Finding Swingers at Weddings

[sahajacpl]

We recently attended a wedding followed by reception at a swank hotel, out of town. As we watched the ceremony and then mingled with many great looking couples over cocktails and snacks, our instinct was to guess how many swingers there might be in attendance. Many women were so gorgeously dressed that it inspired a strong desire to play with the couple/s and swap mates for full range of sexual actiities, intercourse included. Since many attendees including the two of us stayed overnight at the hotel, it could have been a night of exciting partner exchange for sex.

Of course, we were too timid to inquire, and, also did not know how to query disreetly, if the couple would want to swing, play and swap mates during the night after the reception, for sexual activities, including full-blown sexual intercourse with each other's mate. Having booked rooms at the same hotel would have facilitated the swinging and partner sexual exchange, same room or separate rooms. Just imagine getting up next morning after a night of sex play and intercourse with each other's partner and then having breakfast with the couple with a broad smile on everyone's face.

Since there were 150 couples in all, at least 3 or 4 couples (2-3%) must be swingers who might want to play, we thought. This was for all purposes as far as we know a vanilla wedding. Neither the wedding couple in their 30s, nor the parents on either side, are swingers to our knowledge.

The purpose in posting this thread is to find out how many of you lifestyler couples have been in a similar situation and how did you go about identifying the swinger couples. It need not be a wedding reception. It could as well have been a vanilla party of some kind. Four questions:

1. What strategy did you or would you use to identify those couples willing to swing? What quesions did you or would you ask with discretion?

2. Were you successful in playing, swapping mates and copulating for intercourse with the other couple's spouse, friend or significant other?

3. If your tried and did not succeed in swinging with the couple for sexual activities, what would you do differently.

4. What suggestions do you have for us for the next wedding we attend so we improve chances of meeting, playing, mating and partner swapping for sexual play with intercourse in mind.

[fun4Ds]

Why not just go to a club ?

I know we have many times had a look around many vanilla activities. Yes we wonder, and hope, but we just don't want to mess with people that might spread rumors quickly.

In other places we look and wonder but we still don't put it out there.

We don't want to be banned from Wall Mart .

[sahajacpl]

Why not just go to a club ?

At a club finding a couple to swing with is a cinch. At a wedding or a vanilla meet, it's the excitement of finding a needle in a haystack!

It's the search or the journey that makes the destination (partner swap) so much more exciting.

[VegasLee]

As an invited quest to someones wedding unless I knew for a fact they are swingers this is not something I would want to do.

Pick the wrong person, say the wrong thing and I can see all kinds of drama. I would not want to be responsible for that type of memory at someones wedding.

Looking around and admiring is one thing, acting on it at a wedding I just could not do.

[JustAskJulie]

We often find ourselves looking around at vanilla activities and wondering "are they swingers?". It's a fun pasttime, much like people watching in general but with a new added layer.

As Lee pointed out, as an invited guest I don't think it would be a good idea to even broach the subject at someone else's wedding. Think about it, if 1 couple out of 50 swingers... that's 49 times you might ask the wrong one.

As for how you might broach it if you were going to? If you had had a chance to hit it off with a few of the couples, you might
a) invited them back to your room for drinks after the reception
b) if you had a room with a hot tub, invite them back for a soak.

Or like Fun4Ds said.... instead, after the reception is over, change clothes and just go find a swinger club where you don't have to wonder.

[Johnny Deep]

I think that the international signal should be the question ( Where is the HOT TUB ) Then the answer should be ( Where ever you need it ) Come on people it shouldn't be too hard to figure out, Just look for the SEXY people, make eye contact and start a conversation. Let them know that you think they are HOT in a nice way, Invite them over for more drinks, Make sure that you are very friendly. You will be surprised at the results! Always make sure that you have plenty of condoms!!!!!

[Greg & Sheryl]

We've heard that weddings are great occasions for a single person to hook up with a member of the opposite sex, but trying to pick up swingers in any type of a vanilla setting is asking for trouble. The next time you go out of town, research the clubs in that area before you go.

[Edison Carter]

Ed here-- Don't try hunting deer in a field of rabbit.

[sahajacpl]

Ed here-- Don't try hunting deer in a field of rabbit.

All great comments and suggestions. We are looking for more. Just shows how open and creative we are as swingers.

[VegasLee]

Just shows how open and creative we are as swingers.

Not to hijack this thread and Julie might want to move this, her choice.

Take no offense to what I am about to say as none is meant.

When does open and creative become disrespectful and irresponsible to those not in the lifestyle by being "open and creative" in none Swinging environments?

We saw something like that at the conventions in Vegas. Seems some "swingers" had the desire to "play" in the casinos and the cafe that are open to the general public. Those same people got upset because they were told to stop and some of those casinos now do not want to host Swingers Conventions.

[ktimephoenix]

I think that respectful would be... if the conversation turns towards sex, then discussing swinging (OMG did you see that episode of friends where joey was a swinger) isn't disrespectful. it should be pretty easy to guage the peoples responses from that. we were at a vanilla BBQ, and our close friends, who know we are into swinging wanted to see the reaction of the other couples there, so brought it up as an innocent topic of conversation, without implicating us.

needless to say, only 1 couple was completely against swinging, most the others were curious about what happens at events and how they'd cope with jealousy, and a few people even said they'd consider swinging. all without offending anyone.

now bending another couple over the punchbowl or wedding cake, or trying to convince the bride to have sex with the entire male population of the event would be disrespectful

[sahajacpl]

I think that respectful would be... if the conversation turns towards sex, then discussing swinging (OMG did you see that episode of friends where joey was a swinger) isn't disrespectful. it should be pretty easy to guage the peoples responses from that. we were at a vanilla BBQ, and our close friends, who know we are into swinging wanted to see the reaction of the other couples there, so brought it up as an innocent topic of conversation, without implicating us.

needless to say, only 1 couple was completely against swinging, most the others were curious about what happens at events and how they'd cope with jealousy, and a few people even said they'd consider swinging. all without offending anyone.

now bending another couple over the punchbowl or wedding cake, or trying to convince the bride to have sex with the entire male population of the event would be disrespectful

Great observation and suggestion! If the conversation is properly and innocently framed, it need not cause any disrepect. We suspect that with the recent shows (Oprah) and publicity on TV networks, most couples are quite aware that swinging is fast becoming an acceptable social/sexual activity amongst couples, married or otherwise. Therefore, the act of swapping mates with another couple for the purpose of sexual intercourse does not carry anymore the stigma associated in the near past. As you say most couples are curious about swinging at the minumum, and , perhaps willing to try swapping mates, given the opportunity.

By the way, while we were having dinner, someone at the next table said something like "and what about swinging". Perhaps, that was the topic at their table.

So no one is suggesting that you announce over the mike, or, ask each and every couple present at the reception, if they swing. An innocent conversation, properly and respectfully phrased, may and may not pay dividends. But, that's the name of the game. If it works, great. If it does not nothing is lost. And the couple or couples that are already in the lifestyle are sure to take the cue and may ask "where and when do we meet".