Mild Body Image Issues

[S&E]

Don't worry about it

Appearance is only skin deep, and there are those few very shallow individuals that only want to get together with "10's". The more time you spend on this site, the more topics, advice, threads & responses you read, the questions that are asked and the depth of the answers, the more you will realize the intelligence of the members of this community and this site specifically.

Think back to your single days or even married & swinging :rollseyes Have you ever been with that perfect 10, that person that gives off all of the looks , sex appeal, someone you know that "has got to be incredible in bed" and been totally disappointed then the flip side, you meet up this the really nice person, appears conservative, average looks, the person you may not give a second look to in passing or in a crowd, the person you don't even think that you would share intimate moments with, the person's appeance is totally deceptive, then that person totally rocks your world when you are with them in the most intimate of ways . This lifestyle is just like the everything else, you will find some very shallow people, but I think the majority of the people that you will meet are great, the people that you want to be friends with share fun times with.

We are not experts or 25 year veterans of the lifestyle, but so far this has proved to be accurate, this is an outstanding site, the more you read on here, the more you interact with others on here, the more your realize, that the majority of the others out here are very similar to you.

I read more than I respond or posts messages, not that I don't want to, but usually the the intelligent membership of this site has already addressed the issue or question in much the same way that we would and I would be just adding a Dito , which sometimes I do, to further support the other respondents and back up there suggestion or comments.

Don't worry you will find many new great friends, think about my comments and most of all enjoy yourself

XOXOXOXO

S & E
Newtown, PA

[The Fuse]

Wow, S&E, thanks.

I definitely agree about the intelligence level and the great attitude on this site. In fact, reading the posts is one of the biggest reasons I feel comfortable with the idea of swinging (we haven't gone to a club yet, but we will within a few weeks or a month). I have been very impressed, and that takes a lot. I was a little afraid that there would be a larger proportion of dirtbags, class-less people, and people in the lifestyle for the wrong reasons. But the people who post here have blown that fear away. There are even a few people who can spell and write in complete sentences. More importantly, the sentiments expressed show a lot of thought, reason and warmth, with only the occasional baddie intruding or trolling. I believe that when we do visit a club, we'll find most of the people to be similar. I can only do what I can do about my body, and I'm using the prospect of swinging to motivate myself to reach my potential in that area. There's a great thread in the Lounge-->Cafe called "Fitness Buddies" that I've joined where everyone's motivating each other and reporting in on themselves. If I keep up my workouts and better eating habits, I'll just try not to worry about it.

I may not check in on this thread much anymore since I'm more interested in the Fitness Buddies thread, but I will 'see' you in various places on this board!

[WesternSwing]

Originally Posted by The Fuse

As the post title indicates, I have a wee problem with body image. I am 5'6" and weigh a little over 160 pounds. I will turn 40 this year, so am not a youngster either. At a size 14, I am afraid that I will not be attractive to the male or female halves of couples that we'd want to be with. (My husband has a good physique.) We don't aspire to the model-gorgeous playmates, but I'm afraid I'll be relegated to the "uglies only" corner, and feeling repulsive like I did in junior high school. Does anyone have experiences to relate that would help me know what to expect?

Welcome to the board, The Fuse. Mrs. WS is a 14-16 and never is in want of a playmate. She is very popular. Most of the people you'll find in swinging are just normal everyday folk, not pornstars or anything like that. And what's the average clothing size for women now? 12 or something like that... You'll find half the people you meet larger then a 12 and half smaller.

From personal experience I can tell you that most of the men attracted to Mrs. WS have wife's smaller then her. I think it is because she is different. They want to be with someone with a little more curves because they don't have that everyday. Basically, variety.

So don't worry, you being a size 14 is not going to hurt you any.

Mr. WS

[mitzi54]

I am a man that loves curvy women. 14-16 sounds yummy to me......

Purrrrrrrrrrrrr (oops did I say that?)

Ok, seriously, Mrs. Mitzi is a 14-16 also and never has had a problem at a club.

