Oct. 4 - Dr. Phil's gonna be talkin' about swinging

[LFM2]

On Thursday, the 4th of October. People are already starting to talk about it on his website and the one post I read said nothing good about it, but from what I read, it was nothing about swinging, just cheating.

Go here to Dr. Phil and see what you think. This link takes you to his talking boards and you can write your opinion if you want.

Sometimes, it really chaps my ass when people have no idea how we really conduct our lives or how our relationships really are. They find, somehow, two "swingers" who reveal how swinging has ruined their lives. Blah! You'll even find that one guy wants to swing and his wife thinks it's disgusting, but she's afraid he'll leave her if she doesn't... A story we've read more than once here.

[WesternSwing]

I'll set the DVR to record his show, and I'll reserve judgment until after I see it. But you are right about how people prejudge what others do, and how the media only shows one side of a story.

I think because of personal insecurities, people have an innate need to "be better" than everyone else. To do so they have to find fault in everybody around them. Kind of a "I can't be good unless you are bad" thing. Truth be told, these "goody-two-shoes" probably have really screwed-up and dysfunctional lives, they're just not broadcast publicly.

Of course you always hear about how swinging "ruined their marriage" because happy swingers don't go on television, exposing their private life to the world. All you hear from is the unhappy ones. I always have to look at them though and think "You're not telling the real reason your marriage disintegrated because it's easier to blame it on something or someone else than to look inward and see where you fucked-up." It's always easier to feed other people your shit than to eat it yourself.

Same with marriage counselors and other "relationship experts". Nobody pays $100/hr to go to a marriage counselor when they're happy. Marriage counselors only hear from the ones who's marriages are about to implode or already have. A counselor worth their weight in goose down would be able to pick through the BS of this-and-that and get to the real reason their marriage fell apart, and usually the thing that lead them to think having sex with other people would magically "fix" their broken marriage. But that reason is mundane, repeated over and over, and seldom as dramatic and interesting as the swinging angle. So that is what the "experts" write articles on, go on Dr. Phil with, etc.

Who knows, maybe Dr. Phil will say something positive. After all, he is in Oprah's back pocket and she didn't say anything really negative about swinging in her segment on it a couple of years ago.

Mr. WS

[Tybee Swing]

Here's the blurb on the site:

Thursday - October 4, 2007

Secrets in the Suburbs
How well do you think you know your neighbors, your friends and even your child's teacher? It is estimated that four to eight million people in North America are swinging in the suburbs -- mostly middle-class folks from all walks of life. Dr. Phil gives you a closer look at who these couples are that engage in sex with other twosomes. First up, Nita and Walter have been swinging for the last 12 years. They say they are happy in the lifestyle, so why is it causing tension in their relationship? Then, Brent says he has a strong yearning for him and his wife, Renee, to participate in a threesome. Renee says the idea disgusts her, but worries that if she refuses to join in, Brent will leave her. They fight constantly, often dragging their 17-year-old son into the middle of their chaos. Brent says he thinks about having threesomes every other day, but says that his desire is normal. What does Dr. Phil think? And, Dr. Phil viewers weigh in and share their thoughts about the swinging lifestyle.

I'll be most interested to hear the story that I highlighted, since that couple has so much experience in the lifestyle. I'd like to hear where they think they took a wrong turn, or what their problem is. The latter is just ridiculous, although sadly it does remind me so much of the male side of so many posts we get on this board, "How can I get my wife to...."

[MrsPandMe]

Heh.. If it's Dr. Phil you can bet he's not going to be a proponent of the Lifestyle. That being said, I wouldn't be too concerned about it. Most people who take what Dr. Phil has to say seriously would never consider swinging anyway.

Mr. P

[JustAskJulie]

Did anyone see if this is for sure a new episode? Or is it a repeat of this show which he also ended up doing a rebuttal show on. This was back in 2005 that he did this show.

Is it ratings season already!? That's good for us, hopefully Oprah and 20/20 will do another show as well. We always see a nice little traffic spike after those shows.

[WesternSwing]

Brent and Renee are the typical pre-problem couple where the issues are created when one member of the couple tries to coerce, manipulate or "convince" the other to do it.

Like you eluded to, Tybee, these couples are a dime-a-dozen and are really easy to find for a show like Dr. Phil's.

Mr. WS

[LikeMinds321]

I didn't read that long thread about the 2005 Dr Phil show that Julie brought forward, but I glided through it to see I hadn't posted on it. I never watched that 2005 show that I recall. I think I would have remembered it.

