View Poll Results: Who does the talking?

145. You may not vote on this poll
  • He does most of the talking.

    39 26.90%
  • She does most of the talking.

    42 28.97%
  • We only chat when both can be present.

    19 13.10%
  • We both prefer to be present but he more than she.

    20 13.79%
  • We both prefer to be present but she more than he.

    21 14.48%
  • I'm single and it doesn't really matter.

    4 2.76%
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Results 1 to 15 of 31
  1. #1

    Smile Who Does The Talking?

    I know that we've touched upon this somewhere in the course of the various threads, but I wanted to get a little more specific.

    When you are corresponding with a couple or couples outside of the initial reply to an add, who does the talking.

    This issue came about in my house because hubby feels that we only ever get to talk with the men. He feels like when I am online I am always getting IM's and emails from men, but the women never seem to be around. So, it makes him feel that maybe both parties are not in agreement, or maybe the guys are online without their wives knowledge. I hope that makes sense.

    I find that I talk to both. But I do find that in some couples I talk to one more than the other. For instance, and forgive me if you'd rather not be an example and I will change this a bit. I always talk with Mr. Alura and not Mrs. And at the same time I may chat with Mrs. O but never Mr.

    The point... who does the talking, you or your spouse.
    Last edited by Roxysbayou; 12-21-2003 at 01:49 AM.
    I put the "grrrr" in swinger baby, yeah!

    --Austin Powers

  2. #2

    Talking Obviously, I do all the talking

    But it seems that during the first contact I almost always talk to the man and after that, its almost always the wife. Sometimes I think its because I'm a single man and they think she should get to know me better before deciding if they are going to play with me (that sounds so recess-ish ).
    "Style is not lusting after somone because they are cool. Style is loving yourself till everyone else does too."


  3. #3


    Actually this is a very good question, Roxy. As I am the better typist of the two, I am usually the one that does the conversing. However, Mr. O is either privy to or involved in the conversations for the most part. If Mr. O is doing the typing the person on the other end will have time to do a load of laundry, fold it, put it away and the recepient would have missed nothing. (Okay, so that is a bit of an exaggeration..but you get the point. )

    I also talk with others online in which one or the other of the spouses is generally the pre-dominant typist, however I do on occasion chat with the other spouse also and they always seem to know exactly what to talk about, so I can safely assume they are sharing information.

    I answered that "She does most of the talking" however, if it is someone that we both do not know or are just getting to know, both of us must be present in order to converse, if we are not, we let the other know and schedule a time that we can both be present.
    Last edited by OhioCouple; 12-21-2003 at 02:29 AM.
    Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

  4. #4


    I have to admit that I do most of the talking. Larren likes to call it "The Business End", but he does eventually like to get in on the conversation if I approve of the couple (or whomever I'm speaking with) and find them not to be too fake or phony.

    We'll usually chat online before anything else, so they get added to my list immediately, and his later on.
    Sonya and Larren
    Management @

  5. #5

    Default I have to qualify this

    I (Mr) does most of the talking till we get to the lets get together point then Mrs Fun gets on the phone and speaks directly to the female or female half. This occurs purely because of time constraints. Mrs Fun is in a salaried managemet position and is gone long hours. I run 2 companies, but they are both home based. My available puter time is much higher.

  6. #6


    I (Monsieur B) carry the initial workload, sifting out the chaff and picking out potentials for Madame B to vet. From there on in, it's a question of both of us trying to be present if we're chatting via some sort of messenger software, or both of us being party to the reading of emails and the composing of replies. There are times though - simply because I'm more computer orientated than she is - that I'll be doing the 'talking', and passing on the gist of the conversations. In any case, like Mr & Mrs Fun, there will be a female to female phone call prior to any meeting.
    It's not going to be an orgy. It's a toga party . . .

  7. #7

    Default Re: Who Does The Talking?

    Originally posted by Roxysbayou
    I always talk with Mr. Alura and not Mrs. And at the same time I may chat with Mrs. O but never Mr.

    The point... who does the talking, you or your spouse.
    I don't mind being an example at all, Roxy, but I have to admit I don't remember ever talking directly to you. I've answered your posts and, once, (if I remember correctly) when you disappeared for awhile, I sent you an email to let you know that your posts were missed. Come to think of it, we many have exchanged a few emails when you were considering coming to a Meet Up! in Dallas. Damn, this insanity is inconvenient!

    In our business, I manage the office, keep the books, and act as Mrs. Alura's "appointments secretary" for her trips to visit our customers. I'm often at the computer so have more time to post on the board. Mrs. Alura can be quite prolific with emails once we get to know someone, as EBF and WRnakedru can attest.

