Making Love - would this concern you?

Menage_a_Trois · 03-21-2007, 12:12 AM

I had something happen recently with a play partner and it made me uncomfortable but yet at the same time flattered. We were playing and during the middle of a very passionate, hot session he proceeded to tell me how much he loved making love with me

. While my first thought was to take this as the heat of the moment, mouth running without really thinking or meaning what is being said, he repeated it afterwards while we were catching our breath.

So naturally at first I was flattered by this sign of affection but then the more I pondered it became uncomfortable with it. Has anyone else experienced this or anything like it? If so, how did you feel? And how did your SO take what happened? Maybe I'm just overthinking this......

The Other Mrs. Menage

LikeMinds321 · 03-21-2007, 12:44 AM

No one has said it to me, but I've said it to one or two of my playmates. They were men who I've played with a number of times and feel very comfortable with.

I use the word "love" quite often in many ways unrelated to swinging, so it's a word they hear me use comfortably when conversing before any play begins. Because of how comfortable I am with using it to describe the passion I have for things I think they understand what I am expressing during our swing, that is, I very much enjoy them and what we are sharing at the moment. It is the passion and intensity of sex with them that I love.

I've never sensed it made them uncomfortable, but if I would have, I'd not say it again. If they told me they weren't comfortable with the "love" word I would not feel hurt.

If you are uncomfortable with it then I'd let him know. To you the word may mean more - or something different - than it does to him. I would think he would be understanding and would want you to be comfortable.

Do you feel this man has deeper feelings for you? Why do you think he said what he did? Was this your first time playing with him?

LM

curiousagain · 03-21-2007, 12:58 AM

It could very well have been very meaningless. I've told play partners "I love it when you do that" etc. etc. But, it didn't mean I was in love with them. From your concern, I suspect you feel it was something different though. Communication between play partners is as important as communication between members of a couple. Just talk to him about it.

We all say things in the moment of lust (not passion) that we wouldn't usually say outside of that enviroment.

gatorvol64 · 03-21-2007, 01:14 AM

I haven't had one say those exact words but, I have had a couple of them tell me he loves when I do "______". I just take it to mean he REALLY likes what I was doing that he commented on. So, of course, I make sure that isn't the last time I do that for him.

Vol

ViSexual · 03-21-2007, 03:46 AM

I think there's a real difference between 'loving' someone and being 'in love'.

I've got a couple of male friends that I actually do love but I'd never in a million years fall 'in love' with them.

If you really like someone, can open up with them, even enjoy sexual experiences with them you can't help but love them, can you?

And, in this case, he didn't say he, necessarily, loved you..., he said he loved having sex with you. Big difference, don't you think?

And, you should be flattered. There are people I've enjoyed sex with, some I've really liked sex with, and those few that I absolutely loved sex with.

And, it had nothing to do with how much I loved them.

The Fuse · 03-21-2007, 07:39 AM

Some guys are just trained to say "make love" instead of "have sex" or "fuck" because wives, girlfriends etc. considered it a nice way to refer to sex.

I think it just comes down to what you think he meant. When and if he says it again, you can always discuss it (after catching your breath) if you think it indicates something improper or unwelcome.

havefuninsun · 03-21-2007, 09:06 AM

I think Mrs. Fuse is right ... a lot of people will say "make love" instead of other words because it sounds nicer. Although, I'm kinda partial to "I'm gonna fuck you hard and make you squeal!" -- LOL

sexyshelby · 03-21-2007, 09:25 AM

In and of itself, its probably innocent, and it probably wouldn't have bothered me. Like others said, some people are trained to say make love instead. Personally, I'm with havefuninsun and prefer "fucking", but its all the same.

Actually, now that I think about it more, the comment would definitely take me by surprise. I'm not sure I'd be upset by it, just more caught off guard, I think. But I think that unless there are other signs, its probably just an innocent compliment.

~SS

The Fuse · 03-21-2007, 10:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by havefuninsun

Although, I'm kinda partial to "I'm gonna fuck you hard and make you squeal!" -- LOL

Me, too

.

Menage_a_Trois · 03-21-2007, 10:24 AM

Thank you everyone!

Quote:

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

Do you feel this man has deeper feelings for you? Why do you think he said what he did? Was this your first time playing with him?LM

As for having deeper feelings, no, other than being a favorite playpartner of his I don't really think so. As for why he said that only he can know for sure...........and it was not our first time playing together, lol heavens no.........

I'm obviously going to stop over thinking this and just take it for the positive that it is...........