I wouldn't be surprised if he isn't bringing back that show, at least in part, because Oprah just had a swinger couple on last week in a new show - and we all know how these talk shows copycat each other. Hot topics!

From watching Dr Phil on and off over the years, I feel he's going to come down hard on swinging. I see him as a man who has his mind set on what he "thinks" it is and won't be open to presenting swinging in a way that will let the viewers decide for themselves what to think of it. Also, the couples he chooses for the show will make all the difference in how he'll get his viewers to receive them and the subject of swinging.

LM

[Alura]

Oh, good! There's another Dr. Phil show I can ignore.



Alura

[LOL_OMG]

Don't be surpised if they do these shows the same way they did all the other ones, Phil Donahue, Maury Povich, Jenny Jones etc., paying any idiot that wants their face on tv to come on up regardless if they are real or not. As stated a bit differently in previous posts, a 'fair shake' to those show is something made with vanilla and ice cream.

Mr. Lol

[TNT]

Ummm...Ted caught me cruising over to that other web site and informed me I was NOT to watch the show...I might get talked out of swinging ....I replied to him...more likely just get pissed off, more people talking about something they have no idea what they are talking about but hey...if I've got an hour to spare I might watch it, I like arguing with the T.V.

Teresa

[ShellyM]

I went on there and tried to email the show and it won't let me! Has anyone else tried to send an email and were not able to?
Shelly

[The Fuse]

I'll be TiVo-ing it. I used to like Dr. Phil in spite of his cheesiness because he boiled things down to their essentials and didn't let people get away with their bullshit. But I felt like he crested a while ago. I'm sure he "knows" that swinging is sick and wrong, and feel pretty sure we'll see negative, pre-judgmental coverage that doesn't allow happy swingers to explain themselves. But heck, I wouldn't go on the show, so I wouldn't expect other happy swingers to either if they didn't want to.

[ShellyM]

LOL, here is my email to the Dr. Phil show.

I am writing about the upcoming show on swinging in the suburbs. Number one, its called The Lifestyle. My husband of 16 years and myself are in the lifestyle and have been for 14 months. We love it. Are there bad points to swinging? Of course. Are there people here who should not be here? Of course! All segments of society have it's bad apples. We have met so many wonderful people out here. We are not pediphiles. We have high sex drives, yes. But you have NO IDEA how many husbands tell me that they only WISH their wives had the sex drive that I have, or enjoyed sex like women in the lifestyle do. Society is full of hypocrites. What we do is always between consentual adults. We do NOT cheat. We are honest with each other. This is why our marriage is strong. Society in it's hypocrisy would rather we sneak behind our spouse's back in secret, because as long as no one knows that is what is important. Because we choose to openly do this together we are thought of as freaks and "dirty". Well, society has told women that to love sex makes them bad girls for centuries....we just choose to say to hell with what society thinks (obviously the 70% divorce rate amongst non-swingers tells me that society is not a good judge of a what makes up a good, solid marriage) and do what makes us happy. This is not something that we share with our families, our children or our co-workers. We do not flaunt what we do in our bedroom. We are Girl Scout Moms, Cub Scout Dads. We are in the PTO. We are usually highly educated, wealthy tax paying citizens. We are NOT attempting to bring down society's moral system of order. If we were we would flaunt what we do. So I expect that your show, along with showing the horror stories with the crying wives, is going to show happy lifestyle couples such as myself and innumerable other couples who have done this for years. And YES, it was MY idea for us to enter the lifestyle. My husband did not force me, push me or try to convince me. It was MY IDEA. Thank you. Michelle Millington

[tammyanddan]

Nothing good will come out the show for swingers we all know that Dr Phil is into sensationalism just like most of his comtemporaries I tried to watch the show a few times and couldnt due to his bloated ideas, there is good sides and bad sides to everything in life and it all depends on the persons outlook and it all depends on how the person reacts to the situations in life, my SO and I always try to have a postive outlook to everything life throws at us and if it screws us up we try to figure out why it happened and work it out so it doesnt happen again, swinging is one of the best things thats happened to us and its made us a lot closer to each other, and knowing how ole Dr phil is like hes gonna slam it big time without any positive outcome .

[DanBridget]

The Oprah show last week about older women having sex. We saw the couple and they were in complete denial of swinging. I felt that since they only play with a select person each and not socially then they are not swingers. We got bored and turned it off.

Now I didn't get to see the show she did on swinging and I heard ok things about it.

You have to remember Dr. Phil is not a real doctor, he is a TV Doctor and needs the ratings.