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Thread: Age Limitations

  1. #1

    Default Age Limitations

    Since we have no clubs around here, we meet most of our potential play partners online.

    On SLS, there are age limits on each persons profile. There is a couple on there that we both find very attractive. They are about 20 years or so younger than us and we fall out of their age range. We're both brave enough to email them and tell them, "We're out of your stated age range, however, we both find you very attractive and wonder if...."

    Does this deter you in contacting a couple if you're out of that range?
    Do you go ahead and tell them you find them attractive even though you're out of their age range?
    Is your age range set in stone?
    Do you meet people out of your age range?
    Dave & Holly

  2. #2

    Default Re: Age Limitations

    All they can tell you is "no".
    It's very difficult for us to be offended by people telling us that they find us attractive...

  3. #3

    Default Re: Age Limitations

    Quote Originally Posted by LFM2 View Post

    We're both brave enough to email them and tell them, "We're out of your stated age range, however, we both find you very attractive and wonder if...."
    If by "wonder if" you mean to ask if they would consider meeting, I say go ahead. Me personally, I like knowing someone writes for more reasons than "we find you attractive" - I like to know it's more than physical and that they found something in our profile that they connected with and because of those things they are interested in meeting.

    Does this deter you in contacting a couple if you're out of that range? It does. But we still write sometimes. We first consider how far out of their preferred age range we are. You haven't mentioned that, are you 5 - 10 - 20 years off their age cap?

    Do you go ahead and tell them you find them attractive even though you're out of their age range? As I said above, telling someone they're attractive is easy. They have probably got lots of those, tell them more that will make your message stand out.

    Is your age range set in stone? The ages we list aren't set in stone, but we know from experience the range we list usually fits us best.

    Do you meet people out of your age range? We haven't, but our youngest age listed is 20 years younger than my husband, and the oldest listed is 5 years younger than my husband.


  4. #4

    Default Re: Age Limitations

    Seems like most people who are cool with a wide age range for playmates tend to list a pretty wide range. When they pick a number they have their reasons. If we were close to the age they listed we might do what you suggested, and say "if you like our profile, send us a hello".
    Tell the people you love how you feel, and do what your heart tells you.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Age Limitations

    Our age ranges are definately not set in stone. We have an age range set simply because we don't want it to list everyone 18-99... and because to be honest I do look at 18-25 and a neon sign flashes that says "too young"... no matter how hot they may be. Now if I met them in person and they appeared more mature than the age that is listed on their profile it may be another story.

    Shopping for play partners online is such a different thing than doing so in person.

  6. #6

    Default Re: Age Limitations

    Our age ranges aren't set in stone, so if we got such an email, we'd do what we always do--treat that couple as individuals, and make our decisions from there. No harm in giving it a try. Worst case scenario: they say no/ignore you.

    I'd rather go to hell for doing something I enjoyed than heaven wondering what it's like.

  7. #7

    Default Re: Age Limitations

    Go ahead and send them an e-mail. Curiously, we've discovered many more playmates several years (heck, even decades) younger that we are. The real difficulty is finding playmates within our own age group who are not "been there, done that" so they still want to play and explore. The age differences may be very entertaining if taken with the proper outlook by both couples. The worst that can happen is you either don't get a response, or the response you get it negative. Nothing ventured, nothing gained!

    Good luck.

    Let us know the outcome, ok?

  8. #8
    Educated Posterior Pensacolapair's Avatar
    Couple - He (M )posts, She (G) vetos as required
    SLS Handle

    Default Re: Age Limitations

    Our point of view probably comes from a different place than most who will respond to these questions as we are comfortably outside of the upper age range for at least 75% of the couples on SLS including, strangely enough, those who are the same age as we are (and older..)...said limit being the big Five-Oh. Few things within the lifestyle make us shake our heads one minute and laugh the next than the whole age issue. To the questions:

    Does this deter you in contacting a couple if you're out of that range?
    Absolutely. The way we see it, there is a reason that they set their age preferences there - and if it was important enough for them to draw their line there, we should respect that. That's how we view any stated preference in a profile. It annoys us whenever someone tries to convince us to ignore our stated preferences, so we refuse to ask others to ignore theirs.

    Do you go ahead and tell them you find them attractive even though you're out of their age range? Would
    If compliments for compliments sake is your thing, go for it. But otherwise our question would be "To what expected end...?" The best example we would have is that we've often seen profiles of seriously sexy (picture-wise) couples who had "We don't swing outside of our race" or "No Blacks" also on their profile ( setting aside that as an issue of it's own) - should we take a shot that complementing them might inspire them to make an exception in our case? Sorry, we're neither that arrogant or naive.

    Is your age range set in stone? No, it isn't...because as we have gotten older we've adjusted it accordingly. Therefore, it's very easy to adhere to.

    Do you meet people out of your age range? This one gets tricky - Our answer is if both of them are outside of our range, no. However, the scenario that we have actually encountered more often is where one of them is outside of our range (SLS doesn't take this into account). That subtle point can make a difference, because in our opinion it changes some of the dynamics involved.

    A question that wasn't asked here that we have been asked before along these same lines is What would you do if approached by someone whose age limits you fall out of? As this is what we encounter quite often...our answer is always that it depends on their approach. By it's self, it's not a deal-breaker because they are choosing to temporarily amend their preference - but suprisingly it often gets compounded on by other 'things-that-make-ya-go-hmmm..."
    "When you're up to your ass in alligators, it's hard to remember that you came to drain the swamp!"

  9. #9

    Default Re: Age Limitations

    Wow, hard question to answer.

    The reason I say that is that you say this couple is 20 years younger than you. You didn't say what their age range was though, which is the more important consideration, in my view.

