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Thread: I want more from our "No Strings Attached" relationship

  1. #1

    Default I want more from our "No Strings Attached" relationship

    Hi everyone! I'm sure there is a wide variety of 'relationships' that we all have out there, i'm just looking for opinions.

    My husband and I (together) share a 'boyfriend' that we've been seeing for awhile now. Thing is- the guy's a busy man and we've gone over a month without seeing him. For ease of mind (we're all a little paranoid about STD, and yes we play protected as well) we're actually in a bit of an exclusive relationship, which means that when our BF does not call or can't swing by- we play alone (no aurguments of course facelick ).

    This started as a "No Strings Attached" relationship so I feel out of place 'demanding' that he show up at least once a month- but in fairness- he's our only player. I'm honestly not sure what to tell the guy. We adore him, but I'm ready to break it off to start seeing other people... or does it seem justifable that we agknowledge the strings that I (personally) feel are already attached?

    I know this situation may not be as 'typical' as other swing relationships- but everyone must have an opinion

  2. #2

    Default Re: Nsa?

    Just be honest with him. Tell him you simply want more, but understand if he's not able to provide it.

    He might even agree that you should find other playmates and even still see you every other month or so too.

    Honesty is always the best approach.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Nsa?

    tell him u need more and if he does not show up more u r going to get another one but he can still show up when he can then if luck goes good u get 2

  4. #4

    Default Re: Nsa?

    I'm curious... you said you are worried about STD's so it's a sort of an exclusive relationship... but is it exclusive on his end as well? Because I'd have to wonder if he's not seen you guys in a quite a while, he's probably seeing others. So how does this protect you from anything?

    If it's a NSA relationship... find another partner.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Nsa?

    The std worries stem mainly from him and it was to ease his mind, that we went exclusive in the first place (after sharing recent test results). We took a fairly big step to ease his mind- hence the reason i feel string are attached.

    He's not seeing other people and I believe that he is honestly just very busy.

    I'll have a chat with him- the worst that happens- we start seeing someone else
    which i guess was an option anyway.

  6. #6

    Default Re: Nsa?

    We are busy to and she cannot always see her b/f when we want to. We have resorted to phone sex (her on the line with him as she and I play). That can hold us over for a while. The b/f is married so its even harder for him to get out but he does more often than we can sometimes.

    Its all a matter of your wants and needs. Do not confuse the two. I think it may be time to move on. That or ask him point blank when does he feel his schedule will open up to include you and your husband.

    Let us know.

    Ask me where I got my sexy swingers jewelry! Check my profile for the link.

  7. #7

    Default Re: Nsa?

    O.K., having just come out of a relationship that was exclusive (on my part), I would advise talking to your boyfriend. If you want more time with him then it would be good to get that out in the open to see what he is thinking and to see if his scheduling permits such a relationship. Let him know how much you and your husband enjoy being with him and that you would like to see him more.

    It is hard for me to believe that a single male is only having sex once per month, unless he doesn't have skills to pick up other women or men. Of course it can be done, but with men its normally not by choice.

    So if he says that he has the time to fit the needs of you and your husband, then great, you've got the lover that you want & trust and the time. However, if he says that he is doing the best that he can do then you have to decide if it is worth it to take what you can get or to explore other options. You risk losing him if he has phobias about disease, etc. but at least you guys will be able to come to an understanding. Once you ask him for the time, you have to make sure that you are able to live up to any expectations that he might have also.

  8. #8

    Default Re: Nsa?

    You guys are great. I'll talk to him tonight.

    My husband and I are still pretty new to this, before that we were together (alone) for over 6 years... it feels so bizarre to be dealing with 'new relationship' stuff again...

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