This is the key to your question in my/our eyes. Like you I am a retail business owner, Mrs. Stays at home. We deal with families, sponsor kids sports and are somewhat high profile. We are very cautious about who we play with. Although you would think that most of us are here for the same thing. Some People can be treachorous. Some people in the lifestyle have nothing to lose by being outted. Some people in the lifestyle are open about it. Some of these people can't keep a secret. Some people join just to see who's a swinger and "have" something on their neighbor. , because as you said they have nothing better to do. My advice is that if you have something to lose by being outted, play away from home.