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Cerberus

Do men get bored with the same partner?

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I have to say yes. same sex same partner does get boring...for me. Swinging etc. takes that away and makes me much happier and i appreciate the intimacy with my SO so much more

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Nah, I was never bored with my gf - we just did it to supplement. I would've given up the lifestyle for her and not regretted it, but then again, we were together only four years. Maybe longer and I would've wanted more, haha.

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Well, my wife and I have only been together for about 22 years and our sex hasn't got boring yet. I will get back to you if it ever does though.

 

So, to answer your question, no, I don't get bored with the same partner, but I like a little variety sometimes too.

 

Just because I have a bit of chocolate cake once in a while doesn't mean I am bored with cheesecake which is my favorite.

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Good question!!! I tend to get defensive about the use of the term "boredom" because I feel it implies a strong negativity in disinterest or lack of motivation and that's not at all what I felt. We've been married 30 years and yeah, there's an extreme familiarity and predictability that develops over time (although she still fools me on occasion) and the need for fresh stimulation is a basic result of my "need" for continuous self improvement (both for myself individually and for our relationship). The search for fresh and exciting stimulation led me to explore the possibility of swinging for us - and it worked!!. We've found the unpredictability of the stimulation from swinging to be "exactly what we were looking for" and we've both got that newly-wed feeling again. We don't "need" to continue to swing in order to share fresh sexual excitement with each other (but it does make it easier and it's lots of fun). We've gone to house parties and played only with each other - because we WANTED TO.

 

Swinging is just PART of what we do for fun sex and we're not bored with each other at all.

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The fact that swinging exists answers the question. If you're not bored why think about something else.

 

Bill

 

Why strike up a conversation with a stranger? Unless, of course, your bored.

 

Life is full of interesting and exciting things. We're only here for so long and quite frankly I'm want to have as many experiences as I can. Swinging for us is not at all about being bored, but about having experiences.

 

S

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When my wife was alive I never got bored...she did, a lot :sex: however it was always fun and interesting for over 40 years. God knows, I miss her.

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I have to say yes. same sex same partner does get boring...for me. Swinging etc. takes that away and makes me much happier and i appreciate the intimacy with my SO so much more

 

I agree that if you do the same thing, same routine, same positions day after day after day after day yes, it can get just that....routine. And boring.

However, one of the "duties" so to speak that a married couple has to each other is to keep things fresh. Jay and I have always been good at this, I think because we are both uninhibited freaks and aren't afraid to say "holy shit that was hot"...like Nip/Tuck. The school girl scene was inspirational; I was at the Gap the other day and saw a skirt just like the one she wore. Doing things spontaneously. Last week Jay was in the closet looking for a picture of when we lived in Germany for our daughter. I went in for something, I think I was putting clothes away. LOL, 1 locked door and 15 minutes later he is laying there after having a great oral orgasm. I smiled, wiped my mouth and went back to my laundry. LOL. Things like that keep the spark up in a marriage and are just fun.

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I say no, I have never gotten bored with my wife and we've been together 20 years. Sex between us is fantastic, even if it's just a quickie. For us swinging sex really is simply for variety and it does have the added benefit of spicing-up our sex even more. I'd be worried about our relationship if we were swinging because we were bored with each other. I think being bored with your spouse is just a symptom of a much deeper issue in your relationship.

 

Mr. WS

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I say no, I have never gotten board with my wife and we've been together 20 years. Sex between us is fantastic, even if it's just a quickie. For us swinging sex really is simply for variety and it does have the added benefit of spicing-up our sex even more. I'd be worried about our relationship if we were swinging because we were bored with each other. I think being bored with your spouse is just a symptom of a much deeper issue in your relationship.

 

Mr. WS

 

Yep yep, I think you hit the nail right on the HEAD.

