swinging with a large body scar?

[BiloxiCouple]

I think your main question was "do I tell people before hand?" I would say that if I was told up front it would not discurage me at all from getting together. If I wasn't told up front, or nothing was said when we met, then I think it would be uncomfortable just with not knowing how you feel about it or what to say ect....

Some good advice.

[Mephisto]

This might seem a little weird -- Oh well -

A while ago, while searching through google image search, I came across some pictures of a woman. The picture looked like she had been split from just under her arm pit, down below her rib cage and across to her naval (SP). The scar was indented and very noticable. She wasn't a "perfect" 10 by any means, but my what a sexy woman she was, Scar and all -

Her smile and seeming confidence made all the difference.

I hope this helps.

[fastsporty]

Originally Posted by cowboynlady

Fastporty,

I think your main question was "do I tell people before hand?" I would say that if I was told up front it would not discurage me at all from getting together. If I wasn't told up front, or nothing was said when we met, then I think it would be uncomfortable just with not knowing how you feel about it or what to say ect....

I think be open about it and things will go just fine. If your not, you might come across some insensative jerks that might end up hurting your feelings in the long run.

It wouldnt hurt my feelings but I can see my loving wife comming unglued and ripping them a new one.. Just wouldnt be good for a meeting of this type. So yes I'll try and say that up front without also scaring off people as it may seem like I'm totally mutuated or something. :rollseyes I've had heart bi-pass surgery so that's there and the three below that and then the removeal of the vein along the leg left 3 more scars..

[ohcpl43952]

As a wee lad, I was in a fire. My legs are scarred up pretty well. But no one actually notices it in the heat of the moment.

[Spoomonkey]

I have a scar that I am completely paranoid about... It is above my neck - so I can't hide it and I feel like it is always "on display". In fact, it was that one body flaw alone that almost made me decide against swinging.

But, the more social I became, the more obvious it was that the scar was not just "on my head" but mostly "in my head". No one noticed it - and if they did it was often long after we'd become friends... In fact, I've met quite a few folks from this board and I'd bet you a donut (and I don't do that lightly) that no one could tell you where it is...

The bottom line is - we all obsess about what we consider our "imperfections". But it is often those very imperfections that make us interesting and to one person, at least, "perfect".

I am absolutely awful about my self-esteem. I am convinced that I am the least attractive primate alive... But, then I realize some of the incredible women I have been with (not to mention my "10" - "arm candy" - "Runway gorgeous" Mrs Spoo, who liked me enough to "buy the company") and I have to think - maybe I'm not so bad.

No one can alleviate your nervousness - but once you realize how much attention you get, you might just realize that it is more "in your head" as well

Good luck!

Spoomonkey

[kingdruman]

yall folk are good folk

we can all be gorgeous together....

our truest beauty as humans is shown in our
differences in appearance

it seems we on this board are not interested in hollywood templates

perhaps, we should wear our scars as badges of honor and courage.

and take pity on the folk who cannot discern our beauty!

linda

[fifty4x2]

Consider it body art like tattoos. It's you, people have to take you for all you are.

[kingdruman]

spirtitual aint we

let thewm who ain't gottin it

be some day ready

blessed b life

fer she always gifts a chance to do all we can be

judge not

fer we all been there

fer sure

walk as if you mean it

fer in my experience this earth durely gonna force ya to ken all you do

therefore

shall we dance

[J & K]

My wife had a full tummy tuck and the line goes hip to hip corners and damn....it is so sexy. We all have a cut in our lifetime and some are bigger than others. It is only skin and scars can be sexy. If somebody is turned off by a scar then more than likely they have personal issues they can't cope with.

[BorisNatasha]

If you got this far in life without any scars... then you are either a clone, an alien, or have been in a box since you were born... in which case your company is not going to be all that interesting.

Don't worry about it... we all have them and I don't think anyone is going to be bothered by it.

Boris

[WesternSwing]

If it is that bad then you may want to bring it up in casual conversation. You know, that "one time at band camp" story of how you got it... Makes for good conversation and breaks the ice on it.

We, and most everybody we know, look past stuff like that though. We like to think we are having sex with the whole person, not just one part, so stuff like scars are not a big deal.

Mr. WS

[dragonblade]

I know that myself personally I have a scar on my right forearm that runs almost wrist to elbow ( I had a fracture with major nerve damage that needed repairation as a child) and when I was a kid, cause it was still dark then, all the kids would make fun of it. As I've grown older and been around more mature people, 99% don't even notice unless I hold my arm a certain way or say something about it, even then they're more intrigued by the story behind it then the scar itself. I worry more about my stretch marks than the actual scar on my arm So I wouldn't worry about it, especially the heart surgery one, it just shows everyone how lucky your wife is that you're still around

Take care

~Blade~

[kirscovitch]

this is a really good thread. my girlfriend and i are meeting a couple for the first time this weekend. she is nervous because she has a large birthmark on one side of her face. the other couple has already seen our pictures and they contacted us first. so i try to comfort her with that. but she has some bigger body scars that she is nervous about too. one from a c-section and one on each breast from reduction surgery. im gonna show her this thread later on.
good advice in here and ill put it to good use....

[semntj]

Mr SEMNTJ here:
I just wanted to throw in another vote that scars and stretch marks is a non issue for us too. It seems to me that sexy comes from within. And it seems in life that the greatest accomplishments and sacrifices often leave their marks behind, bringing a child to the world, overcoming an accident or health or weight problem, cosmetic surgery, whatever it may be. I think it just adds to the total package and makes the person even more sexy!

[Mr. Better Half]

Originally Posted by fastsporty

So yes I'll try and say that up front without also scaring off people as it may seem like I'm totally mutuated or something.

I can't imagine that you would scare people off. The people that would be scared off by that are the ones that you want to scare off anyway.

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

I am absolutely awful about my self-esteem. I am convinced that I am the least attractive primate alive...

Spoomonkey, I just can't imagine you being awful about self-esteem. You have such a presence here in the forums; the wife and I love reading your posts. It gives me hope, since I don't see any redeeming qualities in myself, either.