Hosts cancelled party because guests were intimidated by wealth

[Brit_Pair]

Dito Mrs O

[Spoomonkey]

Dito to Ohio from Ohio... You took the words out of my mouth and the thoughts out of my head...

Spoomonkey

[good times]

Dito to what Mrs. O said, no more appropriate words could be provided by me.

[Mich149]

Not to be jumping on the band wagon, but Dito all over the ever loving place. If you were soooooo smart... never mind, not worth the effort.

[OhioCouple]

Originally Posted by SnSnLex

After a bit of chatting we just figured that people felt intimidated or outclassed, or I'm sure someone here might have a better word to describe it.

I think you have described this as best as I could put it, and I totally understand where you are coming from. I am intimidated by many things, not just monetary. There are many people on this board who can attest to that fact. For instance...

A few years ago, I decided that I needed to know more about politics, our government and history. I had been wearing blinders until certain things starting affecting me. (what a shame) I was totally frightened to begin asking questions for guidance to learn more as I knew I would be the laughing stock. And, for some I was. I took some heat, but also there were people willing to be patient with me. While, I'll never be in their 'class' (so-to-speak) I no longer feel 'out classed' as they have shown me time and again, that my opinions are just as important. Their tolerance of my lack of knowledge opened doors for me.

Another instance are those that can punctuate with ease!! I've even brought this topic up on the board here a couple of times. Or they are betters spellers or know bigger words than I do and how to use them properly. All of these things intimidate me, however, once again their tolerance and willing to assist when asked, have helped me to lose that feeling of being 'out classed'. Plus that fact that most of them can't spell ya'll correctly. And some that would have never dreamed of saying it....have begun to let it slip after repeated contact with me.

The moral of this is? It goes back to the impression that these folks gave you. If they gave you the impression that they are warm and friendly people and enjoy being with others who share the same interests, chances are they are very sincere, regardless of if they may have a little more monetarily than you do. Take the chance and go for it. You may be pleasantly surprised. If they turn out to be duds, remember the door swings both ways and you can always make an early exit.

[LIZA]

Well, I think the fact that they HADN'T mentioned their incredible house before shows class and restraint. I know if I had a 14 bedroom house it would be hard for me not to tell everyone!

I doubt too many couples cancelled because of the house size.............I mean, why? You are going to a party why wouldn't you want to go to one in an awesome place instead of a shanty?

People cancel often and swingers can be flaky too, so maybe it was just coincedence. If they have another, go and get a look at that place!

[HotCoupleGnS]

You should never judge a book by its cover! We have met some people that look & act as if they were the richest people in the world, but were swimming in debt. And that goes the other way too. Hubby's family has lots of money. Their family is a HUGE name in our city. His dad has tons of money! (I only know this b/c once when we went to the bank the pulled up the wrong account, b/c they have the same names. My eyes about popped out of my head!) But he alwasy says he is broke, that "I don't even have enough money to by cigarettes & I don't even smoke!"

So, who cares that they have a huge house! I would love to see a house that big up close & on person. Its just an added bonus that you are gonna get to play in it!

[Yummi]

My job is cleaning houses, mostly for well-off or rich people. I have become friends with some of them and get along with all of them. Now I'm not saying I've never met any snobs in my line of work...but hardly any. Everyone I work for treats me with respect and I'm pretty sure that they respect the fact that I started my own business and I'm working. Class is definitely on the inside, not what you have on the outside. I'm glad everyone here seems to understand that!

[jsnps]

Originally Posted by fun_pairTX

CLASS IS AS CLASS DOES.......................

Their dress doesn't belie their demeanor as they usually wear clothes that they purchased from LL Bean ten or 20 years ago, that stuff never wears out or goes out of style. My dad knows a fellow back there that paid for a hospital wing and still sits around the locals coffee shop in boat shoes that are held together with duck tape. It takes all kinds. Don't ever be fooled by the wrapper people come in.

Amen. My step-mother's father is one of those boat shoes and duck tape kind of guys. A man worth multi-millions that made his money by starting his own business and being savy. He drove a car with the driver side floor completely rusted out for years. You could see the pavement through the floor in spots. The family finally talked him into buying a new one. He paid cash for almost everything and his clothes and lifestyle would never indicate he was well off... You can't be fooled by the wrapper...

[jsnps]

Originally Posted by Girlfit

"We'd have no problem playing with folks who were dirt poor, but we'd be quite wary about those on the other end of the spectrum."

I am on the other spectrum of that perspective, left coast couple. I am NOT saying that I would judge someone SOLELY because of income. If their personalities clicked and they were attractive, sure.

HOWEVER, and I am speaking based on demographics and slight generalizations here, it is the very nature of the beast that I DOUBT I would even be attracted to (physically or personality-wise) someone who was "dirt poor" or in a significantly lower income than me and my spouse. We aren't rolling in it, I would say we are upper middle class. Someone who is "dirt poor" is LIKELY (and I AM generalizing here) to be someone who is not very educated, not very cultured, doesn't have money to take care of themselves the way they should, etc etc. We just wouldn't have anything in common with people like that and its likely our personalities wouldn't jive either. We'd be wanting to talk about literature and art and they'd be wanting to talk about NASCAR. We'd be wanting to go to dinner at a 4 star restaurant and they'd want to go out to dinner at Denny's. We live in a modest suburban home appraised in the upper 100's and they live in a trailer. I'm taking this analogy to extremes here, but I think you get my point.

We'd actually feel more comfortable playing with someone well off. They'd likely to be more educated, we would have more to talk about with them, more things in common, etc. as opposed to someone poor.

Now unless you're talking about the "exception to the rules" like Joe Millionaire or those hot hunky, but economically struggling model-types...

First off, Amen to Elusive Bi Fem who said it eloquently>>>
While I can appreciate your opinion, I personally believe you may want to reassess what you are using to place value on people. There are many delightful and lower income individuals and many wealthy boors.

Secondly, my own opinion >>> I lived the first part of my life in a trailer and the school years in middle class / upper middle class families. My parents divorced and remarried at an early age and I was exposed to different lifestyles. As a 26 year old who lives at a level equal to that of most twice her age - I have no issues with the rich, nor do I shun those who share my humble upbringing. I have a Master's degree but realise that the world is full of educated idiots and derelicts. A piece of paper signifies less to me than a broad display of intellect. Appreciation of the "finer" things in life is fine. I love art - especially impression and post impressionist works. I love the cubist movement and latin / cajun influences in modern art. I love mexican muralists and photography. However, I feel just as comfortable in the little cabin on the top of a mountain in Arkansas where my 90 some year old great-grandparents live. I love it when they get out the guitars and the banjos and start playing bluegrass. I think the true measure of a person is how well they can adapt to whatever situation they might be in. I can hang with the best of them in whatever demographic they might happen to be in. My life is richer for having been a chamaeleon of sorts and I wouldn't change a bit of it. It makes me who I am...

[devonsgirl]

If my guy and I knew that ahead of time I think we would be evn more excited. Can you imagine the potential? How many different places to play in a house that big! Sounds like great fun to me