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bored you ask:rolleyes:

no i cant say things have ever been boring. we never started swinging because either was bored.in fact we knew each other since 6th grade and have been sweethearts our entire lives. in high school we popped each others cherries:lol:

 

i suppose if anything it was more of the fact that neither of us had had sex with anyone els besides each other. and yea we were curious, what would sex with others be like. that was the beginning of our explorations together.

 

then things really got exploritory..... if you could imagine we wanted to try everything with others in as many ways as possible.

 

and then there is the secret, before we had had sex with others i always had something special. my wife has more than one personality. i actually had sex with different women many nights when i got home:lol:.

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bored you ask:rolleyes:

in high school we popped each others cherries:lol: :.

 

Wow, thats so sweet! I was actually a virgin when I started dating Jay and he was the only man I had had sex with until we entered swinging as well.

 

i actually had sex with different women many nights when i got home:lol:.

 

LOL, this is true; sometimes I'm in the domme mood and sometimes I'm sub (although I prefer sub to domme); its true....you have different people at different times. Jay is the same way; every man loves being taken by a crazy, sexually charged woman lol...and then some nights he is the aggressor who does his thang very well.

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:kissface:Then again layin next to each other masturbating has it's nights as well...

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If you are with one person for a long time, you learn most of what there is to know about them. A new person is total discovery. It invigorates both members of a couple to have that kind of excitement and it spills over into the rest of their relationship; sexual or otherwise.

 

Each of us likes to see the other have pleasure, or know of it if we are not actually seen. It sparks lots of discussions that are fun and erotic. It builds anticipation for events and for future unknown.

 

Boredom is a word that sets people on edge and causes them to feel that they should not admit to anything even remotely headed in that direction, but sameness has its unfortunate aspects. Swinging is a wonderful boost of vitamins for a couple. In many ways.

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:kissface:Then again layin next to each other masturbating has it's nights as well...

 

MMMMMMMM don't get me inspired lol.

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Life is full of interesting and exciting things. We're only here for so long and quite frankly I'm want to have as many experiences as I can. Swinging for us is not at all about being bored, but about having experiences.

 

I like this answer...

 

I will say that I do not think there is really anything wrong with a couple if they find they are bored and swinging is a way to spice things up. Everyone operates differently and who am I to say that one couple's motivation is the sign of an issue?

 

It isn't our motivation, but that doesn't mean it is a wrong motivation. Our motivation was no different than the motivation of two best friends sneaking out of the house at night. It just seemed like fun and we laughed about the idea and gave it a whirl.

 

Could I get bored with just one woman? Well, I kind of spoiled the control group... I mean - I wasn't bored when I started and have no idea if I would be bored now - since I've been non-monogamous. I will say that sex with Mrs Spoo is HOT, HOT, HOT! I wouldn't trade her for a room full of strippers and bed full of porn stars...

 

Boredom isn't a part of the equation, but to be fair, we didn't hang around long enough to see if it would sneak in.

 

Spoomonkey

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I was monogamous with my ex for 13 years. He was techically good in pleasing me, but his lack of openness to try anything new (even vanilla, monogamous new) made me become almost obsessively sexual in terms of wanting a new partner when other factors came into play that finally ended the marriage. I never cheated, but as soon as the divorce was filed, I had a grand fucking time (and when I first got into group play myself).

 

I have great sex with my current husband and we seem to play about once a month on average, but complete and total monogamy is not something that is particulary satisfying with for either of us, although we were monogamous for the first few years of our relationship (I like to think we needed a solid base ourselves first). I always have the best sex with him, but swinging enhances our sex together. We're getting those "new lust energy rushes" together and it's incredible, but we always know who we love and are commited to. Getting to the point of ignoring all of society's "shoulds" was the hardest part.

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hi

 

Say, If my partner or me said

"I am bored with our sex life" and didn't bring it to the table a positive solution, such as how can We together make OUR sex life Fun again, I think it would be the end of our relationship (plus how could you not know if someone like your partner was bored? it would reveal itself somehow) Ya both gotta keep it stimulating & fun eh?

