Don't want to share him, but ok for me to play

[northindycpl]

Recently, I have noticed that I have been feeling like I just don't want to share Mr. Indy with another woman-especially single women. I can't explain why or when this started, it just started happening.

Now on the other hand, as badly as this sounds, I would have no issue at all entering into double-standard land. In fact, I have really started to enjoy MFM's a lot more then I ever thought I would. Because of this reason, we haven't been as active as we have been. In fact, we are not active at all.

Do you guys think this is a phase or symptomatic of an underlying issue- or am I over analysizing it to death?

[LOL_OMG]

Mrs Indy, yes I have had times that I felt the same. I think it has alot to do with what is happening in your own lives...sometimes with me, even the time of the month. With hormonal changes, I will sometimes get sad and need a little extra attention from the MR...it's those times I really don't wanna share him at all.

At one point it seemed like we were constantly going to clubs, meeting people, having friends over, etc. and it just got to be too much. Through no fault but my own I felt pressure to "perform", which was actually kind of a turn off. I really needed a break from it all so we did. Later when I felt better we resumed.

Things change, it's all part of life, and I wouldn't have it any other way

[Mrs.PaganLovers]

LOL I know what you mean! I have times when I just want him, I think it's that romantic part of me. Then when things are just hot and sex it's another story. But yes I have those times too.

[LOL_OMG]

Mrs PL, actually you are an entirely different story It would be a rare occasion that I wouldn't want to share my Mr with you...you hot little wench

[Mrs.PaganLovers]

ROFLMAO Look who's talking you sweet little thing with spectactular breasts. I just think that's cause we are all good friends and respect each other and the feelings that go along with it. You are sooooo sweet

[ohash01]

Occassionally I will have "I don't share well with others" feelings with people that I don't know well outside of swinging. If it's another female that I like and can hang out with on my own and have a good time with, chances are it's all systems go. But I want to know and trust the people who I share with J.

I think that's probably pretty natural though. (Maybe not.) But I want to know that the other F is either definately single or definately secure in her own relationship and she's not on the hunt.

[ShellyM]

Okay, non-experienced swinger's opinion here: BUT I have been a married woman for the last 15 years. I would be threatened by single women. When I say single women, I mean women not in a commited relationship. Women who have SO's are not single in my book. I have to be honest and will probably get told off, but I don't trust single women very much. I'll give you my personal opinion on this, and its worth a grain of salt lol. Okay, and before I get jumped let me say that I am NOT generalizing every woman on the earth lol. But here goes. Every single woman I know personally is looking for one thing: MR. RIGHT. Whether she is promiscuous or not, she is looking for him. And women tend to get confused when a man treats them with respect. We think with our hearts, which is not a bad thing....but its bad when dealing with my husband. All of a sudden she is in love, or thinks she is...and thats when the trouble starts. Married woman? No problem, they can screw until body parts fall off. Single women? I proceed with great caution.
:dancenana

[LOL_OMG]

Shelly I would have to agree with you there. As far as comfort levels from BOTH of us...we look for not only couples, but couples who are in love with each other. We don't want drama, we don't want someone to get a crush on either of us, and we don't want to deal with the possible jealousy issues that arise from it.

For now, what fantasies we have with FMF or MFM we get from the wonderful couples we know

[Pepper & Drew]

Okay, non-experienced swinger's opinion here: BUT I have been a married woman for the last 15 years. I would be threatened by single women. When I say single women, I mean women not in a commited relationship. Women who have SO's are not single in my book. I have to be honest and will probably get told off, but I don't trust single women very much. I'll give you my personal opinion on this, and its worth a grain of salt lol. Okay, and before I get jumped let me say that I am NOT generalizing every woman on the earth lol. But here goes. Every single woman I know personally is looking for one thing: MR. RIGHT. Whether she is promiscuous or not, she is looking for him. And women tend to get confused when a man treats them with respect. We think with our hearts, which is not a bad thing....but its bad when dealing with my husband. All of a sudden she is in love, or thinks she is...and thats when the trouble starts. Married woman? No problem, they can screw until body parts fall off. Single women? I proceed with great caution.
:dancenana

Shelly,
If I've learned anything in the lifestyle, it is that people who suck, suck whether they're married or not. And what I mean by that is:

Friends of ours met a couple on vacation. They found out they only live a couple of hours away, enjoyed each other's company, etc. When they returned home, this MARRIED woman started calling when she knew our friend's wife would be home. Started saying how nice our friend is, compared to her husband, etc.

