Does what you are attracted to change?

[curiousagain]

This is a question for singles and couples.

After you swing for awhile do you find yourself more interested in a person's personality than their looks?? I mean looks of course have a lot to do with what we do, but, if it's going to be more than a "gun and run" or "driveby" you have to find the person interesting outside of the sex act itself.

Maybe because interesting people are the most fun in and out of bed?

I know, there are still those that are so hot you don't give a hoot about their personality, but, otherwise........

[good times]

Absolutely, We have actually played with couples at the club and then after we got to know them a little better we weren't interested in playing with them any more. On the other hand we have a couple of regular playmates that at first, while we didn't find them unattractive physically, we weren't overly excited about them either, but after we got to know them we found that their personality made them much more attractive and sexually desirable than we had first thought.

[bigbreastedbabe]

I guess I've been headed about this whole swinging thing from that perspective. Although I do not consider myself to be that attractive from a physical standpoint, I am very sexual and flirtatious. I love people who are the same.

When I see someone who is physically attractive, I assume that the depth of his/her personality is only as deep as the surface looks...I would much rather have sex with someone who was not as physically attractive but has incredible moves in the bed!

[misterbates]

Personality wins hands down....but...i've met a few people that no amount of great personality will change!!LOL!!!..but I'll still be they're friend!!!

Mr B

[curiousagain]

Well, there are times you really like someone as a person but you just aren't that sexually attracted to them and it goes the other way too.

I am just saying that someone's sex appeal can skyrocket with the right attitude/personality and can plummet with the wrong ones. And, it may only seem wrong to you or vice versa. And you may be so far outside someones strike zone there is no way you can get there.

I like short women usually, but if I really click with someone's personality, height doesn't matter.

[Spoomonkey]

I think for us - we have really recently gotten to a point of epiphany. Sure - there are people that, regardless of personality, wouldn't interest us sexually - but on the other hand, there are some really great looking people who are so devoid of a personality that sex with them would undoubtedly be wooden and dull...

I think Mrs Spoo and I are an attractive couple, and we go through times when we get a lot of attention, but I like to think that our personality is more evident than our looks... For us - we have realized that people who are fun to be with - whether they are 5's or 10's - are probably going to be fun to play with. And - sex should be fun, right? That's what we're looking for anyway - fun, playful sex. The right personality can guarantee that quicker than the right look, in our opinion.

Spoomonkey

[DBL D]

I think you gradually come to the point where you realize that beauty is only skin deep. I'd rather go for a certain body type or hair color than great looks per ce. If you happen to meet and click with a good looking couple then I guess that would be a BONE-US

Personality has become the most important thing for us I think. It's fun to step outside the box once in awhile though.

Male D

[JustAskJulie]

If you are going to do anything more than meet - shag - walk away , I think you have to be interested in more than just looks. I've seen some beautiful people turn ugly real fast just by opening their mouths.

If I was in a group situation (aka orgy) with a lot of people I really didn't know, I WOULD judge those who I chose to participate with based on looks. Plain and simple, you don't have much else to go on at that point.

This got me in a lot of trouble the first time I tried to arrange a GB for myself. It was going to be a situation where we were going to meet the guys, go at it and that was it. I wasn't going to be taking the time to get to know the guys, and had no intention to (maybe after, but that was another story). I had a couple of guys get REALLY pissed off when I turned them down after I saw their pics. The funny thing was that in the end I ended up with only one guy that showed up of the ones I had picked based on looks, so no GB (that time). Because it was just him, he had a great time, got a lot more attention and we really got a chance to get to KNOW him and we did end up playing with him again later. WHen I finally did get to have my GB it was, for the most part, all guys that I had gotten to know through various means - and out of all 6 that were there, there was only 1 that I would have chosen had I just been basing it on the picture (and personality wise, he was the one I liked least - ego).

So to answer your question, I don't think it comes with age, I think it just depends on what you are looking for in the end.

[two4youinswva]

Originally Posted by curiousagain

After you swing for awhile do you find yourself more interested in a person's personality than their looks?? I mean looks of course have a lot to do with what we do, but, if it's going to be more than a "gun and run" or "driveby" you have to find the person interesting outside of the sex act itself.

Personality plays a HUGE part of it for us. Of course we need the basic attraction to get it started, but to keep it rolling, we need our minds stimulated too.

Originally Posted by curiousagain

I know, there are still those that are so hot you don't give a hoot about their personality, but, otherwise........

We know of at least one couple that looked like a 9/10, but quickly became a 2 after a little observation and interaction. Luckily, we've met some average folks that we realized were 9's and 10's after we got to know them better.

[DBL D]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

...I've seen some beautiful people turn ugly real fast just by opening their mouths....

Damn! She's talking about me again! I wish she would stop that.

Male D

[DBL D]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

If I was in a group situation (aka orgy) with a lot of people I really didn't know, I WOULD judge those who I chose to participate with based on looks. Plain and simple, you don't have much else to go on at that point.

This got me in a lot of trouble the first time I tried to arrange a GB for myself. It was going to be a situation where we were going to meet the guys, go at it and that was it. I wasn't going to be taking the time to get to know the guys, and had no intention to (maybe after, but that was another story). I had a couple of guys get REALLY pissed off when I turned them down after I saw their pics. The funny thing was that in the end I ended up with only one guy that showed up of the ones I had picked based on looks, so no GB (that time). Because it was just him, he had a great time, got a lot more attention and we really got a chance to get to KNOW him and we did end up playing with him again later. WHen I finally did get to have my GB it was, for the most part, all guys that I had gotten to know through various means - and out of all 6 that were there, there was only 1 that I would have chosen had I just been basing it on the picture (and personality wise, he was the one I liked least - ego).

Sorry Julie, I couldn't resist! (about the previous post)

I haven't talked that much with Fem D about a GB but I think she would like to know the guys who are going to be involved. To much shit to deal with otherwise. (Like the guys who got "pissed" because you turned them down.) On the other hand you said you had been with one of the guys you said didn't look all that good at first glance?

Although we haven't done any thing like a GB I would think that part of it would be the thought of strangers playing with you. Some people get off on the anonymity of it and some need to know their partners fairly well to even let them know of the GB idea.

One thing about this lifestyle...it can be fairly plastic at times...other times you want to know what's cummin'.

Male D

[confunktion]

Originally Posted by curiousagain

After you swing for awhile do you find yourself more interested in a person's personality than their looks??

Not after a while; actually, it has been like that from the get-go for me and Mrs. Funk. We never discounted personality, even when we were starting out. It was #1 on the list, even if it was going to be a one-time thing. In our minds, there was a risk by not getting to know the people even a little bit. It never takes long to get a good read on people; just take note of body language, vocal inflection, eye contact, and other verbal and nonverbal clues. That should give you a very good idea if the prospective mate(s) is/are a good match or not.

The Monkey Man has it pegged, IMHO. We're looking for fun playtime every time, and we're willing to do the work and make sure we did everything we could (within reason) to ensure a rollicking good time!

Mr. Funk
Emphasis on the "licking" of rollicking.