weird conversations with single males.

[nandc3536]

The other day a read a "rant" from a single guy saying they get no respect. I found it amusing and unbelievable. I was thinking that he could not possibly the "norm" for the single guys. Hubby and I have been entertaining the idea of a mmmf. We are simplely in the "fantasy/could be reality" phase. I decided to answer a couple of emails from singles. The first one I chatted with (tonite)really threw me for a loop. The chat started like this...nice pics...your really good looking...too bad you don't want to meet me (to which I replied)I didn't say that, right now we're meeting with couples, but are toying with the idea of a mmmf. (his reply)too many guys a like just the mfm thing.(me)well then, we wouldn't be a good match. (him) why.....Ok here's my question. Wasn't why just answered? He then proceed with well I'd really like to meet you but if it has to be on your terms then I guess not. At this point it just seemed a little strange to me, so I replied...I feel like this conversation isn't going well. I thought that I had explained that we we're quiet ready to entertain singles. I'm sorry If I was misleading. Have fun at your party (a swing party he had invited us to)(HIM) you change really quick don't you (ME) what r u talking about (HIM)well you send me an email saying I'm really good looking then you say your not entertaining singles but may be looking for a mmmf I answered saying I only like mfm so you would think maybe we could get together and do that since you think I'm so good looking but you turn and say we're not a good match.
Is this the weirdest conversation ever or what?! So now I'm feeling bummed, because I would like to make some connections now that could lead to something more, but I'm just too nervous now. Am I in the wrong here or was he "nuts"?

[DnHtxCPL]

Sounds to me like he's the crazy one. You want the mmmf thing, he thinks that's too many m's. And what's with the "if it has to be on your terms then I guess not"? Am I missing something here? Get rid of that guy quick. Plenty of other singles out there willing to accept your terms. Good luck and have fun.

D

[Mr&Mrs-naughty]

No, your not nuts.

A lot of people out there on the ad sites a little weird, but a lot are not.

We have had SEVERAL chat sessions with single males go the wrong way really quick. As soon as you say something they don't want to hear or don't like they can get down right rude or very offensive.

We have learned not to sweat it. There are plenty out there that are down to earth but you have to be careful.

When we are chatting with a single male and he seems to get a little weird or starts giving us an attitude not only do we end the chat session we immediately block him.

Maybe it's just miscommunication but it doesn't matter. If we get off on the wrong foot that quick then chances are it isn't going to work.

[curious24]

Did you ask that guy if he graduated middle school? Cause it sounds like to me he probably dropped out around 7th grade

[curiousagain]

Block him for all the above reasons and more. irregardless of their sex, single or couple, whatever, somebody with those issues is not someone you want to talk to again.

[ted_ell]

Sounds like he's just looking to get laid. Interested in himself, not you or your hubbie. Ignore him. There are plenty of us out there that would love to help you reach your goal.

[nandc3536]

Thanks for letting me rant. It's good to hear I'm not the only one thinking he's rude.

[EternallySingle]

Relax a little bit and don't take things so hard. That was the first guy you talked to. You will probably have to talk to a dozen or more guys SEVERAL TIMES before you get two guys wiling to meet you and your husband. While I do like a group thing occasionally, it will take a lot more than one email a couple saying she's interested to make me take them seriously, let alone decide to go meet them.

If it helps, in the future pretend you are trying to convince two single women to join you and your husband. Figure out what you would say to make them not only take you seriously but want to meet you. If he really had an invitation to a swing party, he does have other options, and people willing to work within his desires and limitations. If he doesn't, then he's looking for someone willing to take him seriously.

I know its hard to imagine single men turning down free sex, but even jerks have a few standards they want met. Usually those standards are little more than a pulse and the ability to move a little, but they do have things they will and will not do.

[PaPasion4BiLady]

It's the Mrs. here ...Even though this is not what we are seeking...I thought everyone would not mind my opinion on this topic....I would stay clear of that guy flamethrow This is a fantasy you & your hubby are looking to explore. Were does he get off saying "I'd really like to meet you but if it has to be on your terms then I guess not."....HELLO!!! It's Your Fantasy, of course it's your terms...he's the single guy....he should be lucky that you took the time to talk with him...& he has the nerve to turn your fantasy around & make it on his terms. This guy is definitely out for his pleasure & his pleasure only. I'm sure you just came across someone that was a real jerk...we all have came across those I'm sure...if you & your hubby want to turn your fantasy into reality...I'm sure through talking with others, you'll know which ones are selfish & out for just themselves....& those that really want to be a part of making your fantasy a mind blowing experience.
Take care Everyone & Play safe, Bi from the female half PaPasion4BiLady
Our Yahoo Profile

[curiousagain]

He only does MFM and they were looking for a MMFM but he thought she might think he was good looking enough she and her husband would change their minds to a MFM and maybe even go to a swing party with him.

That is why I said block'm and move on.

I agree with ES's post but I was giving the advice I did for the above reasons.

[EvilMJ]

I don't have any experience with single men other than the board, and so far they have been a pretty amazing bunch of guys.
I guess it is easy to forget the other person might feel the same as you and they are trying to keep to their own set of rules and live their own fantasy.

It could be that he is a freak, or it may be that it's hard to get your point across by a computer. But I don't think that all single guys are bad and for the most part I would go into it hping for the best..

[curiousagain]

But shouldn't it also be a fantasy of the single guy before he agrees to it? Or, at least one he is willing to participate in? There's nothing wrong with them chatting then realizing they are seeking different things and moving on, what I thought warranted a blocking was his expectations that the couple change just for his looks. I would give him the same advice if the situation were reveresed.

[EternallySingle]

grrr...lost the first part of that post. Didn't cut enough when I ran it through word perfect to check the spelling. LOL

The first paragraph was supposed to say :
"Well, I would not have anything to do with this guy anymore and just keep looking. He seems a little too uptight and demanding to be open to new ideas. Why would he keep harping on the fact that there are too many men and that your ad said one thing and you said another? Then gets upset that your fantasies aren't in line with his? Forget him. Totally. Don't let him make you hesitant with the next guy."

I stand by what I wrote after that. You have to remember that nobody has to like you and nobody has to do what you like to do.

[curiousagain]

I stand by what I wrote after that. You have to remember that nobody has to like you and nobody has to do what you like to do.

Sound wisdom to ANYBODY!!!

[Dave_kat]

That is honestly one thing that bothers us about singles as well.. We get a lot of attitude about how they are doing us a favor, or we're strange to not want to include them in our activities.

For us, swinging is about expressing and enjoying our desires for each other, as well as experimenting in the wilder side of human sexuality.

And yet, should we desire a single man or two, or even 3, it's just as easy to go to a nightclub and find them without all the exchanged emails and scheduling times and availability.

We feel that if we invite a single to join us, we're offering to someone to share in our explorations. How is that doing us a favor?

Not all are like that, we certainly don't mean to be generalizing things, but enough are to make us see a pattern.

As far as their fantasies, we'd certainly think that for that person to be participating, it would have to be something they would be interested in doing.

We do agree with everyone here though. If it starts getting weird, just don't worry about it. Look for the needle in a haystack, you'll find it eventually.