My role models are gone, now I'm not sure if swinging is for me

[zannya]

Hi everyone!

I'e been around for a little while I have never posted. But something pushed me to do so today. I have been toying with the idea of swinging for a little while now. I did noy. talk about it to the husband, because i know he will be all for it. So it's just a question for me coming to terms with it. I hope my idea is clear. I'm French.

Only... one thing. As I said, i've been around for a little while. And been following a few posts. I love Mr. and Mrs. Naughty. But they have disappeared. They had so many exciting stories going on, and now... pffffttt... gone!

I have noticed on their profile, her picture is gone. So what happened to them? Marriage gone bad? Because of the swinging? Sorry, was my first idea when I noticed no more picture in their profile. Maybe it's only the life taking back its priorities?

What I'm trying to say is that this thing only scared me. I always thought they were one of the more solid couples on that board. And that solidity don't exist any more for me. They are gone. And now, should I try it or not? Or is my couple going to disappear like theirs?

[TNT]

I don't think you have to worry about them

They had a big move coming up and we're sure that they have just been extremely busy with that.

Hopefully, they will pop in and see your post and reassure you themselves. A lot of times people get busy with their lives and what is going on around them, that even those who are regulars here, have to take a break from the board sometimes.

Teresa

[zannya]

Thank you Teresa.

I don't know, I must have a bout of... maybe I need reassurance these days (my periods must be coming). I don't know why, but they were like my model couple. You identify yourselves with other people sometimes. And I kind of got afraid when I haven't seen them around in a little while. I like them, and I've kind of been comparing my couple to theirs. I do understand that we all have our lives outside the board (thank god, the contrary would be very sad). I hope to see them back. I was thinking... isn't it funny how you get "attached" to people you don't even know... but kind of, since you're following their lives every day?

[WesternSwing]

Originally Posted by TNT

A lot of times people get busy with their lives and what is going on around them, that even those who are regulars here, have to take a break from the board sometimes.

Teresa

Exactly. That for sure is how I am. Sometimes life is going so fast I barely have time to check my personal email much read and post to any of the boards I belong to. So I may make many posts for a couple of weeks and then disappear for a month.

So don't worry, they'll be back when time permits.

Mr. WS

Hey everyone, we're still here and still very happily married.

I know we haven't been around in a while but we are still our regular old selves and enjoying life! facelick

We have backed away from this board for several reasons, let me explain....

We first got into this lifestyle because of OUR fantasy of MFMs. It was mine (MR) at first, at least vocally, and soon it progressed from fantasy sex talk to reality. GOOD TIMES!!!!!

Then we tried to experiment with couples, after all that is what swingers do, because that is what we thought we were.

We tried the "couple thing" but neither one of us got the enjoyment we get out of a good 'ole hard core MFM, not even close.

That is what got us into this lifestyle in the first place and we thought the natural course was to "progress" onto couples.
Once we were in the experimental phase of swinging with couples we found that neither one of us was enjoying this as much as we did when it was a Mrs Naughty sandwich facelick facelick .

So that is when we decided to stick to what got both our fires lit in the first place, the extremely erotic MFM.

Well in this transition back to our "Roots" we found our selves being shunned by swingers and even having to defend our position.

"Why would we not want couples?" we would be asked over and over. "Why single men?"
So we would "defend" ourselves, which seems amazing to have to do with "swingers" and made us uncomfortable.

Soon it came to the point that those we considered "friends" in the swinger world distanced themselves from us because we both weren't "on the market" so to speak.

We also found ourselves having to "defend" ourselves on thread after thread here on how the poor husband sits in the corner while his wife "ran off" and flirted and kissed everyone or how if both couples don't play someone is getting "cheated". (Not us specificaly, but others like us in general)

This is not how we feel and is not our case. We both get equal enjoyment out of her (Mrs naughty's) satisfaction.

So, I/we were getting tired of being painted with "they must have a bad marriage if they both don't play" brush.

To us, when we are participating in an MFM we ARE both playing because we both equally enjoy the situation we are in and neither feel anyone is getting "cheated" or "left out".

So to summarize,

We came to the conclusion that maybe the swinger world is not where we fit in since we are constantly having to explain/defend ourselves (and others like us) and explain why we are imensely happy at what we do.


Maybe we should have explained our absence before we stopped posting but we didn't know we had a following, other than the water boy/ maintenance man thread


Mr & Mrs Naughty

[Dynamar]

Originally Posted by Mr&Mrs-naughty

We came to the conclusion that maybe the swinger world is not where we fit in since we are constantly having to explain/defend ourselves (and others like us) and explain why we are imensely happy at what we do.

Wow... thanks for posting this. It pretty much sums up the way I sometimes feel when I read a post from a couple (or half of a couple) that exposits the "swinging is a couple's activity to do with other couples" way of thinking. And yes, it stings.

Still, I feel like I take away more from the board than I usually give... and I stick around to read and reply to topics that interest me or where I might have something to add, and ignore most of the rest of the "our way is the best way know-it-alls".

Please stick around Naughties!... the rest of us "non-traditionals" need and appreciate your voice(s).

[two4youinswva]

Originally Posted by Dynamar

Please stick around Naughties!... the rest of us "non-traditionals" need and appreciate your voice(s).

Us "traditionals" love your input too.

We've missed your posts and "adventures".

Mr two4you- (Who wouldn't dare define what is or isn't swinging)

[JustAskJulie]

I, for one (and hopefully representing many) never found it to be the case with you that you must have a bad marriage or that you had anything or any need to defend yourselves.

I've often said that there are as many different types of swingers as there are people who swing. Each couple/ person has their own interests and their own thing that has brought them to this "lifestyle". For some it is sex with other couples, for some sex with singles, for others just sex with each ohter in an open environment with others watching.

