Mismatched couples

[Tybee Swing]

When we look at ads on line or check out couples at the clubs, often we find one of the couple attractive and the other less than attractive. Usually, it's the male half that doesn't work for us. Rarely do we find a couple that is both attractive.

For this reason, we usually go for singles.

Anyone else notice this?

YES!!! This precise situation causes us to veto couples more often than not, sadly. My husband understands completely, and wouldn't want me to have to be with an ogre, either. LOL A particular group/private party we've been going to is mainly run by the male half of a couple. We just recently learned that he selects the people they invite based on how the female looks. The male isn't even taken into consideration. I talked to him about this last time we saw him, and he admitted I was right. But, he also said that most of the profiles don't even show the man, or he's in one blurry picture and there are 20 pictures of the woman. We had a laugh about that, but....it's not fair.

If I don't feel sexually attracted to someone, why should I feel bad or shallow about not wanting to have sex with them?

Couldn't agree with you more. It's only logical. I'm sure that everyone believes for themselves that if there's no attraction, they don't have sex with somebody. That would be called "taking one for the team" and most couples don't do that. It doesn't end well.

[HappyPeople]

Do you really want to know from others POV's? It might tick ya off just to read others thoughts....and might not bring you closer to understanding but hey, if you are an LL member, go to the forum and start there. Unless the thread was pulled, like some expected cuz it got so heated.

Could you link me to the thread? It sounds like its worth a read.

[Chicup]

While we have often found the same situation, where either the male or female half of the couple does not 'do it' for us, most complaints seem to focus on the males.

What makes a man attractive as a husband is very different from what makes him 'hot'.

I'm quite sure that many females complaining about the 'unattractive' males do not have all that much better at home. Pretty boys are far more rare than pretty girls.

There seems to be an unrealistic expectation some couples get and it can apply to the females as well. They view swinging as their fantasy and they expect the couples they play with to be far more attractive than they themselves are.

[ShellyM]

YES!!! This precise situation causes us to veto couples more often than not, sadly. My husband understands completely, and wouldn't want me to have to be with an ogre, either. LOL A particular group/private party we've been going to is mainly run by the male half of a couple. We just recently learned that he selects the people they invite based on how the female looks. The male isn't even taken into consideration. I talked to him about this last time we saw him, and he admitted I was right. But, he also said that most of the profiles don't even show the man, or he's in one blurry picture and there are 20 pictures of the woman. We had a laugh about that, but....it's not fair.

Isn't that male chauvinism at its finest! That would really tick me off lol. Yeah, its hard to find a couple where they are both physically "appealing"......and if you do they have the entire HWP thing going on lol!

[Tybee Swing]

I'm quite sure that many females complaining about the 'unattractive' males do not have all that much better at home. Pretty boys are far more rare than pretty girls.

In my case, at least, this isn't the case. I'm not looking for pretty boys (a/k/a Brad Pitt types). Most women I know aren't looking for or expecting pretty boys, either.

There seems to be an unrealistic expectation some couples get and it can apply to the females as well. They view swinging as their fantasy and they expect the couples they play with to be far more attractive than they themselves are.

We aren't looking for couples "far more attractive", or even slightly more attractive than we are, necessarily. We just know what we like, and what we don't.

[ShellyM]

Me either. I'm not looking for Brad Pitt (well, perhaps Tony Stewart)....and I'm not looking for someone "better" looking that Jay. Because in my opinion Jay rocks! I can agree with the title of the thread though to some extent. But remember as well ladies. We women are lucky (or unlucky, depending on how you look at it) in that we can wear make up to cover up those nasty little genetic boo-boos....got bad skin? Buy some good foundation. Eyebrows too light? Get you a good brow pencil and a pair of tweezer (or if you are like me, an eyebrow razor because you are too much of a sissy to pluck!).......men do not have this luxury. If he has acne its out there for everyone to see, there is no concealer he can use. So I do try to be fair and think on that. I look at all kinds of things. I look at how neat he is...does he take care of his hair and goatee (I have a thing for goatees lately)? Does he smell good, is he confident, etc......I would hate for him to analyze my body looking for every flaw.

[HappyPeople]

Sure, it is easier for women to pretty up but there are a lot of things that guys could do too.

Tips for guys:

Keep a decent haircut, don't go 6 months between haircuts (Shaggy only works with Scooby Doo).
Get your eyebrows trimmed.
Wear clothes that fit you (without stains, holes, or fading).
Think "GQ" not "Leisure Suit Larry".
Get your teeth cleaned every six months.
Shave.
If you have a beard, keep it neat.
Learn to dance (the white man shuffle just makes you look silly).
Get a manicure (or have your wife do it), grubby nails are gross (YOU DON'T WANT TO PUT THOSE IN MY VAGINA DO YOU?).
If you have a beer belly, find clothes than minimize it.

Women typically spend an hour or more getting ready for the club and many of the hubbies look like they just got off of work or rolled out of bed. Put in a little effort guys!

[Tybee Swing]

Sure, it is easier for women to pretty up but there are a lot of things that guys could do too.

