Is there really such a thing as safe sex?

[TexasBlondie]

Hi Guys,

Our first (non-introductory post).

We have read many (yes.. many) swingers ads that say "Must Use Condoms" yet when you look at their pics many of them show group intercourse (or intercorse with the non SO) using NO condoms... which begs the question: Are people honest about all of this? Hmmmmm....

Also, what about the ladies sharing toys with one another? I have NEVER seen any lady slap a rubber on a toy. Hmmmmm....

Then the ladies also play with one another (in our situation) and then they often times touch themselves with their fingers after having their finger in their lady partner.... Hmmmm.....

No condom or saran wrap and oral sex = STD potential.

Oh.. and a question.... Have you ever heard of anyone contracting a STD through sharing lube? I mean your touching yourself or your partner and then the container and then.... well, you get the idea.

I don't think that most in this lifestyle can actually have "safe sex" due to the prevelance lady on lady intercorse that takes place in most encounters. That is unless you bring lots of saran wrap and are willing to use it and wash up a lot in addittion to dicks being sucked with a condom in place. Just my opinion... not a doc or anything.

Hugs,
TexasBlondie

[WesternSwing]

I can't answer for others, but we always use condoms with others. Period. Our ad says it, and that is the way it is.

Toys haven't come into our play with other couples yet, so I can only say that right now the rule would be "no swapping toys".

Mr. WS

[misterbates]

We use condoms for inercourse(M/F) mostly for pregnancy risk...as for std protection..we dont beleive that so called safe sex is either...think about it..do you wanna suck on a condom?or lick a peice of rubber???i dont, i want the flesh thats what makes the sex sex....if std's are that much of a concern to you ...dont swap..stay with your own partner..because it aint gonna be much fun if you try to make it 100% safe....if we think a person is an std risk..we dont play..simple as that!

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

I can't answer for others, but we always use condoms with others. Period. Our ad says it, and that is the way it is.
Toys haven't come into our play with other couples yet, so I can only say that right now the rule would be "no swapping toys".
Mr. WS

Dito That would be us as well. I think the lifestyle has some degree of risk. We do the best we can to minimize it but there is always some element of risk involved. If it becomes a big enough concern to where we couldn't enjoy ourselves I'd say we'd have to get out, but for now we are comfortable with it.

Mrs Spoomonkey

[stoutgatte]

We always use condoms for intercourse, although not for oral.

Is the way we're willing to risk it, I have a strong dislike for the taste of latex, as do my wife...

[cumply21]

Our profile says must use condoms, and we use condoms for intercourse, but not for oral. There is minimal risk with oral to get an STD, and that small risk is something that we take. I don't like the taste of condoms. And, so far, no one that we have played with has ever used condoms for oral either. There is no way to be 100% safe.

[DanBridget]

To add to the topic. We use condoms for the STD not preg worries. But we don't use them for oral mustly because of the bacteria that can kill most STD's. But unless we are having intercourse, we limit the use of condoms, because Bridget is allergic to Latax, most likly from over exposure at work. But can handle a small amount of it. Just food for thought. Thats why we would love to see a good non-;atax condom on the market. Hey they make medical gloves latax free and have the same protection why not condoms. If they had let us know, becuase I not an expert on condoms.

[TexasBlondie]

WOW !!!!

I am so suprised to see so many replys in just one day.

Anyways, we have been in the lifestyle for just over a year and have had a great time and we just came across this site. It seems to be a better forum for interaction and information than simple swinger "match maker" sites so hopefully we will be logging on fairly often.

Anyway, nice to see a couple of you agree that there is basically no way to practice so called "safe sex" in this lifestyle, most especially with bi-females. That is not to say that condoms should not be used or that I am not in favor of their use.

Also, I have found (as stated in my first post) that there seems to be a lot of hypocrisy in the lifestyle as many couples state in their ads that they require them but obviously don't with a simple look at their pics.

By the way, no one commented on the transferability of STD through LUBE and precious little was mentioned re: toys and fingers.

Hugs,
TexasBlondie

[cumply21]

I have no idea if STDs could be transferred by lube or fingers that have been playing, but you would think it COULD be possible. Every time that toys have been used that I've seen, the toy was used on one person only and they were cleaned before and after use. I have also read about using a condom on the toy, but haven't ever seen it done.

[ronkaren]

We haven't had many experiences, but I can't see the point in oral sex if I'm not getting wet tongue and I'm not giving wet head (and getting wet cum). Are we just being dumb about the risk of oral sex? I know there is a risk, but how great is it? I love the thought of giving men head and having them cum, though I haven't done it yet with men we didn't know well. I want to do a multi-guy night when Mr. Ron gives me the ok, and I really am into wanting lots of cum. Am I taking unreasonable risks, and do other women crave making men come like I do?

[kb0ogt]

here are our rules for swapping partners.

1. Rubber must be used
2. No swapping of bodily fluids


we are wart/herpes/HPV/HIV free and plan on staying that way. If we meet a couple who does not like those rules we move on. If they dont care about their bodies and are willing to put themselves at risk, they are not for us and we move on and find another couple.

[mok716]

here are our rules for swapping partners.

1. Rubber must be used
2. No swapping of bodily fluids


we are wart/herpes/HPV/HIV free and plan on staying that way. If we meet a couple who does not like those rules we move on. If they dont care about their bodies and are willing to put themselves at risk, they are not for us and we move on and find another couple.

Please don't take this as a flame because that isn't what it is ment to be... You said you use condoms and won't play with anyone that is puts them selves at risk... Please understand that condoms, while they minimize the risk of warts and hpv don't prevent it. The balls and parts of the shaft that don't get covered by the condom can spread those too.

Yes use condom and yes be careful in your partner selection but the only way to not put yourself at risk is to not play... and thats no fun.

[kb0ogt]

Please don't take this as a flame because that isn't what it is ment to be... You said you use condoms and won't play with anyone that is puts them selves at risk... Please understand that condoms, while they minimize the risk of warts and hpv don't prevent it. The balls and parts of the shaft that don't get covered by the condom can spread those too.

Yes use condom and yes be careful in your partner selection but the only way to not put yourself at risk is to not play... and thats no fun.

You are 100% correct. rubbers are not 100% all the time, but you have to admit they cut the risk quite a bit.

[talltxlady]

I must be really new. what is HPV?

talltxlady

[sweetmelissa]

HPV is Human Papilloma Virus, commonly knows as genital warts. These can be either outside or inside genitalia, therefore a woman may have them and not even know it. The only reason I know this is because once I had an abnormal PAP smear and they had to do a colposcopy (they remove some tissue from the cervix area after freezing it-eeek!) to check and see if I had a problem. I Fortunately, I didn't have HPV, it was just some abnormal cells due to a minor infection. HPV is highly contagious, and as I said, people can have the and not even know it. I don't think even condoms are 100 percent safe with HPV, and the thing about HPV is it is also considered a "pre-cancerous"condition, mainly cervical cancer. Obviously, I have done a lot of research on the topic, but this all happened to me years ago, and some of my info may be dated.

My husband and I are just getting into the lifestyle, but from what I know I would never share a sex toy with anyone else, and I would be mightly careful where those fingers have been beforehand. For example, I wouldn't want someone touching themselves and then me without washing up. Also, if you think I am just being paranoid, you can also get herpes from oral sex from someone with a cold sore! Yes, this is true, it happened to someone I know very well, and is a different type of herpes but just as painful I assure you.

Obviously, I plan on a more limited "play area" for myself and my husband, but we hope we can incorporate other people into our sex life without risking our health as well.