jimcat

I hadn't looked at this post in quite a while and was totally surprised by the number of responses to my original message. Julie,what a divergence of opinions! I was only attempting to help single guys see what couples (at least my wife and I) find appealing in a single guy at a club. The single guy were going to swing with next we met on the internet;we have been to our favorite club several times since that original message and not one guy has impressed us with their social skills. Many guys try to visually do the talking which just doesn't work. We want to be assured that in the context of our marriage and swinging lifestyle you "fit in". A single guy seems to us to be much more of a risk to our comfort zone than a married couple who swing. I can only imagine how difficult it is for a single guy to approach a couple at a club and try to make that connection. I can also only imagine the rewards if you do make that connection! I'm not trying to be critical of single males only helpful.As I said before I know how expensive a club can be for a single guy.

P.A. We must not attend the same clubs! I hope I didn't imply married women want a romantic connection like they have with their spouse. I do believe however that most couples want to hook up with singles guys that they can connect with----my wife insists on it. A good conversationalist and enjoyable personality is part of the foreplay. By the way I enjoy seeing her with another guy as much as she enjoys the experience.We always demand condoms. Finally I think your whore comparison is way off base this is a lifestyle we are talking about not a livelihood.

Why not ask her if she'd watch other couples or the two of you could just be with each other in an open room at at a swingers club. That's how we got started. I don't think my wife would have done an immediate swap before taking this step first. Once we took this first step she got to observe other couples reactions first hand.Now each time we go the rules get more relaxed. Be sure to tell her that her going is not a future commitment to anything; just expanding your horizons.

My wife and I took completely the opposite approach to swinging then Stratecoupl. We avoid the internet completely. We don't chat, don't advertise, don't e-mail. We just feel that their is entirely too much misrepresentation by couples and singles.We feel the best approach is a swingers club where you can make an "upfront" assessment of the people your considering playing with.This approach has definitely worked for us. With our jobs and family we don't have the time otherwise--- the swingers club route is very efficient. We've meet many people and from this can match up with the desired personality and sexual appeal. I really can't fathom people that spend countless hours on the internet other than people who don't have access to a club. Just a suggestion on how not to get frustrated before you get even get started.

After being at our local swingers club recently and having seen an unusually large number of single men I felt it necessary to make a few comments. Almost all of these men have the wrong approach if their desire is to hook up and swing with a couple. I will list a few of the do's and dont's that may be helpful. Don't sit at the bar all night and not approach a couple and expect to swing with them later in the evening Do approach a couple and introduce yourself early. A sincere compliment to the female goes a long way.(you may get shot down but nothing ventured nothing gained). Don't expect too much on your first meeting with a couple. We meet a single guy who made a sincere compliment to my wife. We wouldn't consider sharing a room on that first meeting but after a second meeting who knows. Do find common interest with the couple. no matter how much of a stud you are people find other people who have similar interest fun to be with. Do be honest and frank(not crude) about what your looking for sexually.Were there for a reason an so are you;were not expecting a choir boy at a swingers club. Hope these tips are helpful. I know how expensive these clubs are for single guys.

My wife and I had a similiar situation at a Christmas party with non-swingers this weekend. I actually get somewhat bored that we can't get "crazy" as we do at the local swingers club. A conversation started on "most unusual place for sex". I wasn't about to say "in front of 50 people in a group room". Each couple thought their story was wild - if only they knew!

My wife and I caught that commercial at the same time. We laughed it was well done and unlike many mainstream tv commercials or shows did not cast any negative images on swinging.I think were seeing the tip of the iceberg here. Shows like "real sex" on HBO with honest dialog with swinging couples is reaching large audiences. We have not told any of our friends (couples we didn't meet at swingers clubs) about our hobby for all the obvious reasons. With the new morality with emphasis on honesty rather repressed sexuality who knows maybe well be able to open up with them soon.