Ed here-- Over the years I've see a fair share of men and women cheat on their marriages. While, initially, the sex is fun, things never end well. This is because to have the sex, you have to lie, deceive and become the type of person you don't want to be. This results in further behavior and actions that diminish you and burden those around you. In short, in every case, the person said it wasn't worth it.
With healthy swinging couples, the desire for sex is up front and no one is being lied to. In fact lack of communication and honesty is usually the only thing that causes problems and not the additional fun sex expressed within a healthy relationship.
Susan has been completely open with me from the first nanosecond I asked her out. Her sexual expression is something I celebrate as opposed to be worried or burdened by. And, for me, sex with friends has been incredibly liberating. Yet, none of it would have been possible if there wasn't honesty and communication. If there wasn't, I could have never tried Swinging and never could say,"Watching Susan fuck is a rockin' experience ".
On the one night stand cheat versus long term cheat. I had a colleague who did something stupid while traveling on business and had a one nighter. He'd never done anything like that before and would never again. He should have just left it as a mistake and moved on. Instead, he needed to unburden himself and told his wife. What a jerk. She was fine without this information and was severely hurt. They got counseling and remain married 15 years after the event. But, there was a 'catch'. He always has to let her know where he is and what he's doing when she's not around. So, because he felt the need to tell her about one stupid night, he's chained to that mistake for life. His wife is also chained, she just doesn't realize it. So, from my perspective, a one night mistake should be left in the past or it easily stays with you a lifetime.