Tips for guys:

Keep a decent haircut, don't go 6 months between haircuts (Shaggy only works with Scooby Doo).
Get your eyebrows trimmed.
Wear clothes that fit you (without stains, holes, or fading).
Think "GQ" not "Leisure Suit Larry".
Get your teeth cleaned every six months.
Shave.
If you have a beard, keep it neat.
Learn to dance (the white man shuffle just makes you look silly).
Get a manicure (or have your wife do it), grubby nails are gross (YOU DON'T WANT TO PUT THOSE IN MY VAGINA DO YOU?).
If you have a beer belly, find clothes than minimize it.

Women typically spend an hour or more getting ready for the club and many of the hubbies look like they just got off of work or rolled out of bed. Put in a little effort guys!

HappyPeople, I love your tips - I agree 100%! May I add one more, regarding hair?

If yours is thinning, work with it, just go with it. Wear your hair short and stylish (think Bruce Willis). Or just shave it, if you're the kind of guy that can carry off that look. If you must, see about hair replacement services. Any of these can be very attractive. But DO NOT grow a comb-over!

[HappyPeople]

Yes definately, I've heard of women being into a lot of different things but I've never heard women swoon over comb-overs at my sewing circles.

[Pepper & Drew]

I have some theories on this subject. We've encountered a lot of couples where the woman is a 10 and the guy is a 4. I think it's partly because women, all there lives, are judged more on what they look like, so they make more of an effort. A lot of men aren't unattractive, they just don't try. We've met lots of couples where the wife works out, but the husband hasn't seen a treadmill in years. Or, the wife is hot, and the husband looks (or maybe is) 376 years old. Or, the wife has her nails and hair done, cute dress, makeup and they guy looks like he just rolled out of bed and threw on the first shirt he could find.

Then, I think it also has to do with how men and women choose mates. Men choose women (a lot of times) because he finds her physically attractive, and then gets to know her, fall in love, etc. I think a lot of women are first drawn to other things with men...like personality, money, etc. A guy doesn't have to be hot to get a hot woman. Don't believe me? Jack Nicholson and Lora Flynn Boyle. Micheal Douglas and Katherine Zeta Jones. Donald Trump and any woman he's ever been with......I could go on.....

Pepper

[Tybee Swing]

A guy doesn't have to be hot to get a hot woman. Don't believe me? Jack Nicholson and Lora Flynn Boyle. Micheal Douglas and Katherine Zeta Jones. Donald Trump and any woman he's ever been with......I could go on.....

Pepper

[tribbles]

Sure, it is easier for women to pretty up but there are a lot of things that guys could do too.

Tips for guys:

Keep a decent haircut, don't go 6 months between haircuts (Shaggy only works with Scooby Doo).
Get your eyebrows trimmed.
Wear clothes that fit you (without stains, holes, or fading).
Think "GQ" not "Leisure Suit Larry".
Get your teeth cleaned every six months.
Shave.
If you have a beard, keep it neat.
Learn to dance (the white man shuffle just makes you look silly).
Get a manicure (or have your wife do it), grubby nails are gross (YOU DON'T WANT TO PUT THOSE IN MY VAGINA DO YOU?).
If you have a beer belly, find clothes than minimize it.

Women typically spend an hour or more getting ready for the club and many of the hubbies look like they just got off of work or rolled out of bed. Put in a little effort guys!

You gal don't suppose there is any chance the guys don't want to do these things? With hot wives, don't you think, just maybe, the wives have said stuff before?

And just maybe the hair, beards, personal style of dress and even the beer bellies are personal choices?

[ShellyM]

You gal don't suppose there is any chance the guys don't want to do these things? With hot wives, don't you think, just maybe, the wives have said stuff before?

And just maybe the hair, beards, personal style of dress and even the beer bellies are personal choices?

That may be true, the beer belly may be a personal choice, yes.

But its also a personal choice that I can say no thank you, not interested.

[HappyPeople]

You gal don't suppose there is any chance the guys don't want to do these things? With hot wives, don't you think, just maybe, the wives have said stuff before?

And just maybe the hair, beards, personal style of dress and even the beer bellies are personal choices?

Oh, I'm sure the wives have probably suggested these things before. Everyone is free to be themselves of course; however, I figured the fellas would be happy to increase thier fuckability factor.

[tribbles]

That may be true, the beer belly may be a personal choice, yes.

But its also a personal choice that I can say no thank you, not interested.

Sure it is. Personal choices, YAY!

Oh, I'm sure the wives have probably suggested these things before. Everyone is free to be themselves of course; however, I figured the fellas would be happy to increase thier fuckability factor.

Could it be taken that they were too stupid to listen to their wives but these posts will sink in? You really wanna fuck guys that stupid who look good?



Oh, and so you know....we Do Nothing to increase our fuckability factor. The idea is a turn off for us. Take us as we are, or pass us bi (yes, we know, most of you would pass....it's ok cuz we still do just fine being ourselves). Who we are has worked for almost 27 yrs of married bliss. And I mean the bliss part.

S