Toys for Men (And His & Hers)

[BonoboSim]

I screwed an orange once...

LMAO!

[HoustonTxCpl]

Originally posted by LaylaSusanne:
Although, being in Florida, I have oranges up the Wazoo. Great big ones, the size of grapefruit.

Layla

Now there's a kinky sex practice.
J

I suppose its not a toy as such, but on occasion i have masturbated with a banana peel wrapped around my penis. It gets nice and slippery and gives the feeling of a wet vagina. For a more realistic feeling, warm skin in microwave slightly before use. Just check temp before use!! Since ive been using this technique, it always amuses me when selecting bananas at the fruit store. Needless to say my favourite breakfast is muesli with diced banana...

[hotclubcpl4u]

Originally posted by michigancouple:
I screwed an orange once when I was a teenager.

Yikes..didn't that kind of sting?!??!?!

LMAO

Wife of hotclubcpl4u ROFL

[Flori_DAMAN]

Actually I believe the orange juice would sting an open wound but it won't sting your cock anymore than drinking orange juice would sting your mouth or toungue. I thought this subject was pretty well blended into oblivion by now though lmao.

[JustAskJulie]

quote:

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Originally posted by michigancouple:
I thought this subject was pretty well blended into oblivion by now though lmao.

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Haven't you learned anything from reading this board... no subject ever dies...it just waits around for someone else to bring it back up...lol

[tj_eckleberg]

I think I've used just about every one of my wife's toys, and I have to say that the vibrating anal plugs are the best. Any man who has not tried prostatic stimulation during sex hasn't experienced a truly explosive orgasm. I know a lot of guys are wary of anal, especially "VERY STR8" guys, but the prostate IS the male g-spot. The first time I did it right, I thought I would pass out.

I also used one of the vibrating mouth masturbators, but it didn't hold up. It was also too small. Most toys for men on the market tend to be for less well-endowed guys.

[Sybian]

for men, it has to be the fleshlight (www.fleahlight.com) artificial vagina, butt or mouth. guys, this thing feels AS GOOD as the real thing I AM SERIOUS. They cost around $50, and you can get different "holes" and degrees of tightness. I'm too big for real anal sex, but love plunging into that sweet, vanilla-scented, tight pink butt hole. can arrange to give you a demo via ivisit or netmeeting if curious.

[ 06-12-2002, 07:29 PM: Message edited by: Sybian ]

[DAVE---formerly of JEN n DAVE]

Originally posted by michigancouple:
I screwed an orange once when I was a teenager

A friend of mine told me to tell my bedfucker story in response to this, though I must admit, I think an orange is more interesting. Regardless, here's the story....

OK, I admit it. When I was a teenager, and even into adulthood, I masturbated. A LOT. I had very little guidance on the subject, so I ended up teaching myself. My earliest method was quite unorthadox----you'll have to try and picture this: I would take my erect penis, and point it upwards towards my navel. Then, I would wedge my dick between my lower abdomen and palm. With it in place, I would lay down face down, and rock my hand back and forth until the deed was done. Not the typical masturbatory method, but it did work!

Not too long after I started this practice, I saw my first porno. I sat in awe for a while, but then I realized: The way that I got myself off was NOTHING like actual sex. Being the anal-retentive analytical person that I was, I decided to devise a way to simulate the sort of sex that I saw in the porno. So here's what I did:

I would take an empty toilet paper roll and fill the "inside" with a lubricant, usually liquid soap.
I would put the lubed roll over my dick.
I would lift the mattress above the box spring, and line it with something to keep the mess in control.
I would insert my TP-roll-covered dick between the mattress and box spring, then drop the mattress down to create friction.
I would FUCK MY BED.
And it was great! My hands were totally free, so I could flip the pages of my "borrowed" porno mags at will, and let me tell you: Nothing I have ever done in a masturbatory sense even comes close to being as realistic as fucking my bed. When I eventually did get laid by an actual living human female, one of my first thoughts was, "gee, this is just like fucking my bed!"

But that's not the funny part of the story.

The funny part happened a couple of years later. In the county where I went to high school, kids at the end of their Junior year could take what was known as the "NSA test," so named because if you passed the test and the background check, you could intern for NSA during your Senior year. I took the test, and passed with flying colors. They let me know over the summer.