    I spend a lot of time exchanging messages with Mrs. O. Mrs Alura will walk by and say, "Hi, Mrs. O!" I'll relay her message.

    When we want to talk to a couple, usually to weed out the single-married, honest-cheaters, we give them a phone number (toll-free, if more convenient)
    so we can chat with both.

    Both of us would like to talk to you and your husband on the phone.

    Mr. Alura

  8. #8

    Default Re: Re: Who Does The Talking?

    Originally posted by Alura
    I spend a lot of time exchanging messages with Mrs. O. Mrs Alura will walk by and say, "Hi, Mrs. O!" I'll relay her message.
    A very good point Mr. Alura. While it is true that I talk with you more often than I do with Mrs. Alura, it is because of the fact that you are at the computer more often. However there have been many occasions that I've spoken with either you both or Mrs. Alura alone. Just as Mr. O has spoken on several occasions alone with the Alura's and several other folks that we correspond with. It all depends on availablity of the other party. Sometimes we are both here, sometimes we aren't.

    We are very choosy about who we give our instant messenger name too and therefore we have never had the problem of being concerned about one or the other not being present as we are comfortable in the fact that the information will be shared with the absent party. We also use the same IM address for both of us and dependent upon who is at the keyboard, we always let them know up front with a simple msg of "Hi, this is Mr. O/Mrs. O or both of us" For those that know us real well, then usually they can tell by my initial response or contact that it is me on the keyboard, because I always use some sort of standard type to them. Such as for the Alura's, I'll always say "Howdy Tulsa".

    As for the phone call situation. I was really rather opposed to that at first, but I must say that I've grown to learn that it cuts down on a lot of the riff-raff and you can easily verify if it is a couple that you have been conversing with through e-mails.
    Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

  9. #9


    I knew those examples were a bad idea, lol. I guess I was refering more to those that we meet from our paysite, or from those that get my IM and I have no idea where they get it.

    But I used the examples that I chose because you are prodominant on this board. But now that I look at it, it's kind of silly, since I didn't really mean the board members at all.

    I am confusing myself.

    Anyway, forgive me.


    BTW... I would love to chat with the Alura's or the Ohio's anytime over the phone.
    I put the "grrrr" in swinger baby, yeah!

    --Austin Powers

  10. #10


    LOL @ Roxy...

    Here is something that I have learned. If you are an AOL user, your default AIM is your screen name. A real pain in the ass in my opinion. Before we left AOL, I literally had to block anyone on both my Email address and AIM in order to keep them from contacting me. Most of the time I had no clue where these people came from. We have since switched service providers and now use Yahoo only for instant messages. I've yet to have had a single problem with getting messages from people that I have no clue who they are.

    Remember, on your ad site, if you choose to list your AIM and your service provider is AOL, these people now have access to your e-mail address. That is where some of our problems stemmed from. That and the fact that we weren't all that 'creative' in insuring that one name didn't link us to another. Thank goodness that nightmare is almost a distant memory.
    Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

  11. #11


    Originally posted by Roxysbayou
    I am confusing myself.

    Anyway, forgive me.


    BTW... I would love to chat with the Alura's or the Ohio's anytime over the phone.
    No apology needed, Roxy. I'm pleased that I'm not as crazy (or forgetful) as I thought I might be.

    I'll PM our phone number to you.

    Mr. Alura

  12. #12


    I put the she more than he, but that's only because she is a stay at home mom and he works as a contractor. We both talk and will have at least one conversation each with most before meeting. Plus we have our archives set up so both see all conversations.

    Mr. hmr

  13. #13


    We only chat or answer e mails when both are present. Playing with others is something we do together, and consider this a part of that. Can get confusing for the people we talk to however, as they never know which of us is typing.

  14. #14

    Lightbulb Me Me Me Me!!!

    Who's there chatting like he knows what he's doin'!

    It's Me! It's me!

    Who's that over there talkin' bout....Screwing???

    It's Me! It's me!!!!

    Ahhhhh....the perfect cheer.....

    "I can resist everything except for temptation..."

  15. #15
    She's a lurker; he's not leftcoastcouple's Avatar
    Married Couple (But mostly Mr.)


    We're not there yet--still in the filtering email respones phase, looking for a good match--but I suspect when we do, she'll do most of the talking.

    She's likely to be more picky than I am, plus she's more of a "people person." She is also a good judge of character, and I feel that if she does most of the contact, other couples will know that we're for real, not some guy with a wife who supposedly wants to participate. She's also very direct, so anyone trying to be evasive or deceptive will not get past her.

    I'll likely be the one making sure all the questions are asked and issues are addressed, taking mental notes as we go--and then making a case to move ahead when we feel there's a match, since I have a feeling she may get cold feet at that point!

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