Should I surprise my wife with a swinging situation on vacation?

curious20023 · 06-11-2003, 11:05 AM

My wife and I are going on vacation to orlando and a cruise to the Bahamas. She wants to let her hair down and we have often had fantasies during sex about threesomes. I think she would do it for real but will never bring it up or says that she couldn't do it. Any suggestions on how to make this happen and be a surprise at the same time. Once she gets to drinking she always lets go.

Roxysbayou · 06-11-2003, 02:05 PM

Forget the drinking. You don't want her to do anything that she may regret later. I am for telling her that you want to try it. She may need sometime to get comfortable with the idea, especially if it's your/her first time.

teknurse · 06-11-2003, 03:08 PM

I dont think surprising your with with her first threesome is a good idea. If she is unable to consider it sober than its probably not something she really wants to do.

M&B · 06-11-2003, 03:10 PM

I voted no. No, I don't mean that you shouldn't talk to her about it long before hand. Do that. I do mean that you want to be sure that she is 100% on board with the idea. If somehow she isn't, and the two of you do get involved while on a cruise, keep in mind that sometimes the railing looks awfully inviting to some people under certain circumstances.

Be sure that this is not a condition of going on the cruise, too.

OhioCouple · 06-11-2003, 04:03 PM

I have to agree with what everyone else has said here. I would be really upset with myself and my husband if while in an alcohol induced state that I did something that I hadn't resolved in my own mind yet.

This just reeks of a potential disaster. If she says she couldn't do it, then she may be one of those that are content with the 'pillow talk' and not the reality. The reality is, if she is not completely comfortable with bringing someone else into your intimate lives (in sober or non-love making moments) you may well have spent money for a vacation that you wish you hadn't have taken.

naughty A · 06-11-2003, 04:46 PM

I'm torn between Yes but tell her and No way.

... This is the kind of decision that has to be made TOGETHER.

Echo previous sentiments.

Do not mix alcohol and swinging...

Even now I would not be thrilled if my husband decided to surprise me in this way ... even if it was someone we knew and had already been with.

People always have really high expectations for a vacation and I always find they are a tremendous let down... how do you know you would even find someone...

Have fun.

BradAndJanet · 06-11-2003, 05:13 PM

There is no way could I ever think that this would be a good way to start swinging...

-B

Brit_Pair · 06-12-2003, 06:09 AM

We'd go with the majority opinion here. You need to be sure that this is something she would want to do when she's sober. Relying on alcohol to oil the wheels sufficiently to make it happen does - as someone said above - reek of disaster.

There are so many variables involved in what you're suggesting. The safest course would be to suggest that the vacation *might* be the ideal opportunity for you both to explore your fantasies (away from home, nobody around that knows you etc. etc.) If she reacts favourably, then you can plan it out together. But spring something like this on her unannounced , and you may well be facing your wife's wrath.

Perseus · 06-12-2003, 08:47 AM

You didn't say if you wanted a MMF or MFF, but speaking as a single guy, if I was involved as the third, I would want her to know before hand. Getting into a situation where anger and jealousy can rear their heads, I would be afraid that I would be the one to get blamed. Sounds like a potentially scary deal to me...

Perseus

That said, if you tell her and you decide to do it while in Orlando, I might know someone that might be interested...

curious20023 · 06-12-2003, 04:06 PM

Don't get me wrong here. I am not talking about her getting drunk. I mean that she loosens up and is more free especially when there is no one around that she knows. And I will not, I repeat, will not do anything that I think she will not go for. I would have a STOP code for the other involved.

naughty A · 06-12-2003, 04:25 PM

alcohol or not

stop code for the other party or not.

THIS kind of SURPRISE is NOT a good idea. Period.

alabamafuntonig · 06-12-2003, 07:13 PM

This is a very bad idea
Swinging is a respect thing . One must be comfortable with one another’s ideas on swinging before they enter into it. As most people on here will tell you. A marriage has to be strong enough to handle the little things that arise from swinging. I would if I were you just tell her your plan . If she gets mad at least there was not another persons feelings to hurt. If she says yes bingo .

jen · 06-15-2003, 11:43 PM

drunken sex is so ewww.

Just felt a need to say that.

dayhiker · 06-16-2003, 12:31 AM

hi jen ..
YOur back from your cruise!!>
How was it? I'd love to chat and hear some of the details.

jen · 06-16-2003, 01:58 AM

I got back Saturday morning.

I have to set the evil alarm clock for morning. Ewwww.

Some catch up chat sounds great.

squeeze you soon.

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06-11-2003, 11:05 AM	#1 (permalink)
curious20023 Registered User Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 2 Location: SC Status: couple	Should I surprise my wife with a swinging situation on vacation? My wife and I are going on vacation to orlando and a cruise to the Bahamas. She wants to let her hair down and we have often had fantasies during sex about threesomes. I think she would do it for real but will never bring it up or says that she couldn't do it. Any suggestions on how to make this happen and be a surprise at the same time. Once she gets to drinking she always lets go.

