Curious how others have addressed this

[Hydro324]

After years of talking about engaging in the lifestyle and getting "close" to taking steps in the past, my wife and I have had a face-to-face, adult conversation about it. Turns out her primary and ultimate hesitation is that she thinks she'd like having sex with another guy while I watch too much. She thinks it would be so exciting that she'd be unable to have 'normal' sex, i.e. she and I along.

Has anyone faced this before? Any thoughts, guidance in how to address it?

[SW_PA_Couple]

May I ask? Are you the person who has been promoting the idea (for years) of entering a swing lifestyle? "It would be so exciting I'd be unable to have 'normal' sex with you" sound to me like a way of saying "stop bothering me with this".

[two4youinswva]

If she enjoys sex with you now, she's going to enjoy sex with you afterwards.

From an outsiders perspective, it is a rather peculiar reason for hesitation. I don't want to dog pile on the subject, but I must admit I had the same thought as SW_PA_Couple when I first read your post.

Here's hoping we're both wrong.

[s_couple]

Speaking from our own experiences... We're newbies and just joined this lifestyle. We had an MFM in a hotel and a couple swap (full swap) in an on premise club.

Do we have a problem having sex with each other after we play with others? So far, not at all. We are so turned on talking about our life style experiences while we have sex now. It feels like we're back to our honeymoon stage back when we were still dating as opposed to a couple who has been together for 11 years (9 years married).

Of course the great things we experience may not happen to everyone out there since each couple's relationship is different.

[DigginIt]

If anything, the sex is hotter with each other because you are both very turned on from the experiences.

Is the new sex, better, hotter, etc...

Well, yes and no. You can't compare "new sex" with your sex. It's apples and oranges. Hopefully the two of you have a deep intimate bond. New sex is very lustful and emotionally charged but at the end of the night...intimate sex still triumphs!!

[Hydro324]

SW PA Couple - of course I'm the one who has been promoting this idea. That's interesting that you see that as the indirect blow off. You may be right . . . who knows? I guess there's other things in life than mind-blowing sex.

[bbarnsworth]

I guess there's other things in life than mind-blowing sex.

Breathable air, drinkable water. Yep, bases covered.

[Alura]

Breathable air, drinkable water. Yep, bases covered.

You forgot "bison herds," B.

Alura

[shrevecouple]

SW PA Couple - of course I'm the one who has been promoting this idea. That's interesting that you see that as the indirect blow off. You may be right . . . who knows? I guess there's other things in life than mind-blowing sex.

Why yes there is. I would hope you would think this is possible without swinging activities. I would be thankful for her hesitation and consideration for you.

[Payal]

if you enjoy it now, you will enjoy later

[JustAskJulie]

SW PA Couple - of course I'm the one who has been promoting this idea. That's interesting that you see that as the indirect blow off. You may be right . . . who knows? I guess there's other things in life than mind-blowing sex.

If you aren't having great sex now, but then her hesitation may not only be real it may be honest.