Can a swinger woman be TOO slutty?

[bear_and_babe]

In your opinion is there such a thing as a woman acting too sluty in the lifestyle? In my swing circle being called a slut is a good thing, it is use as a term of endearment but being called too sluty is not. BTW- we define a slut as a woman who likes to play and is very open minded.

I was at the club one night and a woman told me that I had better be careful, that I was being too sluty just because I was dancing topless. I know, the horror, a woman dancing topless in a swing club! She then went on to tell me that men don’t want to play with a woman if she is too sluty. Now this was from a woman who had 4 guys lined up giving them blowjobs in an open room, putting on a show. Not that I think that was too sluty. I think her thinking is a little skewed. I know a woman that will screw anything with a dick, she doesn’t care who or what it is attached to. I am not sure if that is being too sluty or just not being very careful.

So guys, if you think that there is a line where a woman has crossed over from being a slut to being too sluty, what is that line?

[tojoe59]

To sluty? I think is a personal call but it's also a women that is open & free. She maybe a soccer mom by day. At the club or party she let's loose and want's to get wild. I have been with a women that was your class A PTA mom by day. Met her at a house party, Short tight leather mini skirt, Black stockings w/garters and her shirt open for the world to see her little tittys. She's not sluty she getting wild and wants to shock some people. Maybe even herself. She did get close to sluty when I was getting a bj from her and another guy was F**ing, Her hubby came in and wanted to know if she was alright, she did not stop and just gave the thumbs up sign.

[Paphian]

In your opinion is there such a thing as a woman acting too sluty in the lifestyle? In my swing circle being called a slut is a good thing, it is use as a term of endearment but being called too sluty is not. BTW- we define a slut as a woman who likes to play and is very open minded.

Um... no.

One of the things that I think is the best about swinging is the opportunity it provides for people to just let go and get as wild as they like. While their particular idea of fun might not be my idea of fun, that doesn't make them "too slutty".

The few situations I've seen where I've heard someone complain about someone else being "too slutty" it's usually been:

One woman complaining about another because that other is either getting a lot more attention for one reason or another or is getting attention from someone the complaining women had her eye on...

or

A guy complaining about a woman because he's not getting any action from a woman who has been playing with a number of other men.

In both situations, it seems like it's more sour grapes than any sort of valid assessment.

It's truly amazing just how openly sexual many women are willing to be when in a situation where they feel they're both free to do so and safe in doing so. I think that there are some who feel threatened/jealous/shocked/whatever at that sort of behavior, and thus judge those that do feel that free as "too slutty".

[RnLinohio]

OK, asked hubby and he agrees. As long as no is getting hurt, and the women is having a good time. What right is it of anyone else to judge her?

But i could be reading the question wrong. Are you asking the men if they prefer the women they meet in the lifestlye to be more slutty?

If that is the case, then just like prefering bigger titties or smaller titties, i think it just depends on the guy.
As for hubby, it depends on his mood as to which women he prefers, a sluttly one or a non slutty one.

R

[VanHlebar]

Well from my point of view I don't think what you were saying would be too slutty. I don't know if I could even say a lady was acting too slutty . If she is there to letgo and have fun, and that is her idea of fun then so be it. There were a few ladies that were dancing topless at the club this past weekend, I didn't see anyone complaining about it that's for sure.. Actually I was very much enjoying the view

I joke around all the time with my wife now that she has opened up that she enjoys being a slut. Again using the term as a term similar to the way your group does. She would never just do a gang bang with strangers (Would Mrs Van?? ) but would she like to used an abused by a number of men that she knew.. I am sure of it.. Does that make her too slutty? I guess in some peoples minds it would... but I am guessing most people here would say no.

I would think this lady just wasn't very happy that you might have been stealing some of her thunder.

-Van

[beaverz]

I’m sure there is a line for everyone as far as too slutly. I think my “Too Slutly” threshold would vary depending on location and on normal activities. At church or at the PTA meeting might be quite different than at a strip club or swing club.

I know I have an extremely high tolerance before my “Too Slutly” threshold is met, so don’t worry about me .

PS. I have been trying to live my life the correct way. I’m hoping I will be awarded a hundred sluts when I die instead of hundred virgins. Out of the hundred virgin how many would turn out to be frigid?

