Do you dress to impress?

[bear_n_bunny]

When Bear and I go to meet a new couple, we do try to put our best face forward as you only get one chance to make a first impression. While I don't pile on the party paint, or club ware. I do try to dress as if I was going on a date, probably pants and some low cut top. Heck, I even shower and do my hair, brush my teeth and all that. Who knows, if things work out you might find yourself sans clothing.

On more than one occasion, on these first meets, the female half has been dressed like she was making a quick run to the grocery store; no make-up, baggy t-shirt, hair pulled back with bobby pins, sweats. I'm never sure what to make of it. Is it a passive aggressive way of the wife saying I'm not interested?

In one instance, that was just her style. She wears the baggy t-shirt to house parties and clubs alike. She is very shy on first meetings. She hasn’t lost the weight she gained during her pregnancy. If we hadn't clicked with the male half, we would have blown the couple off. That would have been a sad thing as they are now good friends. They just don't "dress up".

Other than that once instance, I usually get the feeling that the wife doesn't want to be there. Because of the one good experience, I try not read too much into it. However, other subsequent encounters with dressed down females, are making think this is a big clue she doesn't want to be there.

Have any of you encountered anything similar? Do you dress to impress when meeting potential playmates? Does what the other couple wear factor into your first impression of them?

-- The always-curious Bunny

[Alura]

It may surprise some people, Bunny, but I actually own a suit. I wore it to my nephew's funeral almost twenty years ago. I do have a western tweed jacket; you know... the kind with suede elbow patches? I've probably worn it on chilly nights a few times in the same time period.

Mrs. Alura uses little make-up but always looks great. She dresses more "business" than "sex-kitten."

I think you've zeroed in on a clue that a wife may be being dragged, kicking and screaming, into the lifestyle. I think it would serve us all well to look for that and other clues. If she really doesn't want to be there, the hints will be.

This is a good topic. Thanks for bringing it up.

Mr. Alura

[TNT]

Originally Posted by bear_n_bunny

Do you dress to impress when meeting potential playmates? Does what the other couple wear factor into your first impression of them?

My momma always taught me while growing up that you should always look decent whenever you leave the house for anything...you never know who you might meet. It's a rule I live by to this day. I never go anywhere that I don't have make-up on, decent clothes and my hair half way decent.

When meeting potential playmates for the first time, we both always dress as if we are going out on a date, which we are. I usually will wear a nice, cute little dress and Ted will usually wear nice jeans and a button up shirt. First impressions are very important as like Bunny said, you only get one time to make them.

So far everyone that we have ever met has always dressed very nice.

You bring up an excellent point when you said....

On more than one occasion, on these first meets, the female half has been dressed like she was making a quick run to the grocery store; no make-up, baggy , hair pulled back with bobby pins, sweats. I'm never sure what to make of it. Is it a passive aggressive way of the wife saying I'm not interested?

I too would think that when someone didn't dress nice for a meet that they were probably not that into playing, especially the female half as I don't know of any woman who is not conscious of her looks, especially when she's meeting someone that she might be having sex with.


Teresa

[good times]

We see that at the club all the time and I don't get it. It never ceases to amaze me what some people will wear out. It is especially perplexing to me given the fact that they are going to try and meet people with the expectation that the people will find them attractive enough to have sex with them.

We allways dress up, even if we are just going over to friends to have dinner. I would do it if for no other reason than it improves my self confidence if I am dressed up a little bit.

As far as sweats go, they are the anti-viagra in my opinion, I've noticed that their are very few women that don't look repulsive in them. Sweats are outlawed at our house, ick!

[intuition897]

I'd have to say that we'd be a little put off that someone didn't take the time to make themselves presentable. We certainly do. I agree that you only get one chance to make a first impression, and we dress appropriately. Last time we went to meet a new couple, I wore a nice business suit with a low cut tank shirt underneath (if you've got the cleavage, you might as well work it ) and Mr. went dressy-casual in khakis and a well-fitted dress shirt. Unbuttoned at the neck & no tie, of course because we like to skip the formalities and appear approachable (which we are).

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by good times

As far as sweats go, they are the anti-viagra in my opinion, I've noticed that their are very few women that don't look repulsive in them. Sweats are outlawed at our house, ick!