The next step was a polygraph test. I was slightly nervous, but because I wasn't a felon, I wasn't scared witless. They started with some baseline questions... "Is your name...." "Is your addres...." "Is your birthday...." They put me at ease right away.

Then, the serious questions started. The first few were about drugs.

Q. Have you ever smoked marijuana? A. Yes. (cringing)

Q. Have you smoked marijuana in the last six months? A. No. (relieved)

That was pretty much all I had done, so the next few questions were all no. I was happy that the interview continued after my horrible revelation to the testers that I had smoked pot. I later learned from an actual NSA employee that they were not interested in knowing if you smoked pot: They were interested in knowing if you could be blackmailed because you smoked pot. This held true for just about all of the questions.

With the drug questions done, they got a bit more personal.

Q. Have you ever engaged in sexual intercourse? A. (Humiliated, but my answer at the time was...) No.

I found the next few questions to be a bit puzzling after the first answer I gave, but....

Q. Have you ever had a sexual encounter with a member of your own family? A. Ahhh, no!

Q. Have you ever had a sexual encounter with a member of your own gender? A. Heh heh, no.

Q. Have you ever had a sexual encounter with a member of the animal kingdon? A. NO!

It was at this time that I had a fleeting moment of sheer panic: I hope they don't ask me about furniture!!!!!

OK, that's the funny part. They didn't ask, and I did pass the polygraph. However, soon after taking that test, I started hanging out with my stoner friends again, and I lost all interest in working for NSA.

So there you have it: The infamous bedfucker story. I hope your lives are richer for it. ;-)

[sexypairca]

Dave,

I have a feeling that you wasted a lot of toilet paper just to get the roll . Great story.

"A" the wife

[us4sx]

Hey all,

Check out 'any suggestions?' topic above this topics heading. I have listed a great 'toy' for men, complete with instructions!

[Regularguy]

Guys are reluctant to talk about toys because they are typically penetrating toys and anything having to do with a guys rear is considerd faggy....forget that the logic is totally flawed by the fact that it is a women using it on the guy....go figure....

Just like on women, peoples rear ends are highly sensitive. When us guys are hard, you can feel our dicks under our skin going underneath our balls underneath the perineum skin and making a sharp right turn right in front of our rear ends. Stroking the shaft so to speak under the skin all the way to our rears can be interesting....sliding a finger in too as it is like stroking the nerve bundle of the tail end of our dicks.....

I had a girlfriend with tiny hands who was really into ass play on guys......so she used to do that to me while sucking on my dick........

It is ok for a now and then thing, but because there is a huge amount of stimulation from that that is not dick stimulation, it actually crossed my wires whereas a straight dick climax feels stronger......

I have had girlfriends stick vibrators up my rear (I think women must really like guys with absolutely smooth, hair free tight small muscular buns) while I was in their pussy......

I have also had one female friend who straddled me backwards and put a jelly vibrator between her pussy and my dick's underside....that felt and looked hot.....

I do not like the cold thing as that is not what a pussy or mouth feels like.....

[swingsa]

My girlfriend gave me one of the most intense ogasms I have ever had last night by fingering my ass while sucking on my dick ..... WOW !!! I am still feeling the after effects - and thats after a good night's sleep as well .....

I have to agree that most guys do have a warped or one sided perception about penetration being a 'faggy' or gay thing .... but I can tell you - I am certainly going to explore this side of my sexuality in a lot more detail ... the feeling of being penetrated by a woman instead of penetrating is awesome - we have an evening planned tonight to explore some more ... I can't wait !!

One thing I do want to explore are toys that we can use - butt plugs, dildos etc ... any men out there ever been screwed by a woman with a strap-on ? Care to share your experiences ?

[CyberMWC]

Wow! Thanks for keeping this thread going, it only gets more and more interesting every time I cum back to read the additions! And the old ones too... @ John

You guys are great, keep 'em CUMmin'!

CyberWife

[ 07-22-2002, 11:37 AM: Message edited by: CyberMWC ]

[lnk4u]

quote:

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Originally posted by sunswingers:
One thing I do want to explore are toys that we can use - butt plugs, dildos etc ... any men out there ever been screwed by a woman with a strap-on ? Care to share your experiences ?

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