My experience last night....

[Jersey1979]

Hey all, thought maybe someone would like to enjoy reading about my experience last night.

My fiancee and I are 27 and started with some "group play" about 2 years ago (we have been together 3 years. She had a friend from college that got married and we all went on a vacation about 2 years ago and thats when our same room sex blossomed to soft soft blossomed to full swap to separate room swap. It was a great 2 years but then the married coupld split up (not due to our activities) and that's where the fun ended. We have since longed for more fun...but the previous situation was just too "perfect".

A couple of weeks ago my fiancee ran into a very old ex boyfriend, Mike. She has always been heavily attracted to him, but has not seen him in over 2 years. She told me when she saw him that she "would fuck his brains out if given the opportunity". I encouraged her for weeks to get something started with him and she played with him over text messages and phone calls of which Mike thought I was oblivious (although I had been right next to her the whole time helping coach).

Last night we were down in the area where she grew up and we were visiting her parents. We had some friends over and were socially drinking. I told her that she should try and kiss him when separated from the group. After everyone left, including Mike, she got a text message saying he wishes he could come back. She told him I was passed out and would love if he came back to kis her goodnight.

We set it up where I was closely watching out of a dark window and she was outside by his truck. They started heavily kissing and touching for about 20 minutes. She had her hand down his pants and he slowly felt her pussy. He commented on how shaved and smooth she was. Before I knew it, my girl's top was up and he was attacking her size C tits with his tongue. He encouraged her to get in his truck, but she only wanted to give him a taste test and then talk to me about it. When I was watching, I could barely stand it. I grabbed my cock and pumped it. I could barely hold on and shot a huge load in my pants. After she came back in, I was instantly hard again. I took her to bed and fucked her well drenched pussy. She came hard on my cock and we both fell asleep exhausted. Mike still does not know that I was watching...but we'll have to see where this one proceeds.

Let me know what you think.

[She_n_Jaybee]

Well, I think the first time I read that was in a 1978 (can't remember the month) issue of Penthouse. Back when the Penthouse forum wasn't it's own magazine. It's a common enough fantasy, although your version of it has some twists.

Last night we were down in the area where she grew up and we were visiting her parents. We had some friends over and were socially drinking. I told her that she should try and kiss him when separated from the group. After everyone left, including Mike, she got a text message saying he wishes he could come back. She told him I was passed out and would love if he came back to kis her goodnight.

First, that's downy ballsy to visit someone's parents, invite friends to someone's parents, including an ex-boyfriend, then have her put on such a display where her parents could easily see it. Not to mention, him believing you had passed out from socially drinking.

But I shouldn't nitpick. What I think is it's a rather detestable way to treat another human being. If your fiancee had told Mike what she wanted to do, and that she had your approval, great! All power to the people! But instead you chose the path of deceit, totally insensitive to the potential hurt for Mike. But then, that seems to turn on a lot of the very young men. In my old age I've become attached to the notion that hurting others for pleasure is immoral.

As for

We set it up where I was closely watching out of a dark window and she was outside by his truck. They started heavily kissing and touching for about 20 minutes. She had her hand down his pants and he slowly felt her pussy. He commented on how shaved and smooth she was. Before I knew it, my girl's top was up and he was attacking her size C tits with his tongue. He encouraged her to get in his truck, but she only wanted to give him a taste test and then talk to me about it. When I was watching, I could barely stand it. I grabbed my cock and pumped it. I could barely hold on and shot a huge load in my pants. After she came back in, I was instantly hard again. I took her to bed and fucked her well drenched pussy. She came hard on my cock and we both fell asleep exhausted.

They really need to make a new emoticon for this. It would save a lot of typing. I have read hundreds of paragraphs by hundreds of men that are nearly identical.

[Jersey1979]

Well sorry it isnt your thing or you dont agree. I was just sharing my evening.like I said, we are fairly new to things...and I apologize if I offended people. I honestly really didnt think that my post would have such a reaction.

Yes, I realize it does seem like a false story that I picked up out of "Letters" but then again, we did kind of set it up that way as we both avidly read the magazine.

Sorry I cant provide an experience that involves a great house party or a great swing club as we havent matured to that stage just yet...we are just doing what we can with what we agree to as a couple. I think everyone can understand that.