    In general though, if we fall outside someones range, no we would not contact them. The reason for that is, we respect where they set their limit.

    You ask if our age range is set in stone. Well, it is, and it isn't. For the purpose of someone contacting us, it definitely is. Have we met folks outside that range? Yes, we have even played with folks outside our stated age range. The reason I consider it set in stone though is because my biggest pet peeve about all the folks that contact us on the ad sites is, it is obvious, most of them don't read our profile. So if you were to write us, the first thing we do is check your age/height/weight, then we look at your pictures, if all that matches we read your profile. As you can see, as soon as we opened your profile and saw that you weren't in our stated age range, we would assume you didn't read our profile and would have deleted your email without a response. Now, I'll be honest, if we saw your pictures and you were ultra super hot, we might respond, but most likely we wouldn't because we would figure you never read our profile.
    R (He is R, she is P)

  10. #10
    Better than Ice Cream two4youinswva's Avatar
    Couple. He posts, She reads

    Default Re: Age Limitations

    Does this deter you in contacting a couple if you're out of that range?
    Yeah, for us it does. We just take them for their word that they aren't looking for someone our age.

    Is your age range set in stone?
    Not really. We have a bit of a wide strike zone as to what our limits are set, plus we state in our profile that the age range is flexible.

    Do you meet people out of your age range?
    Yeah, we have and will. Since the majority of our play partners are met at a club, we usually don't get discussing what our ages are until we enjoy a little after-sex chat time.
    "Like Johnny and June"

  11. #11

    Default Re: Age Limitations

    We have an age range on our profile, but it is by no means set in stone. It doesn't seem allot of others are either. Although I'm 42 I've been lucky enough to play with early 20's women because Mrs. WS is 32 and the couple is near her age. Overall though, we just take everybody in a case-by-case manner and try not to make an prejudgments about them because of anything in their stats.

    Mr. WS
    "Sex is something you do, sexuality is something you are." ~ Anna Freud
    Blog: Bigger Love

  12. #12

    Default Re: Age Limitations

    We don't have a hard age range for our playmates and wouldn't rule out potential playmates solely due to their age. Over the years, we've had excellent adventures with folks as young as 20 and up to their late 60s.

    S and L, Hot Raleigh Cpl

  13. #13

    Default Re: Age Limitations

    First, If there is an age range you are generally looking for online, you should search for profiles in that age range that interest you and that your age is included in their stated age range.

    Do you go ahead and tell them you find them attractive even though you're out of their age range?
    Does this deter you in contacting a couple if you're out of that range?
    If you are unsucsseful in that everytime, I would not contact people just because you are interested in a specific age range. However if you were to come accross one occassionaly that you were just nuts over their profile, it might be ok. However, let me define occassionally. Occassionaly is not once a week, not once a month, and definitly not once a day. If someone on the outside of you and your SO would probably feel the need to put a limit of time in between or the number of times meeting people where you are outside of their age range, it is probably not occassional.

    On to the occasional contact:

    We tend to stick within our age range, but sometimes it seems somewhat broad IMO. We definitly meet people outside of our age range in clubs, but I don't know that I go out of my way to meet people outside of our age range online. We only passively look at profiles, and have come to the point where we tend to prefer meeting people in group settings such as clubs or scheduled events (It really takes the edge off if we don't click). However, I'm sure if we saw a profile that we just went nuts over and that we were outside the age range we would probably would discuss it briefly, and if we both felt the same way, we would send a short brief polite email. I'm going to caution this with, "As indicated before, Do Not Make a habbit of Contacting People that You are Outside of Their Age Range." However it would probably be along the lines of:

    "We noticed your profile, and we may be slightly outside your age range, however we thought your profile was interesting, attractive, etc... whatever."

    I wouldn't ask to meet, I wouldn't tell them to check out our profile (they probably will do that out of curiosity), I would just leave it at that. If they look at your profile, and they are interested in being friends or anything beyond that, they will reply. If they don't reply or they send a negative answer, you should assume they are not interested, and you should not attempt to contact them again. To remember who you've contacted (if that is an issue), I know SLS has a place to put notes, you should probably note on the profile that you have previously contacted the person with no response.

    However, be prepared for no response or a negative response, because afterall you are going against their stated wishes even if they are being forced by the website to define them. Who know's they may have just stuck a number out there because they had to, or they may actually have actual defined age limits. After all we I think most of have limits, but they aren't always an age.

    Is your age range set in stone?
    Obviously from the age range question above, our age range is not set in stone. But we do tend to usually be attracted to individuals closer to our age range.

    One more note:
    It may sound cliche, but
    no means no.
    Last edited by ownerspet; 05-13-2008 at 07:39 AM.

    Crazy Donkey!

  14. #14

    Default Re: Age Limitations

    Age is more a state of mind than what is physical. That being said, a 20 year difference is difficult to overcome due to the extra life experiences the older couple has. But if you are in a rural area, you have to take more chances. Just be up front with them. Let you know you saw the age restriction, but responded anyway. State your reasons... finding them attractive and make sure you indicate you won't mind playing with someone old enough (biologically anyway) to be your son or daughter. And, since you indicated that your area is not highly populated with other lifestyle avenues, they should be a little more open minded to an attractive couple regardless of age.
    Homo sapiens are not meant to be monogamous

  15. #15

    Default Re: Age Limitations

    Thanks for the varied responses.

    This really wasn't about us, but wondered what you would all do? We know what we'd do or what we've done in the past. Yes, we do email them, but not to play or anything else except to be nice. We might comment on their pictures or that they write a nice profile. We just have a really hard time thinking someone would be offended because we told them they have a nice profile or their pictures are appealing. We don't add offers to meet or play.
    Dave & Holly

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