Funny stories from The Emergency Room

floridanudist · 09-16-2002, 10:05 AM

Speaking of sex toys, an old friend of mine back in College, at FSU told me some funny stories about what he saw when he worked in an Emergency Room. A woman comes in and refuses to let a male doctor examine her, or even get near her, and insists on seeing only a woman doctor. She goes "Eh eh!" and waves him away everytime he gets close. It turns out, she was masturbating with a mullet head first, but the scales locked outward and so it got stuck and she couldn't pull it out. A man came into the same Emergency room with a lightbulb stuck up his rectum.

I heard another unrelated funny story from a friend of how at a local nudist club, when they were having their once-a-month "Afternoon delight" a woman with a whip had a man tied down to a picnic table face up, and was enjoying gettin' getting whipped, until he eventually creamed all over the place, although I don't remember what kind of whip she used. [ROFL]

[ September 18, 2002, 07:55 PM: Message edited by: floridanudist ]

MarSue · 09-20-2002, 08:33 PM

When I was in College I worked as an emergency room orderly, nights shift-week ends. One night and women brings her teen age daughter in. Now the woman was really pissed, but the girl was hysterical. It seems that she was masterbating with a 16oz coke bottle, back then they were glass. It was empty and the top was open. As she was moving the bottle in and out a vacuum formed and she was unable to remove it! She started screaming and her mother came in and found her like that. She brought in to us. The doctor hadd to use a bone drill and drill a hole in the bottom of the bottle to release the vacuum. After that the bottle slipped right out. Now it seemed very funny to most of us, then we thought about how embarassed he girl was and what she was in for when she got home. The moral of the story use the proper tool for any job you intend to go!

Brian and Jo · 09-21-2002, 08:17 PM

We have a good friend (not a swinger) who is a doctor. When he was training a guy was brought into the emergency room with an apple stuck up his rectum. His girl friend had put it there because it gave him a charge when they were fucking. No amount of manual effort could budge the apple so the guy was given a general anaesthetic in order that the apple could be removed piece by piece. A nurse was assigned the task of re-assembling the apple so they would know when all of it had been removed. After the operation had been completed and the apple re-assembled, there was a bite missing out of it. The mystery of all time is whether the bite was taken out of the apple before of after it had been put into the guy's rectum. This story is known as the applectomy!

Runningman · 09-28-2002, 12:55 AM

Oh, I hope there's more of these to come! Every once in awhile, one of us falls victim to our own experiments, and the stories always make me grin and think, "Gee, I'm glad that wasn't ME!"

Reminds me of "the ass box" on Scrubs. A veritable lost and found of items removed from people's rectums and the accompanying x-rays.

Nearly laughed my ass off during that episode.

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09-16-2002, 10:05 AM	#1 (permalink)
floridanudist Active Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 42 Location: Seminole, FL, USA	Funny stories from The Emergency Room Speaking of sex toys, an old friend of mine back in College, at FSU told me some funny stories about what he saw when he worked in an Emergency Room. A woman comes in and refuses to let a male doctor examine her, or even get near her, and insists on seeing only a woman doctor. She goes "Eh eh!" and waves him away everytime he gets close. It turns out, she was masturbating with a mullet head first, but the scales locked outward and so it got stuck and she couldn't pull it out. A man came into the same Emergency room with a lightbulb stuck up his rectum. I heard another unrelated funny story from a friend of how at a local nudist club, when they were having their once-a-month "Afternoon delight" a woman with a whip had a man tied down to a picnic table face up, and was enjoying gettin' getting whipped, until he eventually creamed all over the place, although I don't remember what kind of whip she used. [ September 18, 2002, 07:55 PM: Message edited by: floridanudist ]

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09-20-2002, 08:33 PM	#2 (permalink)
MarSue Active Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 11 Location: Denver, CO Status: Couple	When I was in College I worked as an emergency room orderly, nights shift-week ends. One night and women brings her teen age daughter in. Now the woman was really pissed, but the girl was hysterical. It seems that she was masterbating with a 16oz coke bottle, back then they were glass. It was empty and the top was open. As she was moving the bottle in and out a vacuum formed and she was unable to remove it! She started screaming and her mother came in and found her like that. She brought in to us. The doctor hadd to use a bone drill and drill a hole in the bottom of the bottle to release the vacuum. After that the bottle slipped right out. Now it seemed very funny to most of us, then we thought about how embarassed he girl was and what she was in for when she got home. The moral of the story use the proper tool for any job you intend to go!

09-21-2002, 08:17 PM	#3 (permalink)
Brian and Jo Brian and Jo Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 238 Location: Ontario Status: Couple Blog Entries: 3	We have a good friend (not a swinger) who is a doctor. When he was training a guy was brought into the emergency room with an apple stuck up his rectum. His girl friend had put it there because it gave him a charge when they were fucking. No amount of manual effort could budge the apple so the guy was given a general anaesthetic in order that the apple could be removed piece by piece. A nurse was assigned the task of re-assembling the apple so they would know when all of it had been removed. After the operation had been completed and the apple re-assembled, there was a bite missing out of it. The mystery of all time is whether the bite was taken out of the apple before of after it had been put into the guy's rectum. This story is known as the applectomy!

09-28-2002, 12:55 AM	#4 (permalink)
Runningman Active Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 10 Location: MI	Oh, I hope there's more of these to come! Every once in awhile, one of us falls victim to our own experiments, and the stories always make me grin and think, "Gee, I'm glad that wasn't ME!" Reminds me of "the ass box" on Scrubs. A veritable lost and found of items removed from people's rectums and the accompanying x-rays. Nearly laughed my ass off during that episode.