In addition, am "I" really the one that treated someone so "detestable"? Mike thought he was getting on an engaged woman. He was asking her to get in his truck and fuck her. Under other circumstances, where I would not have approved, he could be called a variety of names. I think it's a two way street. And of the 3 people involved, no one is complaining.

[Menage_a_Trois]

Jersey1979, Welcome to the board!

We understand that you are fairly new to all of this and trying to find your way. Believe me, we all started somewhere and made mistakes along the way as we learned. It is great that your first experience was so good and you were able is see how much fun the lifestyle can be, with the right people. The lifestyle is all about being upfront and honest with your partner, as well as playmates. The reason that what you are doing with Mike offends people is that you and your girlfriend haven't been honest with him from the beginning; you are basically setting him up (both sexually and emotionally). Yes, I understand your argument that Mike isn't being honest about trying to have sex with your girlfriend "behind" your back. But from what you have said your girlfriend (and you) got that ball rolling, by her showing an interest in him. Not many men (especially outside the lifestyle) who can resist a woman showing interest in them in a sexual way. His reaction does NOT justify your dishonesty about the whole thing. People that get involved with swinging do so because they want to, not because they are tricked into it. As an adult you need to be respectful and upfront with people. The lifestyle is not about getting what you want without regard for your play partners’ feelings. If a potential playmate isn't interested in what you are, then it is time to move on to someone that is on the same page as you. It does not mean that you manipulate them or the situation so that you get what you want. It is easy when you first get started in the lifestyle to get caught up in the excitement of it, and not stop and think about how you are pursuing it. But trust me, stop, take a breath and think about how you are progressing with all this. You and your girlfriend need to sit down and have a talk with Mike and explain to him what is really going on, you never know he maybe all for it, if he isn't then you will know and save a lot of drama down the road.

Mr. Ménage

[She_n_Jaybee]

Well sorry it isnt your thing or you dont agree. I was just sharing my evening.like I said, we are fairly new to things...and I apologize if I offended people. I honestly really didnt think that my post would have such a reaction.

Yes, I realize it does seem like a false story that I picked up out of "Letters" but then again, we did kind of set it up that way as we both avidly read the magazine.

Sorry I cant provide an experience that involves a great house party or a great swing club as we havent matured to that stage just yet...we are just doing what we can with what we agree to as a couple. I think everyone can understand that.

In addition, am "I" really the one that treated someone so "detestable"? Mike thought he was getting on an engaged woman. He was asking her to get in his truck and fuck her. Under other circumstances, where I would not have approved, he could be called a variety of names. I think it's a two way street. And of the 3 people involved, no one is complaining.

By your admission, you encouraged your fiancee to pursue Mike and led him to believe this was without your knowledge. An engaged woman he has a past history with came on to him and led him to believe she was interested in him. Unless you want to change your story, he responded to her advances, advances which you encouraged her for weeks to make. The only thing he could be blamed for is responding in a manner typical of a heterosexual male. If your story is true then the two of you are engaged in a process which is deliberately cruel and hurtful to another person. I see that as the anathema to swinging.

A couple of weeks ago my fiancee ran into a very old ex boyfriend, Mike. She has always been heavily attracted to him, but has not seen him in over 2 years. She told me when she saw him that she "would fuck his brains out if given the opportunity". I encouraged her for weeks to get something started with him and she played with him over text messages and phone calls of which Mike thought I was oblivious (although I had been right next to her the whole time helping coach).

One of the reasons I read stories such as this and consider them probable fabrications is the very specific details in one area coupled with potentially conflicting ambiguity in another. Here is what I mean:

My fiancee and I are 27 and started with some "group play" about 2 years ago (we have been together 3 years. She had a friend from college that got married and we all went on a vacation about 2 years ago and thats when our same room sex blossomed to soft soft blossomed to full swap to separate room swap. It was a great 2 years but then the married coupld split up (not due to our activities) and that's where the fun ended. We have since longed for more fun...but the previous situation was just too "perfect".

You've been together 3 years, fine. About 2 years ago you started group play, about 2 years ago went on vacation, made transition to full swap and apparently continued full swap with this couple for 2 years. When they divorced your fun stopped and you've longed for more. But with everything being 2 years, they just recently divorced, leaving you with a very short time for longing.

