Common Courtesy and Common Sense

[OhioCouple]

This has been bugging me for weeks now. I am curious to know if anyone else has this problem.

We have our profile listed on a paysite, one in which the intent is to meet other people for potential swinging. A little over a month ago or so, we changed our profile to read that we are not swinging or meeting new people at this time. The type of site we belong to is one that we are a paid lifetime member, so deleting the profile isn't a reasonable option.

Without fail we get on the average of 3-5 responses a week that just don't bother to read that very first line. As we do write everyone back as a courtesy, we explain to them what they obviously couldn't read the first tiime around, wish them the best, etc. Lo and behold though at least one of those are going to write back and either plead their case or be very rude and crass to the point of telling us how awful we look, critiquing the generic information, or tell us we are game players. I don't get it? We didn't originate the contact, they did. Not answering them doesn't always work either. Sometimes the hate mail from that is even worse.

Just this morning there is a brand spanking new one that just reeks of being this weeks creme de la asshole. He speaks with his 8 1/2" fully cut cock and her with her 40 DD's who is just aching to try bi and asks if we are available Saturday night. They promise we won't be disappointed. They give us their IM addresses, and get this, a phone number! To someone they don't even know who isn't even swinging right now! UGH! I am half tempted to call them just to play games with these senseless dweebs.

Okay, I'm finished venting. Does anyone else have similar problems and if so, how do you handle it?

Lori

[ciscosv]

Hi OhioCouple. The fact is there are very ignorant people in this world. The type that has never heard the word "no" from mommy & daddy.

How would we handle it? We would avoid them.

[naughty A]

Wow Lori,

that is amazing that you are having such a rough experience with these people.

There was a time that we withdrew from the lifestyle as well.

I talked to the organizers of the site and had them list my address as "temporarily unavailable" - I realize that this is not an option in your case.

For the people that still managed to get through and there were still quite a few.

I had a little form letter thing that explained briefly the circumstances - due to illness within our family we were choosing to focus our energies yadda yadda

I got tons of positive responses - best wishes, sympathy, offers of prayers etc.

sorry you are having a rough time.

A.

[Close Encounters]

If removing your profile is not an option simply change the email address to a bogus one. Even the dumbest person will recognize a returned mail.

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by Close Encounters
If removing your profile is not an option simply change the email address to a bogus one. Even the dumbest person will recognize a returned mail.

Actually the site is self contained with their email system, therefore we cannot change that either. It would have been a great option though.

The way it works is that we are sent an email from the site letting us know that we have a message waiting to be picked up on that site. We could always just not check them, but we do still correspond with the many friends we have made from there. Only a small handfull have our personal address, but we wouldn't want to discount the others that we haven't yet met in person but have corresponded with for a while prior to curtailing our swinging. I don't mean to make it all sound terrible. There are quite a few that are out of state which we met at a group function last year that contact us from time to time and we have had several new couples that have contacted us that we would absolutely consider getting to know better. Those that have written though, stated in their message that although the realized we were not swinging at the time, they hoped our situations improved and asked that we would perhaps consider getting to know them better in the future. One of the couples we are corresponding with, just generalized chatting now and then with the full realization on both parts that we don't know when we will resume. They seem like great people.

It is just such a headache dealing with the senseless people.

Here is the line in our profile. Perhaps some advice could be offered on how to make it more affective.

*********UPDATE....WE ARE CURRENTLY NOT MEETING ANY NEW COUPLES DUE TO FAMILY ISSUES WHICH ARE OCCUPYING OUR WAKING HOURS. PLEASE DO NOT BE OFFENEDED IF WE DO NOT RETURN AN EMAIL TO YOU IN A TIMELY MANNER. WE ANSWER ALL MAIL TOGETHER AND OUR SCHEDULES DO NOT ALLOW MUCH TIME FOR THAT RIGHT NOW*******


Thanks all, for your advice.

Lori

[Roxysbayou]

Lori, I think your statement should say enough, If they can't respect that, then I wouldn't bother. You have even advertised that you may not respond. I had a bad experience on one of those sites too. The one that we belong to has a feature that allows us to at least block out the total A-holes. Have you trie dasking the webmaster if she can at least remove or suspend your profile temporarily?

[JustAskJulie]

I'm with Roxy. I wouldn't bother responding at all to those who can't bother to actually read your profile before responding.

The only thing I might suggest is to take your profile a step further and remove everything else from it except for that line.

