Thinking back on one of my earliest experiences - I've had several friends comment, "Why'd you ever go back to this lifestyle?"
Very early on... as I was just discovering the swinger-lifestyle, I searched around for local groups in my area. Discovered one (which I shall leave un-named) and chatted a bit with the gal who hosted the group.
She let me know that she was going to be having a hotel-party a few weeks later and I was invited. There was a small donation required to attend... but I was okay with that - considering it was a hotel and those costs had to be offset somehow, right?
So, I arrived ... and things were fairly... ahem... intimidating.
Not only was the party fairly packed with lots of other guys... most of them were rather ...ahem... large black men. And it seemed as though they all knew each other - then I noticed, the porno playing on the TV ... and the fellas in the movie were the same guys there at the party!
Lemme tell y'all... a small asian guy (I'm only 5' 8") in a room full of black men at a swingers party?? Damn, I felt like every bad stereotype in the universe was working against me that evening.
I didn't know anyone there... so I pretty much kept to myself. I struck up a few conversations with some of the gals there... but was too scared to step up and do much of anything else.
Finally, it started getting close to the end of the night - I stuck around and chatted with a few folk (including one gal who basically told everyone flat out - if they ain't got at least 10", don't even bother her) ... and one of the gals at the party noticed that I hadn't played at all that evening.
I explained how it was my first time... how nervous I was... and she was very kind and took me off to a private room where she gave me a blowjob and we played for a little bit.
I think if that gal hadn't come to me that night... I probably would never have gone back to another hotel party again.
Sadly, I've lost track of that gal - and never did get the chance to explain how much her friendliness and warmth meant towards giving this lifestyle a second chance ... or a third... or a fourth... or how being a part of this has been a great experience and how many friends it has provided me over the years.