Now we bring in Mike who your fiancee ran into a "couple of weeks ago". She hadn't seen him in over 2 years, meaning she was seeing him while you two were together, apparently just before the beginning of your 2 year perfect swinging adventure. I've always considered a "couple" as approximately 2. When talking weeks, more than 1 1/2, less than 2 1/2. Yet you encouraged her ... "for weeks". In my eyes, that's at least 2 weeks, and usually indicates more, Make the range from 2 to 7 weeks with the most common meaning being between 3 and 6 weeks (2 is a "couple", 7 is almost 2 months). This ambiguity leaves you encouraging her to do something for longer than she could have done it. Seems to hint at a contradiction by being vague. So I consider the story as suspicious.

Then you get to the "action" part of the story. You're hiding behind a darkened window, no problem. Apparently he's being rather loud when talking about "how shaved and smooth she was", if you heard it from behind your window. I sure hope the neighbors had their windows closed. At least came in your pants quietly, that's one less trauma for her parents to deal with. It's bad enough they (and their neighbors) have to hear remarks about their cheating daughters pubic area, without having to discover their future son-in-law whacking off behind the living room drapes.

The problem with the action segment is it's specifics. The one that stands out is "her size C tits". The size is unnecessary. By itself, cup size is meaningless. To this point you have mentioned no details other than age about your fiancee. Suddenly she's "smooth and shaven" with "size C tits" and later "a well drenched pussy". If she's 5'2" and 350#, "size C tits" could quite possibly resemble mushy grapes stuck on a watermelon. When the only specifics are sexually related the story appears to be nothing more than masturbation fodder with little, if any actual truth.

I'll offer advice based upon 2 premises. First, if the story is true, go to "Mike" tell him what you have done, that you were behind it and your reasons for doing so. Then ask for him to accept your apology for being insensitive to his feelings. You may lose a few teeth, but that's a small price when this scenario could easily lead to someone's death. In the future, if you wish to see your fiancee with another man, let him in on the plan. Avoid deceit and situations that are hurtful to others.

Now, if the story is just that, a story my advice: Develop your characters early, and when mentioning time spans avoid conflicts (or explain-"We were together 6 months then split up. During that time she dated Mike. They split up, we got back together and got engaged"). Make sure your characters behave consistently. In this one your characters quickly progressed to seperate room swap. However, the story finishes with you being extremely voyeuristic, being unable to restrain yourself while watching Mike and your fiancee. Going from seperate room swap you described as "too perfect", to voyeurism so intense you "could barely hold on and shot a huge load in your pants" and were "instantly hard again" sounds like 2 different people.

Your "too perfect" experience was bland, no fire, no oomph, a complete lack of details. If it's "too perfect", jazz it up, make it steamy and work your voyeurism into the mix. As written it reads like a tech manual and the complete shift at the end makes the story impossible to believe.

You might consider how the story presents you. Here you present yourself in an uncomplimentary manner. If I started a story with "I've always been attracted to (number <18 indicating early adolescence) year old girls, but never acted on the attraction until last night..." I would be crucified (well, in my case it's happened so many times it's no big deal), the post would quickly disappear and I would no longer be allowed here. And right now there are at least a few who would like nothing better. However, I try to present myself neutral, I admit my defects and hope I'm judged on what I say rather than who I'm believed to be. You've set yourself up as the villian in this story. Perhaps that's your intent. Some will enjoy the story for that reason, others will despise it and you. The rest will ignore it. Or a few will analyze it, offer opinions and even advice without making a personal judgement about you, the author.

Whichever the case don't worry about being able to provide great stories. From my point of view, that's really not the thrust of this community. The internet is full of places where stories/experiences such as yours will have people begging for more details (and pictures of your fiancee and offers to sell you penis enlargement pills and free access to a cornucopia of porn). Generally, experiences posted here involve difficult situations the poster wishes help with. Questions are asked, and answered. Experiences are shared and discussed (and debated and argued and beaten into the ground).

Your experience seemed be be requesting nothing more than applause.

[WesternSwing]

Dito, Mr. Menage. You explained the philosophy of swinging very well.

Mr. WS

[Jersey1979]

Well, I guess I just happen to make a "newbie" type of error. Excuse me, I would guess "She n Jaybee" must be a complete expert on the morals of life and swinging. After all, he has been participating in this lifestyle for eons (7 months according to profile) in the cornbelt of the states.

