Appeal of first timers

[kandoo]

Hello,

I've seen many postings of people warning against or preferring not to be with people just starting or thinking about the lifestyle. Mostly because of potential for drama, jelousy or too many rules or you name it.. I was wondering if there are some that find newbie couples rather appealing?
Say you see a couple at a club, they look a little nervous or inexperienced ( however that looks). But its obvious they are new to this, after talking to them they seem normal and there is no obvious warning signs or red flags. Would you 1. Still stay away from playing with them. 2. Be motivated to the fact they are new to this and want to show them the ropes (so to say). 3. don't care if they are new or not.

My wife says she has a certain fantasy about having sex with a virgin. To be his first experience, take him under her wing and to make it the best she can for him. So Similar to this, does anyone feel the same when playing with a new couple for their first time?

[JustAskJulie]

We don't really care if a couple is new or not. If we all click and they don't seem to be bearing any drama (or cause for) we will go for it.

[BiloxiCouple]

Virgin swinger sex with no drama?

[CXXC]

I can see the appeal for the newbies. It is a lot like playing Russian roulette. Some people get off on taking chances. We don’t go out of our way to avoid them as we were once new ourselves. However, we try to make EVERYONE, new and experienced feel comfortable with us. Being new is only a matter when the rules and or feelings have not been discussed in advance.
(Watch as I spin the revolver!)

[theboy]

Hello,

I've seen many postings of people warning against or preferring not to be with people just starting or thinking about the lifestyle. Mostly because of potential for drama, jelousy or too many rules or you name it.. I was wondering if there are some that find newbie couples rather appealing?
Say you see a couple at a club, they look a little nervous or inexperienced ( however that looks). But its obvious they are new to this, after talking to them they seem normal and there is no obvious warning signs or red flags. Would you 1. Still stay away from playing with them. 2. Be motivated to the fact they are new to this and want to show them the ropes (so to say). 3. don't care if they are new or not.

My wife says she has a certain fantasy about having sex with a virgin. To be his first experience, take him under her wing and to make it the best she can for him. So Similar to this, does anyone feel the same when playing with a new couple for their first time?

We've been known for being one of the first couples to go up and say hello to new people at dances and such. It's been quite a mixed-bag. We've met some really fantastic people that have been great to us, we've had some good experiences, and some.... less than good.

Basically how I see new people, appeal wise, to swinging is pretty much the same as people that aren't new but maybe have never been to our club before, for example. "Ahh, more variety!"

We've gone so far as to take it slow and easy with new people as well. Is there a rush involved with showing someone 'the ropes'? Absolutely. We had a horrible first time and enjoy showing others a great first time

It's very much a case-by-case basis I think now. We just were contacted by a fairly new couple on SLS and given their responses I don't think we'll pursue it past chat - I don't think they're ready for what they want to do.

[MrkLin]

I'm with Julie on this one - all things being equal, if we click on other levels, the fact that they're new to swinging shouldn't even enter into it.

[HoneyB]

We got picked up our first time specifically because we were first timers...we thought the welcome wagon was pretty, um, welcoming at our club.

[twoforone100]

We agree with julie..... new or old does not matter... if we click then we are happy.

[Speed & Trixie]

Virgin swinger sex with no drama?

ya know, Speed and I are still newbies....

I'm just sayin' I think we're worth spinning that chamber, but I am biased. And horny.

Trixie

[Hedonismo]

Whew! I was getting worried for a minute that maybe no one will want us because we are newbies, I hadn't thought that angle before, so after reading the header I am grateful to see the answers. I have zero experience with swinging (yet) but it seems it would be the same as regular interactions, you either click with people or you don't. Crazy, creepy, dishonest comes in swinging/not swinging varieties!

[hands4fun]

When we first started swing a few years ago we avoided new couples, figuring that couples that had been there and done that would have less drama and issues.That being said, now that we have been in the lifestyle for some time we enjoy showing new couples the ropes and not only at play time. We are very open and share what has worked for us and what hasn't and give them all the advice we can, but we also warn them to take it with a grain of salt because they are not us and we are not them. We enjoy being the ones in the know and are having so much fun in the lifestyle we want to share it, almost like a thank you to the couples who have helped us along the way.

On a side note, when we are out in the vanilla world at a club or what not, sometimes we make a game outta trying to convert some vanillas and bring them over to our team. We haven't been able to do that quite yet, but have been close a few times. Hell maybe we did and just don't know it. Might have got the ball rolling so to speak and planted the seed. We have met on vanilla couple lately who know we are swingers and they were very forward about giving us there phone number so we could go out to dinner and clubbing with them again.

[corynlaine]

I have to ask, what do you all mean by drama?
We're new and looking. We have set limits.
Are you saying that all you "experienced" people never run into a situation where you thought everything was OK but got a weird vibe in the middle of it or just changed your mind for whatever reason.?

[kandoo]

What is meant by drama. It could be any number of things but for example, one person of the couple is obviously not into it and may be pressured by their partner to be there. Signs of jelousy, a couple that may not be on the same page with their own rules.

[good times]

Are you saying that all you "experienced" people never run into a situation where you thought everything was OK but got a weird vibe in the middle of it or just changed your mind for whatever reason.?

Sure that happens all the time, I admit though, most of the time when we get the weird vibe or decide to call it quits mid-play, it is usually with newbies. We rarely have anything like that happen when playing with experienced couples.

And to the original question, while we don't think their is any special appeal to newbies we don't avoid them either.

[JustAskJulie]

I can see the appeal for the newbies. It is a lot like playing Russian roulette. Some people get off on taking chances. We don’t go out of our way to avoid them as we were once new ourselves. However, we try to make EVERYONE, new and experienced feel comfortable with us. Being new is only a matter when the rules and or feelings have not been discussed in advance.
(Watch as I spin the revolver!)

From my experience, you are playing russian roulette just as much with "experienced" swingers as you are with newbies. It's just a matter of taking a little time to get a feel for them and how comfortable they really are with themselves, each other, swinging and YOU.