If we move forward, I get the feeling that we won't be together for very long

[Buttered_Up]

To the OP - I am sorry for your situation. I think that swinging should be the icing on an already delicious cake. It is so unfortunate that just talking openly about sex in a relationship can be a problem. I really think our society drives a lot of sexual hangups into folks. That said, perhaps you and your wife need less focus on swinging and more focus on some honest communication. If you discover that you aren't a good fit then hopefully you will figure that out through some understanding.

I wish you much luck! Hopefully you find what you need together.

[acmarius]

Hi Everyone:

I appreciate the feedback - I don't think as a couple we're strong enough or have the same interest in this side of our sexuality or our relationship -period.

It is frustrating, no matter what - doesn't matter how much you communicate, at some point you've said everything you can think of, without pissing the other person off too much - conclusion, I'm game to start slowly and see where things go, and she is not - those are our values.

We have not spoken about this really over Xmas - over the past month. We've given ourselves a break, and I think the ship has sailed. I've got mixed feelings - on one side I feel my sexual desires disappearing (less interested in sex, less interested in masturbation, less interested - period), and on the other hand I keep thinking of looking elsewhere. Now- before people start posting 100 replies to this comment, please keep in mind I have never cheated on my wife and I don't have anyone on the side either.

Kind of feel my life, desires are passing me by. Swinging is just another item on my list of things that I have put aside to stay in this relationship. My kids are what keep me here - for them to have a family is more important than my desires right now - divorce is not my answer or quick fix.

Thanks,
AC

[JM153]

Hi Everyone:

We've given ourselves a break, and I think the ship has sailed. I've got mixed feelings - on one side I feel my sexual desires disappearing (less interested in sex, less interested in masturbation, less interested - period), and on the other hand I keep thinking of looking elsewhere. Now- before people start posting 100 replies to this comment, please keep in mind I have never cheated on my wife and I don't have anyone on the side either.

Kind of feel my life, desires are passing me by. Swinging is just another item on my list of things that I have put aside to stay in this relationship. My kids are what keep me here - for them to have a family is more important than my desires right now - divorce is not my answer or quick fix.

Thanks,
AC

Have you had a good medical workup recently? The quoted comments are certainly consistent with low Testosterone. A deficiency will not only lower your sex drive, but it will also leave one disinterested in other areas of life. It is easily treated, so it would be good to get your Doctor to test you - it is a simple blood test.