.  

Amen to THAT! and more... 

The and more... has become quite the addiction for me - who knew - WOW!!!!!

On 4/12/2021 at 12:54 PM, Goodbicouple said:

This is the wife of a bi man who told me early on in our relationship that he wanted 

another man's dick orally but, was will to go all the way. He  didn't know what my reaction would be. Consequencely my reply after some thought was, the subconscious mind and one's fantasiese are cosely related and meant to be explored.  This was an open door invitation to our first experience. We immediately signed up for SLS and planned to meet a single bi-courious man at his  apartment for some afternoon delight. He was a nice looking man, very gracious and made us feel right at home. We started by take off our clothes and laid naked on the bed  with all six hand's exploring each other.

I saw my husband going down on his hard dick and I got on the other side.  We sucked him to completion. It was a rememberable first time and now we've graduated to an ongoing relationship with another couple. They're both bi.  I think bi guys are hot. 

 

I agree 100%