06-11-2003, 02:05 PM	#2 (permalink)
Roxysbayou Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 1,376 Location: Louisiana Status: Married Female Swing Lifestyle Name:likethat	Forget the drinking. You don't want her to do anything that she may regret later. I am for telling her that you want to try it. She may need sometime to get comfortable with the idea, especially if it's your/her first time.
	__________________ I put the "grrrr" in swinger baby, yeah! --Austin Powers

06-11-2003, 03:10 PM	#4 (permalink)
M&B Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 808 Location: Southern Cal Status: quo anti bellum	I voted No I voted no. No, I don't mean that you shouldn't talk to her about it long before hand. Do that. I do mean that you want to be sure that she is 100% on board with the idea. If somehow she isn't, and the two of you do get involved while on a cruise, keep in mind that sometimes the railing looks awfully inviting to some people under certain circumstances. Be sure that this is not a condition of going on the cruise, too.
	__________________ EGBOK!

06-11-2003, 04:03 PM	#5 (permalink)
OhioCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 6,619 Location: Ohio Status: Married Female	I have to agree with what everyone else has said here. I would be really upset with myself and my husband if while in an alcohol induced state that I did something that I hadn't resolved in my own mind yet. This just reeks of a potential disaster. If she says she couldn't do it, then she may be one of those that are content with the 'pillow talk' and not the reality. The reality is, if she is not completely comfortable with bringing someone else into your intimate lives (in sober or non-love making moments) you may well have spent money for a vacation that you wish you hadn't have taken.
	__________________ Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

06-11-2003, 03:08 PM	#3 (permalink)
teknurse Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 125 Location: Lancaster, PA Status: Couple	I dont think surprising your with with her first threesome is a good idea. If she is unable to consider it sober than its probably not something she really wants to do.

06-11-2003, 04:46 PM	#6 (permalink)
naughty A Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 997 Location: windsor ontario Status: couple - female half	I'm torn between Yes but tell her and No way. ... This is the kind of decision that has to be made TOGETHER. Echo previous sentiments. Do not mix alcohol and swinging... Even now I would not be thrilled if my husband decided to surprise me in this way ... even if it was someone we knew and had already been with. People always have really high expectations for a vacation and I always find they are a tremendous let down... how do you know you would even find someone... Have fun.
	__________________ The proper response to "Good morning" is not "Prove it!"

06-11-2003, 05:13 PM	#7 (permalink)
BradAndJanet Only slightly cracked... Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 7,071 Location: Seattle Status: Married Couple	There is no way could I ever think that this would be a good way to start swinging... -B
	__________________ "If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." - Mark Twain All about us...

06-12-2003, 06:09 AM	#8 (permalink)
Brit_Pair Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 3,635 Location: UK Status: Couple	We'd go with the majority opinion here. You need to be sure that this is something she would want to do when she's sober. Relying on alcohol to oil the wheels sufficiently to make it happen does - as someone said above - reek of disaster. There are so many variables involved in what you're suggesting. The safest course would be to suggest that the vacation might be the ideal opportunity for you both to explore your fantasies (away from home, nobody around that knows you etc. etc.) If she reacts favourably, then you can plan it out together. But spring something like this on her unannounced , and you may well be facing your wife's wrath.

06-12-2003, 08:47 AM	#9 (permalink)
Perseus Long Timer Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 161 Location: Winter Park, Fl Status: S. Male seeking Couples and S. Females for good times and possible LTR Swing Lifestyle Name:Perseus	You didn't say if you wanted a MMF or MFF, but speaking as a single guy, if I was involved as the third, I would want her to know before hand. Getting into a situation where anger and jealousy can rear their heads, I would be afraid that I would be the one to get blamed. Sounds like a potentially scary deal to me... Perseus That said, if you tell her and you decide to do it while in Orlando, I might know someone that might be interested...

06-12-2003, 04:06 PM	#10 (permalink)
curious20023 Registered User Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 2 Location: SC Status: couple	VACATION Don't get me wrong here. I am not talking about her getting drunk. I mean that she loosens up and is more free especially when there is no one around that she knows. And I will not, I repeat, will not do anything that I think she will not go for. I would have a STOP code for the other involved.
	Last edited by curious20023; 06-12-2003 at 04:08 PM.

06-12-2003, 04:25 PM	#11 (permalink)
naughty A Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 997 Location: windsor ontario Status: couple - female half	alcohol or not stop code for the other party or not. THIS kind of SURPRISE is NOT a good idea. Period.
	__________________ The proper response to "Good morning" is not "Prove it!"

06-12-2003, 07:13 PM	#12 (permalink)
alabamafuntonig Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 1,357 Location: alabama Status: couple	honey um this is bill he dont bite ! This is a very bad idea Swinging is a respect thing . One must be comfortable with one another’s ideas on swinging before they enter into it. As most people on here will tell you. A marriage has to be strong enough to handle the little things that arise from swinging. I would if I were you just tell her your plan . If she gets mad at least there was not another persons feelings to hurt. If she says yes bingo .

06-15-2003, 11:43 PM	#13 (permalink)
jen Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 1,118 Location: above a rainbow Status: un dolce uno	drunken sex is so ewww. Just felt a need to say that.
	__________________ April in Tulsa - it's fun for everyone!

06-16-2003, 12:31 AM	#14 (permalink)
dayhiker Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 237 Location: MA Status: Single male Swing Lifestyle Name:dayhiker	hi jen .. YOur back from your cruise!!> How was it? I'd love to chat and hear some of the details.

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06-16-2003, 01:58 AM	#15 (permalink)
jen Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 1,118 Location: above a rainbow Status: un dolce uno	hey day I got back Saturday morning. I have to set the evil alarm clock for morning. Ewwww. Some catch up chat sounds great. squeeze you soon.
	__________________ April in Tulsa - it's fun for everyone!

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