The sexy beast that she is. (of course I'm biased)

Mr. Mitzi

[BradAndJanet]

(done as a cheer)

14...16...18...20!
Smile a lot and you'll get plenty!



-B

[just1gurl]

Originally Posted by BradAndJanet

(done as a cheer)

14...16...18...20!
Smile a lot and you'll get plenty!



-B

I love your cheer. The body image thing is probably the thing holding things up. I know its all in attitude, its just easier to have attitude in a good fittin pair of jeans than when theres nothing to hide behind!!! Still, love the cheer! Thanks!

[Deptydog]

I don't know where in SE Virginia you are, but my wife and I just moved away from there. If you would like to contact me privately, we can give you the lowdown on several of the clubs in your area.

[sereneiders]

Originally Posted by davidnjoy

First let me say that I already like you. You will find that the quality people in this lifestyle are actually somewhat more interested in personality than they are in straight out physical appearance. I am not saying that physical attraction is not an important component but, as I've experienced, you gotta stimulate the largest sex organ, my brain. The best experiences I have had have been with people who I have gotten to know first. We tend to get to know people a little before playing (but not always). I, somewhat more than my partner, do best if I can establish a little bit of a connection with my play partners prior to playing. I too have body image concerns from the male perspective. I am athletic but with a large belly. In the beginning I had difficulty with this. Thinking that others would not be attracted to me. What a misconception this turned out to be. What my partner finds sexy and attractive in me others found as well...go figure. Sometimes our fear can make us very shortsighted. You are not relegated to the "ugly corner". You will find that "geeks"(my word) are not only welcome but treasured.

D

I agree 100%

[The Fuse]

BradAndJanet -- Excellent cheer!

Sereneiders and DavidNJoy -- Hooray for geeks!

DeptyDog -- Thanks for the offer. I'll PM you a little later today.

[Pinmonkey]

If that is a picture of you in your profile, I would say you have nothing to worry about.

Either way, Not everyone can be a supermodel. There's a reason those type of people get paid so much. There's a big demand for them, and a short supply. Be comfortable with how you are, size, shape, scars, streatchmarks, baldness, whathaveyou. It's all apart of who you are, and really, that's all that matters to most.

[wolfnblu]

I'm 5'4" and weigh 165. Sexy is an attitude, not a body shape.

[The Fuse]

Originally Posted by Pinmonkey

If that is a picture of you in your profile, I would say you have nothing to worry about.

Either way, Not everyone can be a supermodel. There's a reason those type of people get paid so much. There's a big demand for them, and a short supply. Be comfortable with how you are, size, shape, scars, streatchmarks, baldness, whathaveyou. It's all apart of who you are, and really, that's all that matters to most.

Yes, that is me-- from the most flattering angle possible of course, but with no special effects or Photoshop work other than cropping the image borders and adjusting the contrast. I posted the pictures after this thread had been active for a bit.

Thanks for the compliments . Everyone is right about relaxing. We are looking for people we like, and not expecting others to be supermodels, so it's fair to think a lot of others have the same attitude.

[The Fuse]

Originally Posted by wolfnblu

I'm 5'4" and weigh 165. Sexy is an attitude, not a body shape.

You're not kidding... you look great in your pictures. I'm no more than bi-curious, but WOW!

[wolfnblu]

Originally Posted by The Fuse

You're not kidding... you look great in your pictures. I'm no more than bi-curious, but WOW!

Awww, thanks babe! And since I now know that that is you in your pics....I can't understand how you could possibly think your body is unattractive!

[cur_cpl_n_chey]

hi there, We all understand the need to want to be visually appealing. I too am trying to loose weight and trim up after 3 kiddo's. I am 4 ft 8 and 133 lbs currently. A far cry from the 98 lbs I am supposed to be. What I am noticing though( we do not frequent clubs since the nearest one is like 100 mi away) that with the women atleast in the groups I belong to here in WY they are almost all a bit overweight. It really surprised me at the first event we went to. I was expecting a bunch of women that were model thin and that wasn't the case at all.

Denise