The Other Mrs. Menage

Menage_a_Trois · 03-21-2007, 10:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by havefuninsun

Although, I'm kinda partial to "I'm gonna fuck you hard and make you squeal!" -- LOL

AMEN!!!!!!!!!!

2TexasTornados · 03-21-2007, 11:11 AM

I agree that the "making love" might just be his terminology. I know that things are said in the heat of the moment that just make the moment that much hotter... and don't mean anything alarming in the light of day. Thoughts sometimes cross my mind about a playmate while we're going at it, that I no longer feel once we're re-dressed and having a cup of tea. One of the many differences about my husband versus play partners. I love my husband with the same intensity at all times, but the others - I just have peaks of enjoyment that settle right back down into reality. I don't get concerned with my husband or I getting too lovey-dovey with a partner, because I think both of us are very touchy feely, emotional people and it makes the raw sex better if there are tender moments tossed in.

Since you said he's a repeat play partner, I'm sure he's just feeling more and more comfortable with you. So like you already decided, no need to overthink, just enjoy.

bill&sabrina · 03-21-2007, 10:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Fuse

Some guys are just trained to say "make love" instead of "have sex" or "fuck" because wives, girlfriends etc. considered it a nice way to refer to sex.

I would say this is why he said he loved making love to you. I would still ask about it though.

Bill

sereneiders · 03-22-2007, 02:13 AM

Ohhhh the forbidden "L" word!

I guess what really cares is the action, more than the word. If soemone "loves" you, or "is in love", he wil act accordingly, and you'd know even if he refuses to ever use the "L" word. In the other hand, someone may use the "L" word lightly and act as if he weren't loving you (which could be this case), and again, you'd know.

I guess everyone of us should use the "L" word the way each one of us sees it fit, and suppose the "L" word is being used by others in the most lighter way... at least they act as if they were actually loving you.

**Alura** · 03-22-2007, 05:56 AM

I wouldn't put too much stock in it, Mrs. Other. "I love making love to you" is very different from "I love you."

I think you're treating the incident the right way. It's not important at all, but indeed a nice compliment!

Mr. Alura

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03-21-2007, 12:12 AM	#1 (permalink)
Menage_a_Trois Sex is emotion in motion! Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 576 Location: Reno, NV Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:Menage_a_Trois	Making Love - would this concern you? I had something happen recently with a play partner and it made me uncomfortable but yet at the same time flattered. We were playing and during the middle of a very passionate, hot session he proceeded to tell me how much he loved making love with me . While my first thought was to take this as the heat of the moment, mouth running without really thinking or meaning what is being said, he repeated it afterwards while we were catching our breath. So naturally at first I was flattered by this sign of affection but then the more I pondered it became uncomfortable with it. Has anyone else experienced this or anything like it? If so, how did you feel? And how did your SO take what happened? Maybe I'm just overthinking this...... The Other Mrs. Menage
	__________________ Pam & Tom aka The Menage's Last edited by Menage_a_Trois; 03-21-2007 at 12:14 AM.

03-21-2007, 12:44 AM	#2 (permalink)
LikeMinds321 I'll think about it Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 10,099 Location: With Wild Things Status: Married Female	Re: Would this concern you or your SO? No one has said it to me, but I've said it to one or two of my playmates. They were men who I've played with a number of times and feel very comfortable with. I use the word "love" quite often in many ways unrelated to swinging, so it's a word they hear me use comfortably when conversing before any play begins. Because of how comfortable I am with using it to describe the passion I have for things I think they understand what I am expressing during our swing, that is, I very much enjoy them and what we are sharing at the moment. It is the passion and intensity of sex with them that I love. I've never sensed it made them uncomfortable, but if I would have, I'd not say it again. If they told me they weren't comfortable with the "love" word I would not feel hurt. If you are uncomfortable with it then I'd let him know. To you the word may mean more - or something different - than it does to him. I would think he would be understanding and would want you to be comfortable. Do you feel this man has deeper feelings for you? Why do you think he said what he did? Was this your first time playing with him? LM

03-21-2007, 12:58 AM	#3 (permalink)
curiousagain A gentleman never tells Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 2,131 Location: Southeastern USA Status: half of a couple	Re: Would this concern you or your SO? It could very well have been very meaningless. I've told play partners "I love it when you do that" etc. etc. But, it didn't mean I was in love with them. From your concern, I suspect you feel it was something different though. Communication between play partners is as important as communication between members of a couple. Just talk to him about it. We all say things in the moment of lust (not passion) that we wouldn't usually say outside of that enviroment.
	__________________ Why is it we can pleasure ourselves but not tickle ourselves?