[Sweet_Candy]

Too slutty? We are swingers aren't we? I thought we were suppose to be as slutty as possible? <EG>

[TomF_22033]

Too slutty? We are swingers aren't we? I thought we were suppose to be as slutty as possible? <EG>

I don't like slutty women. Now sexy is a whole different thing. The difference is huge to me. I guess to me the hooker look, and the attitude of I'll screw anything just doesn't work for me. Now, a woman who has class, while being wild will win my heart any day. I guess the difference to me is like the difference between being confident and being hung up on yourself.

[Sweet_Candy]

Slut is a pejorative term for a sexually promiscuous person (usually females), or one who gives the appearance of being more sexually accessible, active or demonstrative than is deemed socially acceptable.

The term has traditionally been applied to women and is generally considered an offensive term of disparagement. As such, it may be applied to a woman perceived to be "sexually loose" for any variety of reasons, such as wearing provocative clothing, being overly saucy, or engaging indiscriminately in sexual relations with new partners after only a brief period of acquaintance.

Alternate Usages

Although usually considered offensive when applied to women, the word slut is often used more light-heartedly within the Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/Trangender communities, signifying, for example, an expression of envy by others, a friendly jibe among friends, or (when used self-descriptively) an expression of pride in one's sexual prowess.

Among practitioners of polyamory, with reference to the book The Ethical Slut, the term has been reclaimed as an expression of choice to openly have multiple partners, and revel in that choice: "A slut is a person of any gender who has the courage to lead life according to the radical proposition that sex is nice and pleasure is good for you".

"A slut is a person of any gender who has the courage to lead life according to the radical proposition that sex is nice and pleasure is good for you".

Is the way I see being "slutty" in the LifeStyle.

[VegasLee]

If you find some women that you feel are to slutty, please send them to me, I will get back to you with my findings.

[Thrax]

Slut or slutty? Within swinging I have no problem with those terms. In the vanilla world they are derogatory, but they're almost a badge of honor for women -- well, men too, not to be sexist -- in SchwingWorld.

However, too slutty? When I think of that term with regard to swinging, I think of totally indiscriminate sex. Sort of, "Just about any partner will do, doing anything," and for some reason that also brings to mind a lack of the use of protection...or reason.

I just want to let you folks know that I do NOT think it's a negative when women or men express their sexuality in a very blatant way that is appropriate to the setting, however contrary it is to VanillaWorld. And if a sexually RESPONSIBLE person (taking precautions to protect him or herself AND partners) has sex with multiple partners, or dresses like their clothes are going to fall off of them, or whatever, acts "slutty" then, more power to him and/or her.

So, I guess the line for me is the totally IRRESPONSIBLE slut, not just a slutty person. The totally irresponsible slut has no regard for his/her body or for the people he or she plays with.

I'll be thinkin' on this and might post more, since my post seems to be a tad unfinished. But, at this point, slutty is okay, but "too slutty"... is problematical for me.

(Is this Thrax gettin' serious? As Myron would say: "YOI!")

Thrax
P.S. I think I earned my sluthood a few years ago at a swing Mardi Gras party. It AMAZES me what some women...er, sluts...will do for a string of beads.

[LikeMinds321]

You are asking for opinions from guys, but I would like to comment because I have some strong feelings about sluttiness.

Get me alone, in private, with the couple or individual I/we are playing with and I love getting down and dirty and SLUTTY. You can call me a slut too, I won't mind one bit.

BUT...

when I am out in public, at a swing club, or a swing party, I keep my slut level to a minimum. I don't think much of women who are very loose with their words and actions in public. I don't think it's sexy and I know Mr LM feels the same way.

LM

[imsnowman]

A qualified no. If I felt that the woman was not really comfortable with herself then she would be sort of slutty. But...........

I'm not really crazy about labeling other's behavior (except for bad drivers and right-wingers) and (no that's not an invitation to hijack this thread ) so I would probably just avoid a woman who was uncomfortable with her own behavior.

A woman or man who is confident and happy can't be too slutty.

[just1gurl]

ooooo-weee.

I DO understand what the poster meant, exhibitionist behavior. But, despite SweetCandy saying that it should be applied across the board its not. Its applied ->> to women.

just a thought, not getting down on anybody at all, but can you have the attitude that - well, gee we really would like to snag us a unicorn...

and then get out a rating scale and say - uh-huh, tooo slutty!



VegasLee - You made me snort!

[sexyshelby]

Slut is in the eye of the beholder.

I think the level of sluttiness that is appropriate depends on the situtation. Dancing topless at a vanilla club would probably be considered slutty, or in the least inappropriate.

In general, I would say that there is no such thing as too slutty. But I think there are situations when it does apply, just not in the swinging lifestyle.

~SS