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Old 04-17-2008, 07:27 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Default Re: Question for other women only please!

Not at all, low lights/candlelights can enhance the mood.

=)
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Old 04-18-2008, 02:37 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Default Re: Question for other women only please!

I was just thinking that if I had set up a date with another couple and the woman had called me to explain a situation similar to yours, I would like her right away. I would think that she valued my opinion and placed some of her trust in me already. Plus, her reaching out to me would make her less intimidating to me (I am easily intimidated by other beautiful women).

My concern is always with how I will get along with the female half of the couple. I think if the wife in a similar situation as your reached out to me, that would really get us off on good footing. Perhaps, I would like to think, that my positive response to her would make her feel a little more at ease with me, too. Plus, I could give my husband a "head's up" and reduce the discomfort she might experience in feeling like she had to explain anything to him.

Just a thought, if you are comfortable talking to her before this evening.

Regardless, have fun!!!
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Old 04-18-2008, 03:36 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Default Re: Question for other women only please!

Telling them has seemed to end our contact. I let them know, but they don't seem to wish to continue. I'm ok with it, just sad because we both agreed that we would be comfortable with them. And finding couples we agree on is very hard for us, we have very different tastes and opinions of what is sexy.
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Old 04-18-2008, 03:48 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Default Re: Question for other women only please!

OMG!!!!! I am SOOOO sorry to hear that. While everyone is obviously entitled to play with whomever they are comfortable, my heart goes out to you. I cannot help but think, given your honesty and open-mindedness here, that they are missing out on getting to know a wonderful person. Too bad for them.

I hope you can still go out and have fun buying some sexy new lingerie to model for your hubby.

I sure wouldn't hold it against you if you felt the need to vent a little here.
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Old 04-18-2008, 03:59 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Default Re: Question for other women only please!

They were worried from the get go due to my age, but I think this broke the camel's back. I do vent here...lol perhaps too much, but I can be me and say how I see it, and so far, nobody has ever been mean or rude--- just understanding....even if they didn't quite understand my position.
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Old 04-18-2008, 05:15 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Default Re: Question for other women only please!

Quote:
Originally Posted by jnbsmokin View Post
They were worried from the get go due to my age, but I think this broke the camel's back. I do vent here...lol perhaps too much, but I can be me and say how I see it, and so far, nobody has ever been mean or rude--- just understanding....even if they didn't quite understand my position.
Still and all . . . I'm sorry it didn't work out. But if they bailed over this, then you really don't need them. There are plenty of other fish in the sea (even if it takes a bit of time to find 'em).

=)
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Old 04-19-2008, 12:28 AM   #22 (permalink)
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Default Re: Question for other women only please!

Quote:
Originally Posted by jnbsmokin View Post
Telling them has seemed to end our contact. I let them know, but they don't seem to wish to continue. I'm ok with it, just sad because we both agreed that we would be comfortable with them. And finding couples we agree on is very hard for us, we have very different tastes and opinions of what is sexy.
Telling them what? That you prefer the lights to be low or have candles? Or that you prefer not to get totally naked?

Eh, either way...I agree with others...if they run scared that easily, it might be better off for you and your sweetie in the long run, even if it does take a while to find couples you both agree on.
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Old 04-21-2008, 10:35 AM   #23 (permalink)
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Default Re: Question for other women only please!

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Originally Posted by sexcupid View Post
Telling them what? That you prefer the lights to be low or have candles? Or that you prefer not to get totally naked?

Eh, either way...I agree with others...if they run scared that easily, it might be better off for you and your sweetie in the long run, even if it does take a while to find couples you both agree on.
We felt it would be wrong not to tell them about my breast. But it appears they im'ed J and have decided they want to meet after all?! I'm confused...lol
That's not too difficult for me...
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Old 04-22-2008, 01:37 AM   #24 (permalink)
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Default Re: Question for other women only please!

On our second visit to a swing club, we were lying on the mattress of the d group room, nude, playing with each other. Another couple approached us and started to chat. They were nice, attractive, and after chatting a bit we started to play together. I asked the gal why she still had her top on. The gal responded that she had double mastectomies. Oh, I was so embarrassed at putting her on the spot and apologized. The gal responded that it was OK and gave me a consoling hug and kiss. We continued kissing for a while and then both of our guys joined in the group hug and the play started from there. Over the next two hours, we had a fantastic time playing with them, including hard swapping with them (our first time), and Bob gave her seven climaxes with his talented tongue. It was as if understanding her problem broke the ice between us and paved the way for one of our most memorable times. We are very glad that she was brave enough to come to the club because otherwise we would have never had such wonderful memories.

