Use of lubes...

[bufferoo]

There is a big sex show this weekend in Toronto and this brought up some interesting conversation this week at work. I was talking to someone here about going to the show as he had heard about it and wondered what it was all about. This lead to some “energetic” conversations with a few other people.

One of the topics that came up was the use of lubes…flavoured lubes specifically. One of the women pretty much shrieked at us about how bad they were and that if ANYONE ever asked her to use them or even worse, just used one without asking that it would pretty much be the worst thing they could do.

Basically she was saying that using a flavoured lube was akin to telling her that she smells and tastes horrible and as such is a huge insult. I tried to tell her that it was nothing like that. In fact I do know a few guys how use flavoured lube exclusively since they just do not like the way women taste. One of the guys I work with admitted that he get’s turned off by his current girlfriends taste and he thought that a flavoured lube would be a good way to get past it.

So my question is this: if any play partners suggested (to any of their female partners here) that they use a flavoured lube, or just did it anyway, would you feel insulted, slighted or upset in any way or would you just be happy that they’re using it and enjoy?

I have found that due to body chemistry or diet people can taste very different to one another (and not always in a good way) and this can be a great way to remove that from the equation. In fact I find that I prefer to use a flavoured lube when I go down on my wife and (so far) she hasn’t had a problem with it.

Any thoughts?

Bufferoo

[EvilMJ]

Personally I would not have a problem with it. I remember when we first started in the lifestyle, being worried about odour or taste, especially after dancing for several hours. I think the nicest thing a partner ever said to me (actually his wife told me he said it first) was that he loved the way I tasted. His favorite thing in the world is to give a woman oral sex so in my books that is a nicest compliment ever.

However, I know that a lot of men may not feel that way about a woman's natural sent/taste, so to me I think if you made it clear that it was in no way a reflection on the woman you are with, but rather just a personal preference you have, she should probably be understanding. After all, not all women like to swallow during oral sex, so why should men be any different? All you can do is be upfront about things. Plus flavored lubes can add a demension of fun to play time facelick

[good times]

We tried them once, found out that Mrs. GT is severely allergic to most of them. So I would recommend that you never use one without asking first, and even then I would try a little first and wait a few minutes to see if the woman has a reaction to it. That is actually what we do with all new lubes now, because nothing is more of a mood killer than a sudden allergic reaction.

[dallmax1]

The use of Altoids helps mask unpleasant odors in lieu of flavored lube; plus it tingles!

[ohash01]

In the past...I have gotten some of those flavored lubes and flavored condoms, and I find that all of them taste like licking melting flavored saran wrap. *Blech*.

I don't know...I'm a clean girl...I take care of myself. I think I would ALMOST rather have a guy say "I'm sorry - I just don't like the taste/scent" then to use that nasty stuff on me. I can do without the oral sex, as long as he can compensate in one way. Luckily, this has never been an issue. I've been spoiled, I guess.

[flkeyscouple]

I think the girl in your office was a bit too harsh! I don't think someone wanting to use a lube, flavored or not, should be offensive. But I also agree that no one should use one without the consent of the ladies - whether it is because of an allergic reaction or simply the shock of the cold/cool or warm/hot lube!

Which brings up a question - do you warm the lube before you use it, or let the body heat warm it up? Sometimes the lube seems SO cold it almosts shocks me out of my mood! Roger now TRIES to remember to warm it first!

Sarah

[JustAskJulie]

Personally, I wouldn't take it as an insult in any way. BUT, I don't like flavored / scented lubes for another reason... they typically have sugar of some sort (or something else) in them that is just asking me to end up with a bacterial infection.

[ShellyM]

In response to Buffaroo's OP,

I know with myself, during different times of my monthly cycle I am drier than others. There are times when I don't need any lube, and there are times when I'm dry as a perverbial bone lol. To me its like this. I'm a mature woman, and I expect to be playing with a mature man (or woman). For you to freak out at me because I ask to use the KY or strawberry flavored gel (which does smell really yummy, btw) would turn ME off. Because to me, that tells me that as a man you really don't know the deal about women's bodies. I think that husbands know the deal. Hey, lets be real. He sees you using your tampons and pads. He knows whats going on. For Jay and the hubby we play with, its just a part of life, and he should want her to be more comfie anyways.......

cause, the more comfortable I am the better sex he gets.

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by dallmax1

The use of Altoids helps mask unpleasant odors in lieu of flavored lube; plus it tingles!

You know, Jay thought he invented to whole Altoid trick.
They should be selling them in sex shops!

[NewTemptations]

I wouldnt be insulted if someone wanted to use a flavored lube. I personally prefer not to use them tho...most flavored lubes tend to be soooo sticky as they start to dry...sticky kinda contradicts the whole purpose of using a lube!

[nmgrrrl]

i have no doubt turfman loves the way i taste as he cant get enough of it. flavors are ok once in a while and it doesnt offend me at all when he brings them home.

[LikeMinds321]

Using lubes during oral has never been part of swinging for us.

Mr LM and I don't see a point in it. If a partner's taste, or smell, is unappealing to you then our view is, don't go there.

I wouldn't want a man using a lube on me during oral because he was trying to cover up something that was unpleasant for him. I don't want a man giving me oral unless he's completely comfortable doing so with my natural scent and taste. I would stop him from using it and in a nice way let him know that oral isn't important to me (which it isn't) and we can find other things to do.

I also don't like the sticky lubes, for this reason we don't use water-based lubes during intercourse or when I am stimulating a man manually, or breastually (I made that word up, LOL) or when his cock rubs my body anywhere that a little lube helps out.

We use the traditional pjur Eros (same as pjur Woman) and love it.

LM

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

breastually (I made that word up, LOL)

I have to remember that when we play, to ask him if he wants it breastually lol.

This is a crazy question, but talking about lube. Does anyone else HATE it when your legs stick together when the woman is on top? I HATE THAT!

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by ShellyM

I

This is a crazy question, but talking about lube. Does anyone else HATE it when your legs stick together when the woman is on top? I HATE THAT!

I've never had that happen, but then, my legs are always spread.

If you use a lube that isn't water based, it should eliminate the sticky problem.

LM

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

I've never had that happen, but then, my legs are always spread.

If you use a lube that isn't water based, it should eliminate the sticky problem.

LM

In all honesty, regular lotion has worked the best for us, and it smells great! Just on the legs though lol. I know, I don't know why I have that issue lol....OR I just pay too much attention to it lol.