 

We have a fantastic sex life together cause we make it that way for each other and we are always expressing & finding new ways so the level is "WOW, that was 'hot sex"... & "WOW-we have the Best, that was mind blowing!" "We sure are Lucky!" I would have to have sex like that with my partner or we wouldn't be partners. We would be platonic friends.

 

We have been there for one another throught the thick & the thin 4 over 8 yrs and have had sex about 2525 times together. We laughed when we figured out that number (maybe alittle odd to figure that # out, but hey it was fun to do)

 

Each of us having many encounters including group sex etc. with others prior to meeting each other, we swing now for to share a naughty sexy adventure together. If someone was to say that they were bored having sex with their Partner, I would see that as a red flag.....How could you be a happy couple if your bored with each other sexually?

 

I do not understand -if I was no longer excited about having sex with my partner, why I would even want to swing with them, I would feel that we would be trying to replace something 'missing' in Our relationship. It would be more like 'Im bored & I am going to go have sex with someone new, until I get bored with that, and so on.

 

I hope that wasn't too boring to read :)

 

KinkyKat

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I have to say yes. same sex same partner does get boring...for me. Swinging etc. takes that away and makes me much happier and i appreciate the intimacy with my SO so much more

 

cerberus, i hope by my post i didnt imply that you were wrong in any way to us. we are just different. where we are from, and why we are here is just that,... different.

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I will say that I do not think there is really anything wrong with a couple if they find they are bored and swinging is a way to spice things up. Everyone operates differently and who am I to say that one couple's motivation is the sign of an issue?

 

this is what I'm talking about spoomonkey, for us we see that sometimes when we meet a couple, its clear that they love, and like you said in a previous post RESPECT each other. that is one thing we have learned to look for in couples.

 

ill have to say it though, we have met a few couples that seem to have lost that love and respect for one another. to us its sad. we maybe don't understand that. but then again it not something we can relate to or understand. we don't judge them, but its not something that is good for us.

 

we see so many times that couples want to spice up things up with swinging its true, its is just that... spice. spice that enhances their relationship.

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I don't think it's possible to get bored with Mrs. D! Being in the LS just adds to our excitement level. It allows us to be who we are deep down. Our sex life has always been great, but since we've been involved in the LS it's taken us to new levels.

 

Being able to not have to hide our thoughts and wishes (well desires) has truly opened up our relationship.

 

After being to house parties, swing clubs, LS resorts and nudist resorts, etc. I look forward to "our time" the most.

 

Mr. D

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I don't think it's possible to get bored with Mrs. D! Being in the LS just adds to our excitement level. It allows us to be who we are deep down. Our sex life has always been great, but since we've been involved in the LS it's taken us to new levels.

 

Being able to not have to hide our thoughts and wishes (well desires) has truly opened up our relationship.

 

After being to house parties, swing clubs, LS resorts and nudist resorts, etc. I look forward to "our time" the most.

 

Mr. D

 

I feel the same way you do! Great post.

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I do not understand -if I was no longer excited about having sex with my partner, why I would even want to swing with them, I would feel that we would be trying to replace something 'missing' in Our relationship.

I hope that wasn't too boring to read :)

 

KinkyKat

 

LOL, not boring at all; I love reading everyone's opinions. I don't know, its hard to say EVER. I have been with Jay for 17 years, married for 16. Yes, Moses was still preaching when we got married lol. I have found that in a marriage you never say never lol. You do go through times when you are busy; we have found that as the kids get older it gets CRAZY. You've got volleyball, dance, Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts lol...and it can get crazy. So yes, I think if you aren't careful you can get into a routine. Jay and I both hate routine and are simply committed to keeping it different. But I absolutely agree with you; if EVER you HAVE to swing you need to walk away from it. If you look at your relationship and feel like this is a necessity to keep your own relationship going you need to stop the train. We see this. We have a couple that are good friends. Just this week I told him that they need to stop all swinging and get a marital counselor like YESTERDAY. So yes, this is an enhancement and not a necessity.