03-21-2007, 01:14 AM	#4 (permalink)
gatorvol64 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 1,426 Location: Florida Status: Married Couple	Re: Would this concern you or your SO? I haven't had one say those exact words but, I have had a couple of them tell me he loves when I do "______". I just take it to mean he REALLY likes what I was doing that he commented on. So, of course, I make sure that isn't the last time I do that for him. Vol
	__________________ He is the Gator and she is the Vol.

03-21-2007, 03:46 AM	#5 (permalink)
ViSexual Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 519 Location: Florida Status: M. Male Swing Lifestyle Name:Visexual	Re: Would this concern you or your SO? I think there's a real difference between 'loving' someone and being 'in love'. I've got a couple of male friends that I actually do love but I'd never in a million years fall 'in love' with them. If you really like someone, can open up with them, even enjoy sexual experiences with them you can't help but love them, can you? And, in this case, he didn't say he, necessarily, loved you..., he said he loved having sex with you. Big difference, don't you think? And, you should be flattered. There are people I've enjoyed sex with, some I've really liked sex with, and those few that I absolutely loved sex with. And, it had nothing to do with how much I loved them.

03-21-2007, 07:39 AM	#6 (permalink)
The Fuse Way too opinionated Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 1,826 Location: Southeastern Virginia Status: Single Female Swing Lifestyle Name:The_Fuse	Re: Would this concern you or your SO? Some guys are just trained to say "make love" instead of "have sex" or "fuck" because wives, girlfriends etc. considered it a nice way to refer to sex. I think it just comes down to what you think he meant. When and if he says it again, you can always discuss it (after catching your breath) if you think it indicates something improper or unwelcome.
	__________________ Through every dead and living thing, Time runs, like a fuse. -- Jackson Browne

03-21-2007, 09:06 AM	#7 (permalink)
havefuninsun insert witty banter here Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 1,190 Location: Virginia Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:havefuninsun	Re: Would this concern you or your SO? I think Mrs. Fuse is right ... a lot of people will say "make love" instead of other words because it sounds nicer. Although, I'm kinda partial to "I'm gonna fuck you hard and make you squeal!" -- LOL

03-21-2007, 09:25 AM	#8 (permalink)
sexyshelby It's not easy being easy. Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 2,012 Location: In Bed Status: Person	Re: Would this concern you or your SO? In and of itself, its probably innocent, and it probably wouldn't have bothered me. Like others said, some people are trained to say make love instead. Personally, I'm with havefuninsun and prefer "fucking", but its all the same. Actually, now that I think about it more, the comment would definitely take me by surprise. I'm not sure I'd be upset by it, just more caught off guard, I think. But I think that unless there are other signs, its probably just an innocent compliment. ~SS
	__________________ What's love got to do with it?

03-21-2007, 11:11 AM	#12 (permalink)
2TexasTornados Here to Stay Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 67 Location: Texas Status: Couple	Re: Would this concern you or your SO? I agree that the "making love" might just be his terminology. I know that things are said in the heat of the moment that just make the moment that much hotter... and don't mean anything alarming in the light of day. Thoughts sometimes cross my mind about a playmate while we're going at it, that I no longer feel once we're re-dressed and having a cup of tea. One of the many differences about my husband versus play partners. I love my husband with the same intensity at all times, but the others - I just have peaks of enjoyment that settle right back down into reality. I don't get concerned with my husband or I getting too lovey-dovey with a partner, because I think both of us are very touchy feely, emotional people and it makes the raw sex better if there are tender moments tossed in. Since you said he's a repeat play partner, I'm sure he's just feeling more and more comfortable with you. So like you already decided, no need to overthink, just enjoy.

03-22-2007, 02:13 AM	#14 (permalink)
sereneiders Some sort of user Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 1,131 Location: Argentina Status: Couple	Re: Would this concern you or your SO? Ohhhh the forbidden "L" word! I guess what really cares is the action, more than the word. If soemone "loves" you, or "is in love", he wil act accordingly, and you'd know even if he refuses to ever use the "L" word. In the other hand, someone may use the "L" word lightly and act as if he weren't loving you (which could be this case), and again, you'd know. I guess everyone of us should use the "L" word the way each one of us sees it fit, and suppose the "L" word is being used by others in the most lighter way... at least they act as if they were actually loving you.

03-22-2007, 05:56 AM	#15 (permalink)
Alura Just a hick Okie Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 8,133 Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma Status: Widower	Re: Would this concern you or your SO? I wouldn't put too much stock in it, Mrs. Other. "I love making love to you" is very different from "I love you." I think you're treating the incident the right way. It's not important at all, but indeed a nice compliment! Mr. Alura
	__________________ "They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it." —Will Rogers

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