Do you "make love passionately" when you swing?

[flassh]

Is full swap and passionate love making from the other man a problem for anyone else? For example, We received this email that has a nice letter asking us if we are interested in going out for a possible swinging date. The male half states "he wants to make love passionately."

Now, I only want the deep, passionate love from Mr. Flassh.

Primal, ecstatic sex is ok to me but how do others deal with this aspect of their swinging partners and keeping intimacy with spouse when the full swap partner crosses over the passion boundary?

[good times]

It is no problem for us because the passion we feel for each other is in our heart and has nothing to do with sex. So the only boundry we have is that we won't become emotionally involved with someone else. In other words, if someone starts expressing emotional feelings for one of us they have reached our boundry, anything up to that is fine with us.

[twobears]

we are newbies and would like to read more responce from the swinger's that have been in the lifestyle for sometime please. What does one mean , everything is ok until the other swinger partner or you or mate feel emotional feeling? Please give example if you have every experienced this problem by yourself and mate or your swinging partner.

[NakedInSeattle]

I feel the guy who said "passionately" just meant "with feeling" not just a slam-bam-thank-you-maam kinda fuck. You know - plenty of interaction, heavy breathing, maybe a little sweat. Talk to him/them. Check it out and talk first. It always pays to do this.

Good luck.

[graygo98]

Originally Posted by good times

... the passion we feel for each other is in our heart and has nothing to do with sex. ... if someone starts expressing emotional feelings for one of us they have reached our boundry, anything up to that is fine with us.

Very well put... can't add a thing.

[BradAndJanet]

Originally Posted by NakedInSeattle

I feel the guy who said "passionately" just meant "with feeling" not just a slam-bam-thank-you-maam kinda fuck. You know - plenty of interaction, heavy breathing, maybe a little sweat. Talk to him/them. Check it out and talk first. It always pays to do this.

Good luck.

I think you could be right and it's always good advice to ask about anything you're concerned about. That could have a lot of meanings. When I'm with a woman, I sure am passionate about what I'm doing, if you know what I mean.

-B

[intuition897]

Originally Posted by flassh

Is full swap and passionate love making from the other man a problem for anyone else? For example, We received this email that has a nice letter asking us if we are interested in going out for a possible swinging date. The male half states "he wants to make love passionately."

Now, I only want the deep, passionate love from Mr. Flassh.

Primal, ecstatic sex is ok to me but how do others deal with this aspect of their swinging partners and keeping intimacy with spouse when the full swap partner crosses over the passion boundary?

Haven't read any other responses yet, but I'll toss my opinion out there.

We have been able to find success at swinging because we have successfully separated love and sex. THIS is the one thing we leave for our own partner. It is not something that anyone can take away; it can only be given away. That said, we have no concerns about becoming emotionally attached to someone just because they are becoming attached to us. However, we'd be wary of couples/people who are expressing an interest in 'making love', passionately or otherwise. Why? Because it's a red flag that tells us that maybe their relationship isn't as stable as it should be. Why aren't they reserving that for their own partner? Don't they like each other? Are they trying to replace one another? This may not be the case, and they may be truly polyamorous and looking to add to their relationship network. This is not something we are interested in personally, so even if they were consciously looking to do this, we would not be able to fulfill that need for them. So what would be the point? Just looks like a lot of hurt feelings on the horizon to me.

[intuition897]

And now after reading other responses...

NakedInSeattle is right. I think I was assuming the worst. We're certainly not cold when we're with others sexually or otherwise. We are genuinely concerned for their feelings and wellbeing, like any friend would be. And we appreciate each person's uniqueness. But as GoodTimes expressed, when someone else is approaching an emotional boundary, you can really feel it. It just feels wrong. Like when a cloud goes over the sun. It's still daylight, but it just feels a little colder and grayer. You know that this other person has just done or said something that would be offensive to either your partner or his/hers.

[flassh]

Thanks for the feedback on this and I suspect that the wording on their part was intended to be included for the sake of emphasizing they are adults with mature viewpoints and not selfish types that only want a quicky or selfish gratification from another warm body. But I still wonder how much of this guy is tied into the emotions of sex outside of his marriage and if it would be a mistake to get involved with them any further.

[northindycpl]

Did the message come from a single man?

I wonder if he said it because he thought that is what you wanted to hear? It seems to me that single men who email, really try to be romantic and 'passionate' in their repsonse to me, because they think women have a romantic view on sex.

I have pointed it out to a few and have come to find my opinion is right. They say, they do, they write, what they think I want to hear.

if you feel comfortable in telling this guy that isn't what you have in mind, but explain to him what you do have in mind, you will know one way or the other.

[WesternSwing]

Mrs. WS and I feel the same way you do flassh. We like passionate sex with each other, we want down and dirty sex when swinging. One time when we were swinging the other woman looked at me with absolute passion in her eyes while we were doing it and it kind of freaked me out a little. Like it was getting a little two close. However we know the couple really well, and outside the bedroom she doesn't look at me like that at all, so it really was just the passion of the moment.

I guess is what I'm getting at is: you need to get to know what he means by "make love passionately". To him it may be a completely different thing than what you feel it is. I'd discuss it further with them.

Mr. WS