Hope you can have the same kind of fun. If the people you are with have problems with your scars, move on. You will find many others who accept you as you are, and the fun with them will overshadow any jerks you may meet on the way.
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Old 04-22-2008, 09:00 AM   #25 (permalink)
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Default Re: Question for other women only please!

Quote:
Originally Posted by twohots4u2 View Post

Hope you can have the same kind of fun. If the people you are with have problems with your scars, move on. You will find many others who accept you as you are, and the fun with them will overshadow any jerks you may meet on the way.
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Old 04-22-2008, 09:08 AM   #26 (permalink)
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Default Re: Question for other women only please!

Thanks Ladies. I have decided to just go ahead with swinging, and they know beforehand as it's now a part of my profile. All of you have given me a huge courage boost! I appreciate it.
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Old 05-07-2008, 10:44 PM   #27 (permalink)
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Default Re: Question for other women only please!

Quote:
Originally Posted by jnbsmokin View Post
Ok Ladies, I have a very odd problem. Between September 05- July 06, I had six invasive surgeries on my right breast. They took a lot of tissue out during each, and I had to spend over a month after each one, packing a huge hole with gauze. They took all of the milk ducts and my nipple no longer will get hard. In fact, there is a major size difference now. I had a partial masectomy spread out, to make it short. It wasn't cancer, although I am high risk, but it came close to killing me. I do have pics from the first, least severe surgery, after that, it just got too depressing. My concern comes from being uncomfortable displaying all of my chest during play. I am a mom, and I gained 65-70lbs when I was pregnant, my only option to fix the truely loose skin is a tummy tuck, the consultation with the laser expert explained all of that.

How can I find appealing outfits that will allow me to still feel sexy without having to show my battle scars? I kept a low-cut shirt on during all 3, 3-somes and J has already told me that he would prefer for me not to wear so much during play.
I want to have fun without constantly thinking about it! I can get reconstructive surgery, but we have had to wait because it wasn't supposed to come back after the first surgery, so we can't be certain it won't come back. I had one of the greatest doctors though, DR Macon, the director of breast surgery for John Hopkins.
just be honest with who ever and if they truely have any compassion they will be just fine with it i know i would be lets meet for coffee.
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Old 05-07-2008, 10:53 PM   #28 (permalink)
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Default Re: Question for other women only please!

Quote:
Originally Posted by kittyscave View Post
OMG!!!!! I am SOOOO sorry to hear that. While everyone is obviously entitled to play with whomever they are comfortable, my heart goes out to you. I cannot help but think, given your honesty and open-mindedness here, that they are missing out on getting to know a wonderful person. Too bad for them.

I hope you can still go out and have fun buying some sexy new lingerie to model for your hubby.

I sure wouldn't hold it against you if you felt the need to vent a little here.

I wanted to say the same thing but she beat me to it...LOL! I just wanted to lend support as well and tell you that there are a few women at the parties we play at that have had something similar to what you experienced and the one lady wears a shear cover up/blouse and then once into the swimming pool, and she is more comfortable, she will remove the item...but to be honest, I have never seen anyone shy away from her because of it...I think if you have a right attitude, personality, etc., all else will fall into place. Just keep looking for that "right" couple out there and I wish you all the best life has to offer. Hugs, Sharon
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Old 05-11-2008, 01:27 PM   #29 (permalink)
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Default Re: Question for other women only please!

There are many times that I keep a bra or small shirt on, just because I feel like it.
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Old 06-09-2009, 09:07 PM   #30 (permalink)
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Default Re: Question for other women only please!

Quote:
Originally Posted by jnbsmokin View Post

How can I find appealing outfits that will allow me to still feel sexy without having to show my battle scars? I kept a low-cut shirt on during all 3, 3-somes and J has already told me that he would prefer for me not to wear so much during play.
I want to have fun without constantly thinking about it! I can get reconstructive surgery, but we have had to wait because it wasn't supposed to come back after the first surgery, so we can't be certain it won't come back. I had one of the greatest doctors though, DR Macon, the director of breast surgery for John Hopkins.
First of all I want to say Good for you, you have shown great strength through all this and that is admirable. No one of us can know all you have gone through but perhaps I can get you together with my husband. For the longest time he has asked me to keep my shoes on during our encounters, wear crotchless panties and keep my sexy bra on............. I find it exciting to wear something during play and I think wearing a soft cup bra with a contrasting fishnet top or a corset or any number of sexy combinations is so hot. I would wear whatever looks great to you, make it really hot and there will be NO complaints, I promise. I think sheer is great just wear what makes you confident and please don't worry about it. You are awesome!
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