Hard to find Bi male/Straight F Couple

[MasterHack2007]

It seems that female bisexuality is expected(we have been turned down for my wife not being bi alot). But at the same time bi males have to hide their sexuality even in this open-minded kind of lifestyle. I say this because i have had many responses for threesomes from guys marked as straight on their profile and email saying they are really bi and would love to be apart of our fun. whether they are just saying it to get to my wife or hiding their sexuality i have no clue. We also have had a couple we met at a club say they would never play with a couple with a bi male. I personally am very respectfull and would never try to play with a guy that wasnt comfortable with it. And a quick search within 50 miles of my area only shows two couple in our age range who even have a bi guy. one with a bi female which im kinda afraid to contact(when we are ready to play couples again) for worry they wont want us because my wife isnt bi. so why the stigma against respectfull bi guys? i saw a couple of profiles when we went on vacation that they said in there profile the guys was respectfull and wouldnt try anything not wanted so obviously guys are afraid to even be naked around a bi guy. why?

[LikeMinds321]

... so why the stigma against respectfull bi guys? i saw a couple of profiles when we went on vacation that they said in there profile the guys was respectfull and wouldnt try anything not wanted so obviously guys are afraid to even be naked around a bi guy. why?

I'm not a guy, but I'll take a guess.

I think it makes some straight guys uncomfortable to think that a bi-guy might be getting as turned on by looking at him naked and performing sex as he (the bi-guy) gets when watching/playing with women.

Simply put: It's just too ooky to think about!

LM

[ViSexual]

As far as the ads..., you'll find lots of guys who are a bit bi won't put it on a profile.

And, my wife isn't at all bi, and we have had several friend couples with bi husbands and very straight wives.

It's not all that uncommon at all.

[casablancabuff]

But at the same time bi males have to hide their sexuality even in this open-minded kind of lifestyle. I say this because i have had many responses for threesomes from guys marked as straight on their profile and email saying they are really bi and would love to be apart of our fun.

...Because there still is a social stigma or double standard in the swinger community regarding bi males.

My wife and I are brand new to this lifestyle (we've had a profile for only 2 months) and are still looking for our first mmf or mfm. I am bi-curious and would like to experiment a little but I also do not want to limit my wife’s selection of available men and have no problem keeping my hands to myself if the other guy is straight so I list as straight on our profile. If I listed bi-curious, it would reduce the number of men willing to contact us. What we have done is created a second free profile that has me listed as a bi-curious. Funny thing happens; we get contacted on both profiles by a lot of the same men. 9 out of 10 men who contact the bi profile have their profiles listed as straight. After chatting with these men, it is obvious they have some bi tendencies but do not list it that way in their profiles. Before any of you condem us for not being totally truthful, the men that contact the bi profile are ALWAYS told of the straight profile and that we have the second profile to filter for bi men since so few of them will list that way. And it works well too! Granted we are not telling the straight men because we are still open to straight mfm sex.

It’s sad that the Swinger community is still stuck on some of its old ways but it appears those old ways are slowly dying.

[SecretAsianMan]

Yep... it's definately much harder to find bisexual men in the lifestyle (at least guys who'll openly declare their bisexuality)

A resource you might want to try are your local "kink" communities ... BDSM / Kink-Groups (at least in my experience) are usually much more open to bisexual / heteroflexible / gay men.

[VegasLee]

Few things to remember.

Swingers are no more open minded then anyone else. They are different minded. If it is something they don't want or want to deal with they are just as close minded as anyone else.

In the "male" world of swingers, most feel a bi-male is a gay male yet a bi women is just more fun.

It has got better over the years but many/most men don't or won't admit if they are bi.

There are MANY bi men at most swing clubs and parties though. They just tend to stay behind closed doors.

That is the real world.

[jessicat78]

I agree with what VegasLee has said.

The lifestyle IS open, some of the people in it ARE NOT. And, yes, that is the real world. Jess and I both list as Bisexual. Does it hinder the amount of people who contact us? Perhaps. BUT, the people who do contact us are more compatible with our sexual likes and dislikes anyway, so it really is a win-win.

:-) Lance & Jess

[Lascivious L&L]

What Jessicat and VegasLee say is right on. When you are looking for males, it makes almost no difference if you list as bi, as you've found. The two major differences it does make is eliminating those who have a serious bisexuality aversion, and it inspires all "straight" males who respond to you think about male bisexuality and may result in a willingness to explore their own in a safe and discrete manner.

That's why I would recommend listing yourself as at least bi-curious. It may actually improve the quality of the responses you get. If you're primarily looking for couples, there are those who are male bi averse. Personally I'd rather not play with even in a foursome with those whose sexuality is limited by bi aversions. Plenty of straight couples have no such aversions as long as they are assured you recognize that they're straight.