The Secret To Measuring A Penis, The Mystery Revealed

[BradAndJanet]

This has been a quite interesting thread and I just wanted to offer myself up (for the sake of science, of course!) for testing of any sort that you ladies feel is necessary to validate your methods of measurement.

-B

[Elusive BiFem]

Originally posted by BradAndJanet
This has been a quite interesting thread and I just wanted to offer myself up (for the sake of science, of course!) for testing of any sort that you ladies feel is necessary to validate your methods of measurement.

-B

Hey Ladies of the Swingersboard! We've caught us one! - EBF

[Elusive BiFem]

Originally posted by MrYaWanna
Sounds to me like you should design and patent a Winky gauge. You could create a society of professionals, make women take training and pass a test to receive the approved gauge, have a secret handshake, perhaps even a ring or charm to signify to the world that you are indeed a qualified Winky measurer. I wonder if you could get it CSA or ASA approved?
Who wants to be the founding President?


Oh, and Happy New Year Everyone!!

And not a bad idea! Then...we could move into the various clubs, on a fee for service basis of course. All those wishing certification of their mearsurements would pay a fee...say for a certain period of time - maybe 6 months. And of course, for ladies questioning the accuracy of stated size, there would be no fee. However, if the accurate and certified measurements did not "measure up" to what had been previously stated, I would suggest that that particular gentleman be placed on a BANNED list...to be distributed to all clubs. After all, we need truth in advertising.

And maybe Tom and Bonnie will let us come into their club to test market our invention?

Now who for President? I'm thinking Mrs. Alura.

- EBF

[yawanna]

Hey Ladies of the Swingersboard! We've caught us one! - EBF

Reel him in!!!! I'll run and get the net........

[Uneed_Love]

Originally posted by BradAndJanet
This has been a quite interesting thread and I just wanted to offer myself up (for the sake of science, of course!) for testing of any sort that you ladies feel is necessary to validate your methods of measurement.

-B

Brad I am very impressed and admirative of Your sense of sacrifice for the s(h)ake of science

GOOD LUCK MAN

[texasfans2003]

EBF

Being a teacher, I am interested in anything that benefits the advancement of scientific measurement. Being in Austin may be more convenient as well, but I sure don't want to cheat Brad out of being first in line. All I ask is just be gentle and no fair having COLD hands!!!!!


Hey Brad.

If they really get this thing going, they will have a national certification process that will require literally thousands of test subjects.



D

[Elusive BiFem]

Originally posted by texasfans2003
Hey Brad.

If they really get this thing going, they will have a national certification process that will require literally thousands of test subjects.
D

Yeah...thousands. And as a teacher, I'm certain you are aware we will need to do a lengthy study to be certain our hypothesis of the hand measurement is accurate....a statistical analysis of sorts. And one requiring many control subjects.

- EBF

[MrYaWanna]

WoooWhooo...Can we be the first international chapter? I could be talked into being the first Canadian test subject

[BradAndJanet]

Originally posted by texasfans2003
...Hey Brad.

If they really get this thing going, they will have a national certification process that will require literally thousands of test subjects.



D

I'm sure that for the sake of science, we'd be able to round up that many 'winkies'. Miles and miles of them, no doubt!

-B

[Alura]

Originally posted by Elusive BiFem
And not a bad idea! Now who for President? I'm thinking Mrs. Alura.

- EBF

Sounds normal, EBF. Whenever an organization needs an officer, Mrs. Alura is offered the job. It doesn't matter whether it's the football team, booster club, Boy Scouts, etc., you can find her there, heavily involved.

Now, she and I had a chat about winkie measurement and she said she'd post a reply based on "Rich," the man of the couple we first played with. I'm convinced she's never going to find time, so I'll give you the gist of our conversation. If she wants to add something later, so much the better.

We measured Mrs. Alura's hands in the "Winkie Measurements International, LLC" prescribed manner and found them to be virtually the same at three and a quarter inches. (Mrs. Alura had thought for years that her hand was at least six inches across, based on the claims of men she'd known in the past.)

Rich, who never mentioned his winkie size, astounded both of us when he undressed at our first play date. Now, I have to admit that I had little interest in the many winkies I'd seen in locker rooms and military showers, but if I'd ever seen one like that, I think I'd have remembered it. He claimed nine and a half inches and assured Mrs. Alura, who did not think he was exaggerating, that there would be no problem, that he would not hurt her. "Women stretch a lot," he explained.

"I believe the hand measurement would work pretty well," opined Mrs. Alura. "Both my hands measure three and a quarter inches. When I had them both wrapped around Rich's cock, that makes six and a half inches, with three inches in my mouth. I think that's about right."

(I wonder if this post should be in the "How big is too big?" thread....??? Oh, well...)

We ended up in separate rooms not because it was the preference of either couple, they were new, too, but because we all thought that was the way "Swinging" was done. Mrs. Rich seemed distracted at first but I managed to get her attention with my tongue and things were going well until we heard Mrs. Alura's voice shouting, "FUCK ME!!!!".

"Oh, my God!" said Mrs. Rich, "Do you think she's okay?"

"Yes," I replied. "I definitely think she's okay. Wanna go watch?" (Evil leer on my face...)

We ran for the bedroom and were greeted by one of the sexiest sights my eyes ever beheld. Mrs. Alura was on her back with Rich between her shapely (and widely spread) legs. She held a buttock in each hand, controlling his thrusts, each one of which she was meeting with enthusiam and shrieks. The sight of his "winkie" sliding in and out of my wife was amazing (and very hot!!!).

Well, Rich didn't last long with all this going on and the show was over far too soon. (I think that's when I decided same room-same bed was the way to go in swinging.) The noise abated, the bed stopped rocking, and the four of us talked for an hour or so until the winkies started to revive. Eventually, we paired off with our spouses and went to sleep in separate rooms. But sleep didn't come for awhile; both couples made love.

The next morning when the Rich's came out of the bedroom, something was obviously wrong. They left right away but a couple of days later, Rich came by alone and talked to me about what had happened. His wife was very jealous. His real problems began, though, when she asked, "Is she better than I am?" Rich apparently thought too long before answering, "Oh, of course not."

"I had to tell her that," he said. "I know it was a lie."

His wife didn't want to swing again but he wanted to come over for threesomes or, better yet, to have sex with Mrs. Alura alone. We showed him how the door worked and never saw him again.

Mr. Alura

[MattMann]

Wow, that was a great story. I am always surprised to read about women who are insecure about their lovemaking or think another woman is better than them. I thought that was strictly a male problem and women had far less to worry about as far as differences in "equipment" and performance, etc. I could never rate woman better than another as far as the sex act is concerned, they were all great. Some may have better personalities and demeanors but you don't have to have sex with them to find that out. Usually.

[curiousagain]

I thought they measued horses by hands as a unit of measure.
Then again.............

[gsmusic]

I must admit that I've done nothing but think about this topic since I was first enlightened. So much so that a song popped into my head, which did an immediate revision in my brain to fit the topic and now I'm walking around singing it to myself.

The song in my head...revised (via moi ) from the Bee Gee's "How Deep is Your Love?

"How deep is your love? Howwww deep is youuuuur love hole? I didn't mean to hurt you... "I am thrustin' in hole of warmth and you seem to be pained to take it...." lalalalala

Try getting that song out of your head now!

They wrote that in Miami when they were living in a mansion that had been used to shoot porn. They were just sitting on the staircase jiving around. Actually, they have some other choice lyrical tidbits from that record.

[stoutgatte]

Funny how old threads get new life... This one had me holding my tummy at some stage, I'm sure it's still sore...