My role models are gone, now I'm not sure if swinging is for me

[jennandjamesinm]

Dito Dito Dito

Screw the judgemental ones!!! We love to read your posts and want ya'll to stay. We could see the wonderful relationship that ya'll had when we met at the Memphis Meet Up. I think that Julie is right is saying that there are all kinds of swingers.....so what if ya'll like MFM's and that's it....To each his own we say...

Jenn and James

Wow!

I'm not going to try to speak for Mr. Naughty, but I've got tears in my eyes!

I really had no idea that y'all found what we do helpful. It's nice to know there are people who love us for who & what we are. I was amazed how judgemental our 'swinger friends' became, & how they actually shut us out when they finally understood our situation.

It hurt & we've had to take on a "screw them" attitude(which I don't like).

Sorry, we didn't mean to hijack the thread, just let everyone know where we've been!

[good times]

Mr. and Mrs. naughty,

I agree with a lot of what the others here have said so far and can't think of anything more to add except to say that Mrs. and I have missed seeing you on the board lately very much, and for what it's worth, we consider you our friends and could care less which way you swing.

[robnsusan60]

Mr and Mrs Naughty

If this lifestyle didn't teach the wife and I anything else, it truly improved our communications skills immensely. We started out exclusively with couples and it was a long time before I discovered that she was never really comfortable with another female involved. Or more specifically, another female and me. Long story short, I assured her that I would not feel in the least deprived if our experiences were solely MFM. She had withheld her feelings to be 'fair.' After a very long and frank conversation, we both felt so much better and even more enthusiastic about future activities, that is, MFM's. Oddly, even the thought that she felt that way in itself was a turn on for me.

I was amazed at the transformation, she bacame more than a participant, more like an instigator, and a very enthusiastic and innovative participant.

In my opinion, you didn't hijack the thread, you helped make it a very profound discussion.

Rob

WOW!!!!

Thanks everyone, now I feel like shit for having left!!

Seriously though,

We felt squeezed out of the "traditional" swingers world because couples are not our thing and it made us step back and re-evaluate exactly what we are and we came to the conclusion that maybe we aren't swingers at all.

Rather we are just a fun couple in love who like to occasionaly invite another male in for some good times and hot sex.

But after reading the responses in this thread maybe there is room for people like us here. (Not saying we felt shunned from this board, just not in the "norm" of what the general consensus on what couples that swing do and at times felt like we had to justify why what we do is not wrong)

But as far as the outside swinger world- we will be keeping our distance and just do our own thing and have some fun when it comes our way, or when WE find IT .

And to those who would never play with out their spouse playing too,

That may be the way you look at it in your relationship but there are many others who veiw it differently. For us play time is rocking Mrs Naughtie's world to the greatest extent possible. No issues, No drama, Just hard core fun! facelick

So when you see the guy sitting in the corner or at the bar while his wife is flirting around it may not neccessarily mean he is not enjoying himself it may just mean he is enjoying himself so much can't stand up from the anticipation of what he knows is sure to come later that night. Hot sweaty sex where he gets to see his wife experience pleasure and emotions on a level that she truly deserves facelick .

For us it is really that simple.

Again,

Thanks for your warm responses, we really had no idea how many enjoyed us here.

Zannya,

Thank you for starting this thread and I hoped we eased your concerns on our where abouts.

We wish the both of you the best of luck and hope you find as much enjoyment out of this lifestyle as we have.

Starting out, there will be some bumps but once you find your niche it's ALL good!!

Talk alot and make sure you don't travel down a road where you are both doing something that you think makes the other happy, when in reality neither one of you is actualy enjoying themselves at all. I'ts a lot of wasted time.

Easy advice to give, I know.
But we have been down that road, maybe it is an inevitable one that everyone in this lifestyle needs to travel, kind of like the teenage years .

[Spoomonkey]

I sometimes feel the same way... People look at us and wonder what such a gorgeous woman could be doing with a little purple monkey. They don't understand that we're happy - and she let's me pick her fleas. Some people just don't understand...

They figure she must have issues or I must have blackmail...

Seriously - much head scratching has gone on. It just isn't the same place without you. You represent a side of swinging that many of us admire - and though MFM is just a part of the lifestyle for us, we certainly understand the appeal. Having "specialists" like you two around added something - not having you here seemed to take even more away.

I'm glad you're back...

I hope you stay...



Spoomonkey

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

Well as always I am jumping in at the tail end (hmmm, monkey's don't have tails ). Anyway, like Spoo said much head scratching and you have been missed. BTW, Mr. Naughty.... Spoo loves our MFM scenerios like you because it is sooooooo much fun for me

Don't leave again the board is just too much fun with you here.

Mrs Spoomonkey

[DBL D]

Welcome Back(?) Naughtys!

This is supposed to be the B.O.S.L.P. If you ever felt like I questioned what you were doing it was just out of curiousity as to how you dealt with the very aspect you talked about--being shunned (How I Hate That Word).

I too look forward to your escapades and your insights.

Please post whenever you want to.

Male D

I should add that there was no person of offense or even a bombardment of posts/threads on those who disagreed with the husband "not playing" and acted like any woman who would do that to their husband is selfish (Shit, sometimes I think I enjoy it more than her facelick ).

Nor do we expect anyone to hold their veiws, if that is how they feel, than so be it. We just ask to keep an open mind as you would like others in the vanilla world to have with you. Just because you don't understand it or it doesn't work for you doesn't make it wrong.

Plus we were getting an "unacceptance vibe" from those who we have met in the swinger world (locally) even those we never played with.

So we re-evaluated and thought maybe we weren't swingers after all and we still don't consider ourselves that anymore.

But thanks to the overwelming response here from the great folks on this board, I think we do have a spot here .

Thanks everyone

[jdc50]

Okay since no one else has asked the question what happened to the mainenance guy?????

And you should be what you want to be and do what you enjoy. I found this out the hard way.

[curiousagain]

Welcome back Naughty's. I always say the swinging world is a big umbrella and everybody has their own idea of swinging and preferences and such. And, sometimes what a couple wants one time, month, or year is different from the one before. We missed y'all and are always glad to see you here.

I hope all of this has answered some of the original post's questions.

[biblonde]

You have a huge spot here!!! Please hang around even if you dont consider yourselves swingers...that word is what you make of it...It is better to say sexual explorers..he he he

[zannya]

Hi!

Well, I am happy to have started the thread and to see that everything is fine with you two. I always really enjoyed reading your posts and I just thought something was missing here. And as I can see, I was not the only one. I look forward to reading you again.

[Sweet_Candy]

Originally Posted by curiousagain

I always say the swinging world is a big umbrella and everybody has their own idea of swinging and preferences and such. And, sometimes what a couple wants one time, month, or year is different from the one before.

Curiousagain you've brought a smile or two to the wife with your words of wisdom. So far you would be that single male we would consider.