Sweats on women have always been a pet peeve. I hate them! I've seen good-looking women turned into slobs when they dawn sweats.

Since jeans with stretch were invented, I see no reason why a woman couldn't feel just as comfortable in them and look sexy at the same time.

Dressing up to look nice should always be a priority if you are trying to catch someone's eye.

LM

[Alura]

I like the way y'all dress, and I feel much better that I won't have to pull that suit out of the back corner of my closet.

Casual but clean; neat but not fastidious. That's my way of looking at it.

But I think maybe that wasn't Bunny's real question. I had the impression that she was suggesting one might infer a lack of real interest in swinging on the part of a woman who looked sloppy at a first meeting.

I think she may be onto something.

Mr. Alura

[EmpyreanPleasur]

First..I alwasy dress up when we go out. No matter what we're doing or with whom, it's a matter of decidiing whether I should dress really risque or play it down some (well, as much as I can as I prefer to dress sexy) or is this some rare occasion where I have to really dress conservative (like a funeral!)

Even when we go out to meet a woman or couple, we will give great consideration to what we already know about them from our contact with them so far, and whether we should dress sexy or pull out all the stops and really be daring!

Clubs...I dress for myself and for my husband. That usually means as wild and erotic as I can!

BTW...even my casual wear is denim skirts or sundresses all summer. About the only time I'm in pants is casual days when it's too cold out. I prefer skirts even at home when it's warm.

[BiDrywallChick]

for me.. its going to depend on where we are meeting at.. I can be caught off guard in sweats if someone was to show up on housecleaning day here or on a cold windy day... day meetings over lunch or the like will more often than not be me in jeans and a blouse... dinner meetings and clubbing is me to the "9's' short skirts and platforms ect ect. I do think that bunny makes a great point, however. No matter who the person is, if they want to be there, they will be cleam and presentable. I have worn baggy t-shirt before but it was clean ( this was pre loosing 180+ pounds). It was my comfort zone at that time. I wouldnt let the teeshirt turn me off... but if it was dirty or someones hair was more than wind blown ( ya know.. rats nest sitting on top of the head) that is a different story

[Just_us49]

Originally Posted by good times

As far as sweats go, they are the anti-viagra in my opinion, I've noticed that their are very few women that don't look repulsive in them. Sweats are outlawed at our house, ick!

Now that is an undeniable truth in my book.


Although we've not met any couples one-on-one that we felt the woman wasn't into it, we have seen women at clubs that amaze us as to what they are wearing.

Some people have no idea how to dress to flatter themselves...according to their particular shape size etc. I happen to be one of those folks but thank goodness my wife can keep me in line.

We know of a couple that she dresses extremely conservative at the club. They say they are not into "the public display, but love to watch and be around it."

I think in their case they would be into the "public display" as they put it, if they had more confidence in their appearance. So maybe some of these women don't know how to dress and some have no confidence to dress sexy or impressive.

I could look past the “don't know how” but the “no confidence” would be a red flag to us.

-D

[BiDrywallChick]

Originally Posted by Just_us49

Now that is an undeniable truth in my book.


Some people have no idea how to dress to flatter themselves...according to their particular shape size etc. I happen to be one of those folks but thank goodness my wife can keep me in line.

-D

lol this is me right now! I am trying to find what forks for the new me... umm sometimes, i make a huge fashion booboo ( like wearing hot pink pants... what was i thinking)

[JustAskJulie]

I know people like that - that just DON'T dress up - but usually it's the male half. My ex was like that, if I didn't dress him, it was jeans and a t-shirt (or sweats and a t-shirt).

I think there's a difference in just NOT CARING and not knowing. And for a lot of women they don't care for some reason and it may not be that they aren't interested in swinging. So often we see it when a couple gets comfortable with each other, they have each other and they stop trying. The woman stops putting on make up every day, and lounges around the house in sweat pants (and god forbid goes out in them).

I can't help but wonder if that isn't what you are running into. If it's not that these are couples who have lost that spark, they don't try for each other anymore and maybe that's why they are considering swinging. They need that newness again, they need someone else to tell them they look nice when they are made up, someone else to get made up for. If they don't try to look nice for each other, why would they make the effort for someone else? Maybe they wouldn't, and maybe that's the problem.