You know "She n Jaybee" I really hope most members of this community are not as harsh as you...ideally I would like to meet more people interested in this way of life (or play). I just sure hope the community isnt filled with individuals like you.

[She_n_Jaybee]

You're right Jersey1979, I was unnecessarily harsh. To paraphrase, I should live by the maxim "If you can't write anything nice about someone, don't write anything at all", Ishould have either have told you how great your experience was, or very gingerly made suggestions to avoid the risk of hurting your feelings. While still inexcusable, I will give 3 reasons why I responded as harshly.

1. I've been in Mike's shoes. In my case only the woman was involved twice, the woman & another man the first time. First time hurt some, 2nd hurt a lot, 3rd time nearly destroyed me. She was worst, I gave her everything, emotionally, I had to give, we'd lived together for 3 months, she left and gave me back to shattered pieces of my heart one at a time over the next several months. If I were to see her again, I can't say whether I'd kill her, ignore her, or throw everything away to be with her again.

2. On Dec 24, 1985 A very good friend (and a much better person than I) hung himself in his garage. His wife and his best friend had played a very similar game on him. One month before he had come to me asking for help, advice anything I could do to help him deal with the pain. I laughed it off, and still carry a bit of guilt to this day.

3. I have a tendency to "call 'em like I see 'em". If something appears wrong to me, I blurt it out ("The Emperor has no clothes!"), I don't consider the messenger, only the message, and reply based on what is written and how it is written. This is probably because I will not say something online that I wouldn't feel comfortable saying in person in the same situation. And I hold no personal secrets sacred. I tell the bad I've done along with the good. My failures and successes get equal attention. If we were coworkers and you told me this experience I would have either said "yeah, I read that story last week" or "Man, you are seriously fucking up. What if this guy finds out that you two are playing him and flips? What are you going do when he puts a bullet in both your heads?".

The rest of this community isn't like me. Many will give you warm fuzzies no matter what you say or do, most of the others will be nice enough to not criticize, or to at least be very gentle when they do.

[Jersey1979]

I just wish you owuld have explained yourself better. I can see that your personal experiences led you to a much harsher post than I wanted to hear about. In fact, to me, you seemed down right nasty. Being a new poster, I had one foot out the door of this board, until I just read your recent post. I can now see what you're saying. Maybe next time, on a newbie...you could coach, rather than chastise.

[JustAskJulie]

You're right Jersey1979, I was unnecessarily harsh. To paraphrase, I should live by the maxim "If you can't write anything nice about someone, don't write anything at all", Ishould have either have told you how great your experience was, or very gingerly made suggestions to avoid the risk of hurting your feelings. While still inexcusable, I will give 3 reasons why I responded as harshly.

1. I've been in Mike's shoes. In my case only the woman was involved twice, the woman & another man the first time. First time hurt some, 2nd hurt a lot, 3rd time nearly destroyed me. She was worst, I gave her everything, emotionally, I had to give, we'd lived together for 3 months, she left and gave me back to shattered pieces of my heart one at a time over the next several months. If I were to see her again, I can't say whether I'd kill her, ignore her, or throw everything away to be with her again.

2. On Dec 24, 1985 A very good friend (and a much better person than I) hung himself in his garage. His wife and his best friend had played a very similar game on him. One month before he had come to me asking for help, advice anything I could do to help him deal with the pain. I laughed it off, and still carry a bit of guilt to this day.

3. I have a tendency to "call 'em like I see 'em". If something appears wrong to me, I blurt it out ("The Emperor has no clothes!"), I don't consider the messenger, only the message, and reply based on what is written and how it is written. This is probably because I will not say something online that I wouldn't feel comfortable saying in person in the same situation. And I hold no personal secrets sacred. I tell the bad I've done along with the good. My failures and successes get equal attention. If we were coworkers and you told me this experience I would have either said "yeah, I read that story last week" or "Man, you are seriously fucking up. What if this guy finds out that you two are playing him and flips? What are you going do when he puts a bullet in both your heads?".

The rest of this community isn't like me. Many will give you warm fuzzies no matter what you say or do, most of the others will be nice enough to not criticize, or to at least be very gentle when they do.

Perhaps instead of posting generalizations and calling the original post a lie, you should have just posted what you posted above, as it would have made your thoughts and opinions much more clear without being completely disrespectful to the original poster. On this board we ask that you not only consider the messenger but the method of delivery. It always helps if you can think things out and deliver your message on the first try rather than speaking first and then having to explain and re-explain your message because you didn't deliver it properly the first time.

