The Curse of the Great Profile

[Spoomonkey]

Okay...

I have noticed probably the weirdest reality in all of swingdom...

We entertain single men on ocassion, but are quite picky. It is getting tougher and tougher to find single men as we know some singles who really "drive up the price" so to speak. We know what we want.

So, when we read profiles on the internet, a large amount are simply ingnored for one reason or the other.

But what we have noticed is that when an ad really catches our eye and makes us go "hmmmm" - the guy who posted it NEVER comes back. This has happened about a half dozen times. New guy joins SLS - throws up a profile that really seems to "get it" - and then he is gone. Never to return...

They are the kind of guy we'd contact and feel pretty good about - its as if they have read the very best advice from some of the better single guys around here... And then...

POOF

It has become a joke here at Spoomonkey ranch. We can tell by the profile whether or not they'll ever visit the site again. And so far, unfortunately, we have always been right...

Can someone shed some light on this?

Spoomonkey

[curiousagain]

Well, I might offer a theory. The guy meets a girl and becomes part of a couple. This might be a swinging couple, it might be a non swinging couple, but he's no longer a single.

[Spoomonkey]

Well, I might offer a theory. The guy meets a girl and becomes part of a couple. This might be a swinging couple, it might be a non swinging couple, but he's no longer a single.

That's a hell of a success rate, though...

I mean - he posts it and never comes back... Ever... It seems odd that every single within driving distance would post a personal ad on a swinger site, get up from his computer and go out and trip over a woman

Spoomonkey

[curiousagain]

My bad, I thought it was just the good ones.

[LOL_OMG]

We haven't been seeking singles at all, but I would think this is curious myself....given the fact that it takes some thought and effort to create a profile that the Spoo's would be interested in, and then disappear. We've been in TX travelling for the last few weeks and haven't provided our incredibly wise and witty insite. My thinking is /shrug. I dunno

[sexyshelby]

Hmm, that is odd that someone would post a good profile and then never return.

Maybe it's not actually a single male writing the profile...

~SS

[lcjtsd]

Spoomonkey, Please, what kind of ad really catches your eye and make you go Hmmmm? Inquiring minds want to know!

LCJTSD

[EternallySingle]

Been a while since I've been here, and I don't think I'll be back again, so I'll make this good.

When you come across a profile you like, write anyway. Maybe he got involved, then they broke up a few months later. Unless she tortured him and made him hate women the whole time they were together, when he breaks up with her, he'll spend a few weeks licking his wounds, then he'll be looking for another girlfriend and occasionally a swing partner. Single men do have more to do than look for people to have sex with. The more effort he has to put into swinging, the less energy he has to put into a more conventional sexual relationship. Single women ALWAYS win out over couples, groups, and swing clubs when it comes down to who a single man is going to choose for his sexual activities.

If you come across an ad you like, save it to your favorites list and write him a note telling him what you liked about his ad (Sound familiar?) Even if you discovered his ad when he has stopped looking, if he breaks up with the current missus, he will come back, see your email, and write. If not, you didn't lose anything except the ten or fifteen minutes it took to respond to his ad. If that is too much for you to do (and this is for the newbies, not the Spoos) maybe single men are NOT an avenue of swinging you should pursue. You cannot see yourself as better than single men because you are a married couple or single woman. If you do, most of the single men that "Get it" will see that attitude (they know people, thats why they "get it") and will lump you with the couples and single women that are too full of themselves to really care about anyone else.

And take it from me. I have turned down more couples than I've written because they acted as if THEY were doing ME a favor. That is not something you want a guy to feel when you invite him to have sex with you. He is either going to take advantage of you, or he is going to have an about face and turn you down (hopefully he'll do it kindly) after considering your offer. I'll admit that I've done that, mainly with newbie couples that felt sorry for the nice, handsome, intelligent single guy that just couldn't find the right girl. You're not doing the single guy a favor. You are helping him fulfill a fantasy that you also have. He's helping you fulfill a fantasy that you also have.

In a way, you are doing each other a favor, and all involved parties are benefitting equally. If you think single men are getting more from the arrangement than you, then stop saying you can't find a single man. You can, but you don't want to put him on equal ground with you. That will only bring out his worst qualities, and even a guy everyone says is the greatest in the world will treat you like crap. Either he'll throw dirt on you (insults, rude behavior, overly aggressive) or just toss you in the trash (stand you up at the last moment and not care about what you tell others about him).

[imsnowman]

Been a while since I've been here, and I don't think I'll be back again, so I'll make this good.

Why did you come back and why are you leaving again?

[fun4Ds]

this one just became conversation for us at the dinner table. we dont play with singles as of yet but if we get to that road in our journey we might be wondering about rules for couples towards singles. we are gonna see where this thread goes. kinda makin us go hummmm.

[EternallySingle]

Why did you come back and why are you leaving again?

Well, she has been after me half heartedly for four years, bouncing between little sister, big sister, best friend, worst enemy, and something else I can't put my finger on. This morning she called and said she was sorry about how she shut me out last month and that noone is going to tell her I'm not fit to be part of her new life, especially since I helped her get to that point.

Anyway, for the last three months other women just had no appeal to me. THAT was scary, so...

Hey, you're married. You know what I'm talking about.

Have fun, I intend to.

[imsnowman]

Hey, you're married. You know what I'm talking about.

Have fun, I intend to.

Well, that has kept me from staying around here just for the fun. You're a good part of the group.

[WesternSwing]

Gonna miss ya' ES. Hope you still pop-in once in awhile.

Mr. WS

[cumhungrycouple]

Okay...

I have noticed probably the weirdest reality in all of swingdom...

We entertain single men on ocassion, but are quite picky. It is getting tougher and tougher to find single men as we know some singles who really "drive up the price" so to speak. We know what we want.

So, when we read profiles on the internet, a large amount are simply ingnored for one reason or the other.

But what we have noticed is that when an ad really catches our eye and makes us go "hmmmm" - the guy who posted it NEVER comes back. This has happened about a half dozen times. New guy joins SLS - throws up a profile that really seems to "get it" - and then he is gone. Never to return...

They are the kind of guy we'd contact and feel pretty good about - its as if they have read the very best advice from some of the better single guys around here... And then...

POOF

It has become a joke here at Spoomonkey ranch. We can tell by the profile whether or not they'll ever visit the site again. And so far, unfortunately, we have always been right...

Can someone shed some light on this?

Spoomonkey

hi, i would just assume the guy got horny - made a nice intro then got scared when he got reponses!

meeting a couple must be nerve racking for a single male. homophobia is a natural male thing. will his dick be big enough? will the other guys be bigger? is he secretly bi? etc etc

I would be scared its ok as the couple male as you are with the one you love and care for. i bet most men love the idea but the reality of it.....

[kylezx10r]

dont know ... But i give eveyone a fair chance

Kyle