We think they are interested in us for swinging, how do we find out for sure?

[cplfrmthnrth]

Hi,

First off, We are complete Nooobs to this scene. We talk extensively about the fantasy of MFFM, MFF MMF etc... But haven't done anything.. yet.

Friends of ours have invited us to spend the weekend with them about 250 miles from home. They've never come out and asked us to play, but we suspect they might be up for something.

They have also insisted we share a hotel room (2 Beds). The couple has been acting kinda strange with us in the last couple months, and doing a lot of strong flirting.

My main question... Obviously we need to vocalize the question of, are they trying to see if we are into playing with them; or what's up - without hurting feelings, and jeapordizing friendships.... Any suggestions on how to approach this one?

[jennandjamesinm]

First off - Hi ya'll and Welcome to the board!!! Secondly - I think honesty is the best policy here. If ya'll are good friends, then I think they will appreciate your honesty. Just tell them what you think and the signals that you are getting from them.

Having said that - I think that if they are planning something and not including ya'll in these plans - I would tread carefully with this friendship. Friends just don't do this kind of stuff, IMO.

We are glad to have you here on the board though!!! Since you are just getting started - here are some links for you to check out that might help make the journey a little easier......Swingers Advice, The FAQ's, and the Getting Started Forum Check out the old threads, if you have a question that doesn't look like it has been answered - please ask. There is always a helpful "veteran" out there to answer for you.

We hope that you join in the discussions so we can get to know you better

Jenn and James

[cplfrmthnrth]

Thanks! We've been reading posts on this page for quite some time... We are both very interested in what the lifestyle has to offer... Thanks for the great links.

[Vespertine]

Having said that - I think that if they are planning something and not including ya'll in these plans - I would tread carefully with this friendship. Friends just don't do this kind of stuff, IMO.

If the friends aren't swingers, they might not know the "swinger" way to seduce them. Or maybe they're trying to feel them out. In fact, when we're (my husband & I) seducing a Vanilla, we'll set up the playing field like this couple's friends are doing to see if they'll take the bait. It's a good way to get a Vanilla thinking w/out having to say anything incriminating.

I could be justifying my own horrible actions here, but we've had a lot of success with this method.

[Mike and Jan]

Start making jokes now, well before the trip. Like saying you sleep in the nude and do you need to bring a nightie if you're sharing a room! That'll get their attention! Or, mentioning that sharing a room isn't going to mean you're not going to enjoy yourself in bed.
If they don't jump in then you might just let it drop. But, I'll bet they'll spar right back and by the time you're there the mood will be right.

[Just_us49]

If the friends aren't swingers, they might not know the "swinger" way to seduce them. Or maybe they're trying to feel them out. In fact, when we're (my husband & I) seducing a Vanilla, we'll set up the playing field like this couple's friends are doing to see if they'll take the bait. It's a good way to get a Vanilla thinking w/out having to say anything incriminating.

I could be justifying my own horrible actions here, but we've had a lot of success with this method.

Many times if you were to ask a person outright, they will usually run for cover and you could incriminate yourself in the process. Maybe right before anything happens, you might clarify just a bit or I guess you could just let happen what happens and talk later!

And Ves I can't imagine anything horrible about you.

-D

[Just_us49]

Start making jokes now, well before the trip. Like saying you sleep in the nude and do you need to bring a nightie if you're sharing a room! That'll get their attention! Or, mentioning that sharing a room isn't going to mean you're not going to enjoy yourself in bed.
If they don't jump in then you might just let it drop. But, I'll bet they'll spar right back and by the time you're there the mood will be right.

This is exactly what we would do. It can be very exciting to see where it all ends.

-D

[Vespertine]

This is exactly what we would do. It can be very exciting to see where it all ends.

-D

Dito

I think that's a great way to feel them out and see if their flirting is genuine or just in jest.

[Vespertine]

And Ves I can't imagine anything horrible about you.

Thanks!

[jennandjamesinm]

If the friends aren't swingers, they might not know the "swinger" way to seduce them. Or maybe they're trying to feel them out. In fact, when we're (my husband & I) seducing a Vanilla, we'll set up the playing field like this couple's friends are doing to see if they'll take the bait. It's a good way to get a Vanilla thinking w/out having to say anything incriminating.

I could be justifying my own horrible actions here, but we've had a lot of success with this method.

I didn't think about it this way, good point. And I dont think you are justifying your "horrible" actions It's actually a good idea!!!

Jenn

[jennandjamesinm]

Start making jokes now, well before the trip. Like saying you sleep in the nude and do you need to bring a nightie if you're sharing a room! That'll get their attention! Or, mentioning that sharing a room isn't going to mean you're not going to enjoy yourself in bed.
If they don't jump in then you might just let it drop. But, I'll bet they'll spar right back and by the time you're there the mood will be right.

Hmmmm - now I have a plan Great way to handle it

Jenn

[CuriousInOregon]

Start making jokes now, well before the trip. Like saying you sleep in the nude and do you need to bring a nightie if you're sharing a room! That'll get their attention! Or, mentioning that sharing a room isn't going to mean you're not going to enjoy yourself in bed.
If they don't jump in then you might just let it drop. But, I'll bet they'll spar right back and by the time you're there the mood will be right.

GREAT PLAN I think I may keep that Idea in mind as we are still newbies

[wtxcpl]

In fact, when we're (my husband & I) seducing a Vanilla, we'll set up the playing field like this couple's friends are doing to see if they'll take the bait. It's a good way to get a Vanilla thinking w/out having to say anything incriminating.

You mean to tell me that's NOT how your supposed to do it? LOL

[cplfrmthnrth]

This is exactly what we would do. It can be very exciting to see where it all ends.

-D

What if I were to mention that when we were in highschool... we had played around a little bit with the F from the other couple. She was a roomate of my fiance.... I do like the jokes idea... I'm usually cracking jokes about that stuff anyways.. This is great advice!!!