swinging with a large body scar?

[fastsporty]

We want to get back into swinging but I have gained a large body scar or 3 since we last played and know it isn't sexy at all. I cant change this so look for advice on what to do about it? Should I tell people up front or let them find out later? I hate hiding anything. Just not sure here....

[BiloxiCouple]

This has come up in conversation with us before. For us it's no big deal. It's just part of the art of life. And after a bit you don't notice it anymore. My wife has had a couple of surgeries which left some scars. I would rather have the scars than not have her. She also has a tattoo which I don't notice anymore.

I worked with a lady many years ago. She had some facial scarring from a bad surgery. I never asked her about it. Several weeks after working with her she asked why I didn't ask. Just told her when she was ready she would tell me about it. Again after a short period of time I didn't notice. Her personality was more important.

[sexyshelby]

Scars are a part of life for many of us. Like others said, after a while you don't notice them. No sense in hiding it, in my opinion.

~SS

[fastsporty]

thanks all but I worry about the first reaction of others. hate to scare off people that.... you know never mind that comment, if they cant look over or through that oh well...

[CuriousInOregon]

I agree with all of the above SCARS ARE PART OF LIFE Some emotional some physical I wouldnt turn someone down because they had a scar on their body You will be just fine

[dinkydow4us]

Hi everyone. My wife had breast cancer 12 yrs. ago,and has a large mastectomy scar. Every time I see that scar, I'm reminded just how lucky I am that she's still with me. What I'm wondering is. Would this be a show stopper in the lifestyle? Would like any info you could send along. Please don't pull any punches, we're big kids. dinky.

[biblonde]

I think we all have some sort of scare here or there. They are a part of you and something that is almost impossible to get rid of all the way. Anyone that would shy away just because of a scar is shallow and well personally not someone I am interested in getting to know. Dinkydow4us....be proud of something like that...She overcame something that could have ended her life! I would never say NO over something like that. Anyone that would freak out isnt anyone you would really want to hang out with.

best of luck

[JaneAndJohnDoe]

This is an excellent thread, and the responses I've seen so far show the maturity and reasoning of many in the swinger community.

Kudos to all of you for being real people, and not superficially focused on silly things like scars and stretch marks!

There is beauty in all things, and the comment made about her mastectomy scar being a reminder of how lucky he is to still have her in his life is exactly what I'm talking about. Society/porn/magazines/etc all serve to deplete our ability to see true beauty in all things. People like us help to regenerate that ability to recognize differences and unique characteristics as a definition of beauty itself.

To me, it is these differences that make us beautiful.

[fastsporty]

Thanks All. You have helped me realise that scares even large ones are lifes reminders of my favorite saying "live life to its fullest as you only have one to live".

[CuriousInOregon]

Your so very welcome I am sure you will be just fine and IF some SOB looks at a scar and turns their head Well You didnt want them anyhow

[thediva05]

I to have had surgery similar to dinkydow's wife and over the years scars have been left . Mine were benign but they have never been able to determine that for me with typical methods of mammograms and ultra sounds. For whatever reason they have only been sure of what I have after doing surgery and running tests on the tissues. This has left scars over the years for me and my first surgery started at 24 and I certainly have been around the block in those ten years since I began having surgery and a few more since that intial one. In all those years I have only had one to actually notice and make a comment on it and it was actually a person who has never seen them in person but was looking at one of the photos online that I have. So to say the least I was certainly not interested in anything else that was going to come out of their mouth and I certainly was not interested in meeting. Because like what the other posters stated I simply do not have time for people that stupid or shallow.

[cowboynlady]

Fastporty,

I think your main question was "do I tell people before hand?" I would say that if I was told up front it would not discurage me at all from getting together. If I wasn't told up front, or nothing was said when we met, then I think it would be uncomfortable just with not knowing how you feel about it or what to say ect....

I think be open about it and things will go just fine. If your not, you might come across some insensative jerks that might end up hurting your feelings in the long run.

[BiloxiCouple]

I think your main question was "do I tell people before hand?" I would say that if I was told up front it would not discurage me at all from getting together. If I wasn't told up front, or nothing was said when we met, then I think it would be uncomfortable just with not knowing how you feel about it or what to say ect....

Some good advice.

[Mephisto]

This might seem a little weird -- Oh well -

A while ago, while searching through google image search, I came across some pictures of a woman. The picture looked like she had been split from just under her arm pit, down below her rib cage and across to her naval (SP). The scar was indented and very noticable. She wasn't a "perfect" 10 by any means, but my what a sexy woman she was, Scar and all -

Her smile and seeming confidence made all the difference.

I hope this helps.

[fastsporty]

Fastporty,

I think your main question was "do I tell people before hand?" I would say that if I was told up front it would not discurage me at all from getting together. If I wasn't told up front, or nothing was said when we met, then I think it would be uncomfortable just with not knowing how you feel about it or what to say ect....

I think be open about it and things will go just fine. If your not, you might come across some insensative jerks that might end up hurting your feelings in the long run.

It wouldnt hurt my feelings but I can see my loving wife comming unglued and ripping them a new one.. Just wouldnt be good for a meeting of this type. So yes I'll try and say that up front without also scaring off people as it may seem like I'm totally mutuated or something. :rollseyes I've had heart bi-pass surgery so that's there and the three below that and then the removeal of the vein along the leg left 3 more scars..