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This was an interesting thread! I'm glad to see so many say that boredom didn't lead them to swinging. It wasn't boredom that brought Mr. Tybee and I to it, it was excitement with each other. We were already excited and very much turned-on by each other, and this was just embarking on a sexual adventure together. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

Have you ever met with a couple and sensed that they were there because they were bored with each other? When you can sense that, it makes for a very uncomfortable feeling...you sense a distance between them. Have you been with a couple who were obviously very hot for each other and into each other? The sparks just fly off of them...the heat between them make them hotter and more appealing as play partners, too. At least, that's been my feeling and experience. :)

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This was an interesting thread! I'm glad to see so many say that boredom didn't lead them to swinging. It wasn't boredom that brought Mr. Tybee and I to it, it was excitement with each other. We were already excited and very much turned-on by each other, and this was just embarking on a sexual adventure together. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

Have you ever met with a couple and sensed that they were there because they were bored with each other? When you can sense that, it makes for a very uncomfortable feeling...you sense a distance between them. Have you been with a couple who were obviously very hot for each other and into each other? The sparks just fly off of them...the heat between them make them hotter and more appealing as play partners, too. At least, that's been my feeling and experience. :)

 

And just when are you and Mr. Hot Stuff I mean Mr. Tybee coming to Texas again??? :kissface::facelick::kissface:

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To the OP: why not ask if women get bored as well? Or are you assuming there is something gendered about this?

 

When I was part of a couple and we started swinging boredom was the exact OPPOSITE way you would describe our sex life. We were quite adventurous and always stirring things up, and swinging was a logical extension of that. I think it's safe to say most couples would have a similar experience.

 

If the sex with the same partner is boring to you, maybe you should start looking at yourself and taking some responsibility, IMO. Good sex has nothing to do with how many different people you are having sex with....it's all down to imagination and a willingness to explore.

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And just when are you and Mr. Hot Stuff I mean Mr. Tybee coming to Texas again??? :kissface::facelick::kissface:

 

I dunno, hon! Maybe you two should come over for the Georgia Meet-up! ;)

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I dunno, hon! Maybe you two should come over for the Georgia Meet-up! ;)

 

I know, I know...but for us going to the mall in San Antonio is a big deal LOL. We are c o u n t r y. LOL

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hi

 

Say, If my partner or me said

"I am bored with our sex life" and didn't bring it to the table a positive solution, such as how can We together make OUR sex life Fun again, I think it would be the end of our relationship (plus how could you not know if someone like your partner was bored? it would reveal itself somehow) Ya both gotta keep it stimulating & fun eh?

 

 

KinkyKat

 

 

I thought that was a great post. You are so right. It is up to each partner to bring up the issues they say. It what cracks me up around my house is that everytime one of us brings up an issue it's usually an issue on both sides it was just a matter of who was going to say it first and get it out there. Once we do it makes things SOOOOO much easier. Even if we don't have a solution right then at least we are talking about it and know that we both want to improve the situation.

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I married my high school sweet heart soon to be 33 years ago. Never bored, in fact, I still lust after her like I did in high school. We started in the lifestyle when we turned 40, we're both 51. The lifestyle only verifies that I married the best women in the world for me.

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Bored is a negative term. I'm bored with the routine that has developed over 30+ years of bonkin the same woman the same way. I'm sure she is too. That's definitely negative. But I think we're not bored with each other or we wouldn't be still together. That's a plus. There is some middle ground in some people's sex lives where experience, excitement, variety, fun and several other equally positive adjectives may be used to describe the activities that we describe as 'swinging'. I can't speak with the authority of a seasoned swinger but I have learned this from the posts I read right here on the "board" and that's not boring :lol:

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