We have been in the lifestyle for over a year. We have clear boundaries with each other and inform the couples that we meet of those boundaries. We are soft swap only.
We got into the lifestyle as a way to live out the bi feelings she wanted to explore. We wanted to meet couples as friends first as we needed to be comfortable being new to this. It has always been about the girls and their pleasure. We met a wonderful couple and have become great friends with them. We've also had the pleasure of a few "play" dates with them that have always been wonderful and exciting.
Then, out of the blue, we were told that we are taken too long to get to some of the comfort levels that they are used to. This couple has been full swap with others, but knows about our boundaries and have respected them. In one of the play dates the female performed a little bit of oral on me (the male). This was within our boundaries, but we had also decided that we were not at a point where she would reciprocate. Again, we are in this for her to experiment with females. It is more than enough for me to fondle both women and then have same room sex with my wife while being watched.
Because we aren't willing to perform some of the same acts, we were told that they don't think they can continue doing anything with us sexually. I say "too bad for you" and let's find another couple that understands what it is we are looking for. Is this too confining? Are we not "good swingers" because we won't bend our boundaries (at least not yet)? Is there such a thing as "taking too long?"
