Funny Stories involving sex toys

danc694u · 02-05-2002, 07:15 PM

Really, this should be under "Life Embarrassing Moments". But, a question from Diamond prompted our sharing some of the funny events caused by our kids

#1 Would be the day David's oldest was found sitting on the couch with our nice & shiney "NEW" chrome vibrator clicking between his teeth. He liked the sound it made when it hit his teeth. He's so niave, and still clueless for now.

#2 Our signature "Does that take batteries" is kind of an inside joke with us. It seems no matter how much trouble we go to, to hide our toys, the batteries find their way into a couple of Gameboys at our house. So we think about this (needing batteries) when we buy new toys, ours or theirs.

#3 Would be the day David went to all the trouble to disconnect the battery on the car. Because the fan appeared to keep running after the car was turned off. Needless to say, it wasn't the fan. But, a vibrator in the glove box making all the noise.

These are just a couple of the highspots

[ 02-05-2002: Message edited by: danc694u ]

**TNT** · 02-05-2002, 09:12 PM

LOL...OMG..what have you two been doing, looking through our windows? What you described is basically our life.

One time while moving from one apartment to another, we were having some of Ted's Navy buddies help us...I thought I had packed all the toys up, but one had gotten wedged between the bed and the wall...when the mattress was lifted up there it was...long and pink...my face got twice as pink when Ted picked it up and handed it to me in front of all his buddies.

Our children are never allowed in our bedroom, but one day our son, who was 7 at the time knocked on the door and wanted to come in...we were just being lazy,lying in bed watching a movie and told him to come on in...he came, stood and looked around for a bit and then asked "What's the video camera doing set up and why is that big hook in the center of the ceiling?".

As far as batteries...I should own stock in Duracell...batteries are on every list I make for the store.

Life...you got to love it.

FromFlorida · 02-06-2002, 01:06 AM

Since the subject of batteries popped up here, I thought I would share a bit of information.

The 2 little 'C' or 'AA' batteries, that most toys are set up for, obviously don't last long. I made a battery pack of 4 "D" cells, with an off/on switch, for my wife's favorite toy. This will last many times longer than the stock setup. We have found that the weak point on most vibrators, is the switches. Especially the multi-speed units. I just remove the printed circuit board and hook the battery pack up to the remaining two wires to the motor(s). She doesn't use the low speed anyway.

The batteries have to be connected in a parallel circut to match the voltage of the origional setup. If you aren't familiar with this, get some help from someone that is. Done wrong, you can burn up the motor(s).

I guarantee, this will save many dollars in batteries and has the added benefit of "turbocharging" the vibrator.

It will run stronger, than with the little batteries. One other benefit, you get plenty of warning, when the batteries are going down. You won't be left hanging, at the critical moment, with dead batteries.

If I remember, "D" cell batteries don't fit many kids toys, anymore.

May the buzz be with you!

Mike

Flori_DAMAN · 02-06-2002, 12:30 PM

A few years ago my wife bought me a "pocket vagina". I had forgotten all about it. I ran across it in a box while organizing some stuff one day and thought it was one of those jelly toys that kids play with. I set it aside and shortly afterwards gave it to my 3 year old grandaughter. Luckily my wife was the first person to witness her playing with it and put it in a high dresser drawer. Next time I ran across it I looked closer and noticed lips, eyes and a nose molded into one end of it.

I commented that it wasn't where it was before and she started laughing wildly telling me that our grandaughter must have found it and she took it from her. I laughed too but failed to mention that I actually gave it to her. Please don't tell her LOL.

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02-05-2002, 07:15 PM	#1 (permalink)
danc694u Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 546 Location: Birmingham, AL Status: couple	Funny Stories involving sex toys Really, this should be under "Life Embarrassing Moments". But, a question from Diamond prompted our sharing some of the funny events caused by our kids #1 Would be the day David's oldest was found sitting on the couch with our nice & shiney "NEW" chrome vibrator clicking between his teeth. He liked the sound it made when it hit his teeth. He's so niave, and still clueless for now. #2 Our signature "Does that take batteries" is kind of an inside joke with us. It seems no matter how much trouble we go to, to hide our toys, the batteries find their way into a couple of Gameboys at our house. So we think about this (needing batteries) when we buy new toys, ours or theirs. #3 Would be the day David went to all the trouble to disconnect the battery on the car. Because the fan appeared to keep running after the car was turned off. Needless to say, it wasn't the fan. But, a vibrator in the glove box making all the noise. These are just a couple of the highspots [ 02-05-2002: Message edited by: danc694u ] __________________ Phonies and Fakes Need not apply. We're as real as it gets, and don't have time to be wasting on dumbasses.

02-05-2002, 09:12 PM	#2 (permalink)
TNT Julie's Helper Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 4,194 Location: baker, fl, usa Status: couple SLS Name:tblonde312 Blog Entries: 31	LOL...OMG..what have you two been doing, looking through our windows? What you described is basically our life. One time while moving from one apartment to another, we were having some of Ted's Navy buddies help us...I thought I had packed all the toys up, but one had gotten wedged between the bed and the wall...when the mattress was lifted up there it was...long and pink...my face got twice as pink when Ted picked it up and handed it to me in front of all his buddies. Our children are never allowed in our bedroom, but one day our son, who was 7 at the time knocked on the door and wanted to come in...we were just being lazy,lying in bed watching a movie and told him to come on in...he came, stood and looked around for a bit and then asked "What's the video camera doing set up and why is that big hook in the center of the ceiling?". As far as batteries...I should own stock in Duracell...batteries are on every list I make for the store. Life...you got to love it. __________________ Ted and Teresa No lifetime is enough unless you live it in such a way as to make it enough.

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02-06-2002, 01:06 AM	#3 (permalink)
FromFlorida Active Member Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 44 Location: West Coast Florida Status: Couple	Since the subject of batteries popped up here, I thought I would share a bit of information. The 2 little 'C' or 'AA' batteries, that most toys are set up for, obviously don't last long. I made a battery pack of 4 "D" cells, with an off/on switch, for my wife's favorite toy. This will last many times longer than the stock setup. We have found that the weak point on most vibrators, is the switches. Especially the multi-speed units. I just remove the printed circuit board and hook the battery pack up to the remaining two wires to the motor(s). She doesn't use the low speed anyway. The batteries have to be connected in a parallel circut to match the voltage of the origional setup. If you aren't familiar with this, get some help from someone that is. Done wrong, you can burn up the motor(s). I guarantee, this will save many dollars in batteries and has the added benefit of "turbocharging" the vibrator. It will run stronger, than with the little batteries. One other benefit, you get plenty of warning, when the batteries are going down. You won't be left hanging, at the critical moment, with dead batteries. If I remember, "D" cell batteries don't fit many kids toys, anymore. May the buzz be with you! Mike

02-06-2002, 12:30 PM	#4 (permalink)
Flori_DAMAN Previously of MichiganCouple Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 2,100 Location: Vero Beach Florida Status: Single Male	A few years ago my wife bought me a "pocket vagina". I had forgotten all about it. I ran across it in a box while organizing some stuff one day and thought it was one of those jelly toys that kids play with. I set it aside and shortly afterwards gave it to my 3 year old grandaughter. Luckily my wife was the first person to witness her playing with it and put it in a high dresser drawer. Next time I ran across it I looked closer and noticed lips, eyes and a nose molded into one end of it. I commented that it wasn't where it was before and she started laughing wildly telling me that our grandaughter must have found it and she took it from her. I laughed too but failed to mention that I actually gave it to her. Please don't tell her LOL.