[BradAndJanet]

Originally posted by OhioCouple
...
Here is the line in our profile. Perhaps some advice could be offered on how to make it more affective.

*********UPDATE....WE ARE CURRENTLY NOT MEETING ANY NEW COUPLES DUE TO FAMILY ISSUES WHICH ARE OCCUPYING OUR WAKING HOURS. PLEASE DO NOT BE OFFENEDED IF WE DO NOT RETURN AN EMAIL TO YOU IN A TIMELY MANNER. WE ANSWER ALL MAIL TOGETHER AND OUR SCHEDULES DO NOT ALLOW MUCH TIME FOR THAT RIGHT NOW*******
...

My gosh, Lori, I don't see how it could be any more clear than that, what with the caps and all.

I sure don't understand some people, and I suppose I never will. I'll tell you one thing though: we won't respond at all to emails like the one you received. People who feel the need to brag about the sizes of various parts of their anatomy elicit mostly laughter from us, but not return email.

-B

[bill&sabrina]

We are having a similar problem but on a smaller scale. Sabrina and I are expecting our second child in May. We changed our profile on a personals site to let people know that we won't be playing for a while and we even tell them why. Just like you though we get mail from people not even courteous enough to read the first line. I have stopped responding to people that just see a profile and ask if we want to swing with them. My opinion is that if people don't take the time to read a profile they shouldn't expect someone to take the time to respond to them.

[OhioCouple]

We ended up doing as Julie suggested and removed everything with the exception of that line and the fact that we were male/female. (Oh, we did leave our pictures as I can't duplicate them again.)

We did not answer the last yahoo's and the only mail we have received have been from those that we have normally had contact with for some time and are a pleasure to hear from. I don't know why I didn't think of doing that sooner.

I suppose I just don't understand the mentality of some people. We would never write to someone without fully reading their ad. In our opinion, those that don't just reek of desparation and aren't the type of people we are looking for anyway.

Lori

[MIbbwcpl]

We had a similar problem on a pay site w/ someone being rude. Our profile clearly stated how far we were willing to travel. Our first e-mail was from a couple well out of our travel range (we were willing for 50 and I believe they were 150 away) and I politely told them, ty but you're too far away for us to meet. The next contact I recieve from them was all about how we must be ashamed to meet them because they are skinny and we are fat. We are both large, but that had NOTHING to do w/ our decision-they were too far away!!! I forwarded the message to the site owner since it was out of line IMO. Perhaps you should try the same thing if that is an option, if you're paying for the service you shouldn't have to deal w/ jerks IMO.

Good luck!

[OhioCouple]

I just don't get it. We removed EVERYTHING but one paragraph from our profile which clearly states we are not meeting new people. We are still averaging about one new mail a week. The one from this morning just really yanks my chain.

"Hi, we really love your profile and will be in your area on Saturday May 17 and would love to meet with you. You look like an attractive couple and it appears we share some common interests. Love your second picture.

Let us know, thanks"

I'm not sure whether to feel insulted or just giggle myself silly. Now it wouldn't be so bad if they were NEW members, but these folks have been on this site since 2000.

So are we a NOTHING couple since we have NOTHING in our profile, and since we share common interests, we share a whole lot of NOTHING, with another NOTHING couple? The only other thing that we could possibly have in common other than NOTHING are "family issues"... Thanks but, no thanks, I have enough of my own.

AAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!

Lori

[Brit_Pair]

Plucking an idea out of the air, is it possible these people saw your advert *before* you decided to remove all the details, thought it of interest, and then saved it to their hard-drive? Their email might have been based on that, rather than your current, emaciated profile.

Alternatively, they could just be people who are one sandwich short of a picnic.

[Roxysbayou]

Lori, I have gotten replies on our paysite (I think its the same one as yours from what it sounds) from the same people like 10 times. And it always says the same thing, word for word. I am wondering if somehow they are spamming the site. Maybe they just go through all the profiles in the same area with a generic reply. One guy e-mailed us at least once a week for well over a month, each letter was exactly the same. I finally had to block him.

I know that it is frustrating...maybe if you go into your "what I'm looking for feature" and take off single men and couples just leaving single females. This will block them from even seeing your profile in a search , except for the fems but how many of them are on there?...lol.

[fun_pairTX]

If someone doesn't take the polite hint we simply block their email. Life is too short to bother with fools that can't understand NO.