Everyone comes here for a reason and not everyone is going to share the same views. Hopefully we can all learn from each other. Many of us have made mistakes in the past with our choices, whether within the lifestyle or not, and by sharing our experiences and discussing them rather than attacking others for making mistakes we can all help each other learn and grow.

That said I have to agree with everything that Menages said above, and add to that a few thoughts to consider. By leading this guy on and allowing him to think that your fiance is doing this behind your back you allow him to think that there is more to this than just sex. The fact that they have a past relationship and that she still has the hots for him leads me to worry that this could end VERY badly for you. This could be a bad thing even if you guys were being honest with him, but since you aren't you are just asking for more problems and for the potential of something more to develop (or redevelop) between them under this guise of secrecy that they are developing.

[Alura]

Bravo, Julie! Beautiful post!

Mr. Alura

[Jersey1979]

Thank you for the advice Julie. I have started to give this much more thought with your intelligent post, as well as had a great conversation about this with my fiancee over dinner.

[lovinher]

All I can say is put yourself in Mikes shoes.

[sereneiders]

Jersey1979,

Welcome to the board.

Besides how harsh She_n_Jaybee post could be, and while I don't have the experiences he told us to explain his harshness, I have to say that when I read your post, I have the same doubts She_n_Jaybee had about the story... and I am amazed of the analysis he did of it, both when assuming it as a true one, and when supposing it is an imaginary one. At least it worth to appreciate the time he spent on this.

I won't dare to say your story is imaginary, but I have to say, you gave me plenty of clues to suppose this, so, to give you credit, I need to build up another explanation.

I'd say you borrowed the style from other forums, where people share fictinal stories and/or real ones for the readers to enjoy them (insthead of discuss something about them).

I am ok with this explanation, however, I have to tell you, it seems you didn't spent much time reading the forum, or you'd notice that, AT LEAST the style is other. You hardly would read the words "cock", "C cup tits", "shoot a huge load on my pants"... all of this in the SAME post (and I doubt you'd found it in the same thread!). It isn't because we don't use those words, nor that refreain from being explicit, it's just that it isn't necesary for the issues being discussed.

What you'd see, the common factor, is people bringing up a problem, a doubt, a curiosity, and asking the rest of the forum members from an answer (hence we talk about discussions). Indeed, there are posts where people tells about an experience, but I guess they try to stick to the forum "style"... at least most members already know how harsh the rest of us could be if we consider a poster a troll.

Disregarding the style, then we can talk about the deception of Mike. Notice all the posts, harsh or not, pointed out the same: deception is ill seen in the lifestyle, moreover, it damages the lifestyle, the way swingers like the see themselves, and the way we'd like the society to perceive us as a community. Your post presented the deception as a valid way to do something that (so far) has a happy ending, attepting to correlate it with the lifestyle... something that is likely to provoke swingers to react, and add to this the borrowed style, and IMO, this fits the definition of trolling.

So, to give you credit, I'd ask you to take a look around. Your experience is a sexual one, perhaps you may even say it has to do with recreational sex (altough, the deception thing would go against it definition), but it has nothing to do with swinging. Just because you could have the same experience, but after doing things in some other ways as to preserve EVERYONE involved.

Now, and excuse me if I am being harsh about this. I understand you're reacting because of a harsh post, and anyway, I really don't care about you hope to meet people who isn't harsh with deception, nor your deffinition for the "lifestyle" if it suppose deception as a valid mean to play. Hopefully, I KNOW most swingers have higher standards than those, and even if there were just two of them with those standards, those would be the only ones we'd dare to play with. Because deceiving people is just... dangerous, they could hurt me, or worst, my wife, and I plan to stay away from them.

So far, you didn't accounted for what we've tell you about being deceiving, nor understood it as a mistake, nor asked for the ways to do the same without deceiving people, so, particularly, I wouldn't welcome you as a playmate.

Now, we all make mistakes, and one of the forum purposes is to help us learn from the mistakes. I hope you to stick around, teach... and learn.

[curious24]

To add on to what Julie had to say... There are plenty of guys out there that are just as hot or even hotter than her X. I would say let him go and find on of those other 'hot' guys.