I hate that you feel you had to back away from here for those reasons, as I (and I know many others) found you to be one of the greatest assetts of this board. Especially after meeting you both on the Memphis Meet Up I found you both to be very genuine, loving and open people, with absolutely nothing to defend.

Thanks Julie

I wasn't talking about us specificaly but those who share the same mind set as us seem to have a hard time getting couple swingers to understand that we can be just as happy, if not happier, than couple swingers.

When ever the subject comes up that only one "plays" the consensus seems to be there must be issues within the couple's relationship- Not only on the board but in the swinger world in general.
So we thought maybe we just aren't understood.

BTW,

We also had a GREAT time at the Memphis meet up and everyone there made us feel more than welcome!

[Sweet_Candy]

We for one are glad everythings great with you two. You could say we are some of your fans. Guess we are to new to start putting swingers into a mold. MFM with singles is not our cup of tea but neither is girl on girl. The variety is what makes swinging so fun. It's been our experience when we tell others we don't care for girl on girl we get shunned, so for us we can relate. But it hasn't stopped us! As for not getting both of you...it's easy why some would be dissapointed. Count us as friends.

[lonesomedove341]

Originally Posted by Mr&Mrs-naughty

Maybe we should have explained our absence before we stopped posting but we didn't know we had a following, other than the water boy/ maintenance man thread
Mr & Mrs Naughty

Mr & Mrs. Naughty

I also love reading your posts...I find that you are one of the posters that I specifically look for when I come to the board.

My hubby and I are also quite new to the lifestyle. We have had one experience with another couple. It was okay...

But we find that my hubby has a big fanstasy of seeing me with another guy. And to be completly honest I find that it interests me as well....

So in reading your posts it helps us to talk and and talk and talk.. And also it shows us that it is okay and there is nothing wrong with wanting that experience. Like you I have noticed other people or couples dont really accept that part. And it is hard to find someone to talk to or in my case to read about..And know that it is okay. And that there isnt anything wrong..With wanting to experience this aspect of it.

So please post when you can and know that there are us out there that do look forward to reading what you write and that are learning thorugh your experiences..It truly does help..And it is helping us meaning me and hubby to get ready for the next step..

Thankyou for all that you have shared to date...

Hugs to you and yours,
Amy

[BradAndJanet]

Glad to hear you're doin' fine! We feel exactly the way you do about MFMs; that's where we've had the most fun. To hell with what other people think! We know what we want and what works for us.

Don't be strangers now, ya hear?

-B

[NaughtyKitten]

Mr and Mrs Naughty

OMG....I have not been around here for a few weeks myself and had no idea you had disappeared. I have always enjoyed your posts and wish you would stay. We understand your postion on MFM. We have a a great time with MFM's and we both enjoy oursleves. I'm so sorry that some people in the swinger world have made you feel uncomfortable. As Julie said, there are all kinds of swingers. I, for one, benefit from listening to everyone's persepctive.

Thank you for all you have shared....it has helped us a lot. Wish you would stick around.

NK

[biblonde]

Naughtys....dont need to defend yourself to us! your choice is your choice!!! WE love ya anyhow and on this board I think most dont care what you are into. We just love your posts and insite on things. If you only like MFM then go for it. This is suppose to be about what ya like and not what everyone thinks you should like. You both will always be welcome here!! glad to see you pop back in!!

[WesternSwing]

Hey Naughtys, please don't leave the post. Mrs. WS and I love reading you posts, and talk about them often.

Although we have until recently been couples swingingers, as we've become more comfortable over the last almost two years now we have ventured into a FMF, Mrs. WS playing solo with the husband of a couple we swing with (and the wife has become Mrs. WS best friend, so we kind of set it up for them ), and last weekend our first real MFM with no other females around. And I have to say from the my point of view, it was incredible. And you're posts gave me allot of the courage to try it. Seeing how totally in love you to are with each other was a huge boost to our giving it a try. Also, your posts about the water boy and the maintenance man has Mrs. WS working on the hot meat department guy at the Walmart that makes it a point to talk with her everytime she shops alone.

I am just totally into Mrs. WS. Whether it is just cooking dinner, reading on the couch together, having sex, or having sex with others. And to see her having the great time she was with me and a single male was just the sexiest, most erotic time I've ever had. It even trumped our FMF (well, we have more of those to come so we'll see ). I now know first hand your appeal to it. And as my wife's best friend said, "now you can never go back." LOL For us it doesn't mean that we won't couple swing anymore, because we love that also, or give up FMF, because we've found an incredible single female that loves to play with us (in fact, what drew her to us was how were were together on everything, it wasn't just one or the other's fantasy). But, there will be many, many more MFM's for us.

One thing we've thought about since last weekend and talking more on a social basis with this single male and his past experiences (he's been in the lifestyle for several years, both married and single) is that it would seem allot of couples are into the female playing while the husband just watches, or takes turns. I think that is where allot of the attitude you've experienced from couples comes from. They have the wrong impression of a MFM. It's not just all about her. This single male was astounded by the active role I took in the threesome, but I always figured it was all about Mrs. WS's fantasy and that the point of having two men in the same room was to be ravished by both men, not just one at a time. She said she has never experienced anything like it. And I'll tell you, once we were there it was just as much about me as her. It is a couple activity! I had the time of my life!

If some can't see that it is about the couple, and is a couple activity, then they are missing the point. A MFM IS about us, not just her.

Like Julie says, there are as many ways to swing as there are swingers. I can't believe some in the lifestyle would not understand, but we do completely. So screw them. They are the type of people that believe that their way is the only way to do things. Keep posting and keep giving us your great insight into the MFM aspect of swinging. I may need your input on some new fantasies for Mrs. WS and I.

Take care,

Mr. WS