That's just one 'married woman' story I have. I have others.

If you don't want to play with single females, that's cool, but if you only think that single females are the only group that you should be worried about, you're mistaken. There's single women that you can trust and married women that you can trust. But there's definitely women in both categories that are worth opening a can of whoop-ass for.

Pepper

[ShellyM]

True that Pepper, I can understand that!

[louie_st]

Married woman? No problem, they can screw until body parts fall off. Single women? I proceed with great caution.
:dancenana

Why would you say something like that? Do you know how many married couples that are having problems and think swinging is the cure. Or they are out looking for a new MR Right. Here you give a false sense of security that your man can boink any married women. Too me at least that is like just a pile of crap, sorry to offend. Any women can be out looking for the next MR Right and can and I MEAN CAN have a chance at stealing your husband.. Lets say there is something you don't like or do and she does this just to spite you. How would you feel if a very young and sexy women wanted your man and nothing to do with you? To me that is like asking a straight man for a threesome. What the hell is my job there? standand watch? sloppy seconds or finish and wait for him to get done? Just remember any women can steal your man... Married, single, Bi, straight, threesome or any thing and that is just the nature of this lifestyle... Hell for that fact a man can also steal your man away from you.. Simple is as if you want play as a couple and always be couple and watch that one doesn't come to close to the other...

[LOL_OMG]

Louie_st all I can say is that you have some serious problems of your own (judging from your previous posts) and have very little knowledge of the OP and their actual question. I would suggest reading a few posts and helping yourself to the knowledge that is here....

[MetroMike]

Now on the other hand, as badly as this sounds, I would have no issue at all entering into double-standard land. In fact, I have really started to enjoy MFM's a lot more then I ever thought I would....

....Do you guys think this is a phase or symptomatic of an underlying issue- or am I over analysizing it to death?

Wait a minute, since when do people on this forum put up with double standards? Looks like I'll have to take things into my own hands. Bad, Mrs. Indy!

You haven't mentioned how Mr. Indy feels about all this. I suspect he is not happy, and I can't blame him. If you keep the MFM going without 100% buy-in from him, you might as well kiss your marital bliss goodbye.

As far as the problem itself, I think it's probably a phase AND an underlying issue, maybe self-esteem? Also, I don't understand why the other posters are warning you to watch out for single women. If you can't trust your husband to resist the Sirens, maybe you shouldn't swing.

[LOL_OMG]

You haven't mentioned how Mr. Indy feels about all this. I suspect he is not happy, and I can't blame him. If you keep the MFM going without 100% buy-in from him, you might as well kiss your marital bliss goodbye.

Wow how closed minded of you....especially since she was asking for opionions. Marital bliss is gone? Cmon.

As far as the problem itself, I think it's probably a phase AND an underlying issue, maybe self-esteem? Also, I don't understand why the other posters are warning you to watch out for single women. If you can't trust your husband to resist the Sirens, maybe you shouldn't swing.

Holy cow, you have turned this into a 1)I'm thinking I dont want to share my man...into 2) holy crap every woman wants to take my man from me!

Whut? Huh? I saw my own man kiss at least 4 women this weekend. And I was jealous that it wasn't my lips they were kissing.

[louie_st]

Wow how closed minded of you....especially since she was asking for opionions. Marital bliss is gone? Cmon.



Holy cow, you have turned this into a 1)I'm thinking I dont want to share my man...into 2) holy crap every woman wants to take my man from me!

Whut? Huh? I saw my own man kiss at least 4 women this weekend. And I was jealous that it wasn't my lips they were kissing.

Wait, what the hell do you mean how closed minded........ I think that is a solid point. If there is any doubt in either mind that they both should not be doing this then they need to stop. I have talked with PLENTY of couples about MFM and most arguments started because one or the other was not happy or satisfied in a MFM or FMF. You I think are being closed minded. Lifestyle is a couple based action and if one is not happy or satisfied they need to sit down and communicate what each other wants and expects. You on the other hand can have your husband kiss the whole damn city for all I care but take into other peoples thought. Maybe thats not what they wanted when they started or expected. Not every one is MAN WHORE that goes around the block a few times kissing everyone. Now I don't know you but from your sounds and actions I would peg you out at the 50 or above age bracket. You lived your life and made your bed. Don't screw up somebody else's life that is younger and have questions or thoughts that may pertain to their lives. To me this is a typical older aged answer that have passed their prime and is just looking for sex in all the wrong places... Don't screw up the youth of Lifestyle because you have no cares or are bitter....